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Original poster

Paying for something for his ex

91 replies

Lostandfound1 · 07/12/2016 16:46

AIBU to think that my partner should not be taking out a phone contract for his ex girlfriend ? And paying the bill for her.

We've been together for nearly two years.
They have children yes.
They don't communicate between visits etc so it's not like it's for the kids to remain in contact.

Thoughts?

OP posts:
HuskyLover1 · 07/12/2016 16:50

That's weird! I could see it if she was dirt poor, and she needed a phone so that they could communicate about the children/arrangements. What are his reasons for doing this?

Original poster
Lostandfound1 · 07/12/2016 16:57

He was paying for it previously as he didn't want to pay the cancellation fee at the time but that finished - I could understand his point of view and he saw it as being money free.

That contract ended two months ago and he has since decided to take another one out for her.

She isn't poor. He pays for the children etc, she works etc. Has a house phone.

OP posts:
ZoFloMoFo · 07/12/2016 17:00

Maybe he considers it part of the maintenance?

If they have kids together then they clearly do need to be in some contact occasionally or in emergencies.

Original poster
Lostandfound1 · 07/12/2016 17:03

She's a landline and email for that

OP posts:
ZoFloMoFo · 07/12/2016 17:04

Not when she's out she doesn't.

Pestilence13610 · 07/12/2016 17:05

She's a landline and email for that welcome to 2016.
Your DP sounds most reasonable.

PlumsGalore · 07/12/2016 17:07

If she need a fone for contact between them and emergencies then surely a PAYG would suffice?

FrankAndBeans · 07/12/2016 17:09

If it's their arrangement that is longstanding since before you came on the scene stay out of it.

Original poster
Lostandfound1 · 07/12/2016 17:09

Surely a payg sim in the phone she had previously would suffice ?

I don't see a reason at all for him to still be paying for it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lostandfound1 · 07/12/2016 17:10

He wasn't happy to pay for it and wanted it cancelled.
He only continued because he didn't want to pay for the cancellation.

I don't believe he should be taking out another contract for her now that the old one is up - it was purely for convenience on his part before hand.

OP posts:
ZoFloMoFo · 07/12/2016 17:11

How does this actually affect you - him paying for a phone contract for his ex?

Would you prefer it if he paid an extra £20/£30 a month in maintenance instead?

fluffygal · 07/12/2016 17:12

No that is odd. Does he have an arrangement such as he pays less maintenance and covers the phone? Very very strange arrangement.

FrankAndBeans · 07/12/2016 17:12

Maybe he took it out because she had poor credit and wouldn't be approved.

Pestilence13610 · 07/12/2016 17:15

Evidently he finds it convenient to be able to keep in touch with his DC and their mum, whenever he needs to. Why do you want to stop this cooperative coparenting? Maybe she needed an updated handset so he could facetime them when you are not around.

Original poster
Lostandfound1 · 07/12/2016 17:18

I have already added they have no contact between visits.
(Her choice - they email any particulars )

I find it odd that he has decided to continuing paying for it.
He already pays above what he needs to child support.
Him paying for her phone bill doesn't effect their parenting relationship at all what irks me is that he has offered to continue paying when he doesn't have to.

OP posts:
ToastieRoastie · 07/12/2016 17:20

It sounds as if he wants her to have a phone so they can communicate about DC. My ex and I often send each other screenshots of homework, photos of kids that they want us to send, etc. We never communicate about anything other than kids. I'd find it harder to co-parent if I didn't have a phone and had to wait until I got home to a landline to call or sit down at a laptop to email. With a phone I can do stuff on the go.

I don't think it's that odd he's paying for it. You could suggest he pays more into maintenance money instead if it bothers you.

RockyBird · 07/12/2016 17:21

Just be irked then. It's none of your beeswax.

HappyJanuary · 07/12/2016 17:22

I would suggest that their relationship is friendlier than you are being led to believe.

Nobody made him sign the contract, he wanted to, no matter what he says.

Either they are in communication or he feels guilty about her for some reason imo.

Original poster
Lostandfound1 · 07/12/2016 17:25

He doesn't call the children between visits.
He never has done that.
She doesn't send him updates between visits either.
Unless it's an emergency.

But I would have thought she could use her old phone with a payg sim even if her credit is poor.
It doesn't make sense to pay for it and I was looking for responses that weren't so het up.

I haven't slagged her off merely am confused by why he feels the need to pay for it.

OP posts:
Pestilence13610 · 07/12/2016 17:27

You could try asking him why.

unicornpoopoop · 07/12/2016 17:29

Well I think it's weird

AyeAmarok · 07/12/2016 17:32

So why did he do it?

Original poster
Lostandfound1 · 07/12/2016 17:32

I have but he seems evasive and not particularly interested in saying why.
It's a completely different stance to the previous year where he was furious to be paying it still.

OP posts:
PizzaPlease · 07/12/2016 17:32

Maybe they offered him a good retention deal and it just made sense to do it again?
The only person who can answer the question really is him. It's a little weird. I'm assuming the contract must be in his name, which means he would have access to stuff like itemised bills if he wanted to. From her point of view I think that would make me uncomfortable alone. But ultimately it's their business I guess!

eyebrowsonfleek · 07/12/2016 17:35

Would the extra £30 pm benefit you?
Maybe he pays it so that he knows her mobile number?

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