Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

OH F**K MY DH HAS JUST LEFT ME- Hope there's someone to talk to

361 replies

ohsmellyjelly · 15/02/2007 22:07

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
BandofMothers · 23/02/2007 20:21

Sorry you're feeling so low. MM is right you've been stressed for ages now, and now you have back up, and dh isn't there, so your brain and body have waved the white flag.
Make the most of it to take care of yourself and try to feel better.

Onabreak - what are you talking about????

Original poster
ohsmellyjelly · 23/02/2007 20:49

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
ManchesterMum · 23/02/2007 20:53

"I miss you and want you back with your family where you belong" would be one hell of an opener in any conversation with dh.

BandofMothers · 24/02/2007 07:45

Must agree with MM. Good way to start. Follow with a sincere apology about hurting him and lots of assurances, (men are needy creatures too though they wont admit it).
Maybe a picnic at the park with the dc's would be a good idea. After you've had some alone time to talk.
Never seem to catch you when you're on line!!

Original poster
ohsmellyjelly · 24/02/2007 08:19

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
BandofMothers · 24/02/2007 08:48

I'm glad you've come to a decision about what you want. That in itself must be a relief!!!
I'm fine. Am generally fine, with "moments" of, oh god my life sucks. Think that's normal though!!
I think Relate will help a lot because he'll probably realise that what you did is not uncommon, and actually a healthier way of dealing with a crush, or whatever you want to call it, than going out and doing something.
At least that's the way it seems to me.

jenwa · 24/02/2007 16:26

You must really love him still to feel this way (I know even if you are not in love you would be feeling like this) but it seems you are gutted about it all so maybe you do still have alot of feelings for him and it takes something like this to realise that. I hope things work out and if you do both really love each other than hopefully you will both work it out and try again.

ManchesterMum · 24/02/2007 17:42

Just wanted to say hi OSJ. Nothing to add to what I've said before, you had enough of my twopennethworth for now.

Hope you're fair to middling - probably silly to suggest OK - and that having the additional support of your Mum is helping more than it hinders Just think, it could be us in a few years...yikes!

Original poster
ohsmellyjelly · 24/02/2007 21:58

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Original poster
ohsmellyjelly · 24/02/2007 22:00

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
BandofMothers · 24/02/2007 22:05

Good Luck. Hope you read this before you go to bad.
Will be thinking of you and hope you can work it out.
Sounds like he's a good guy and really loves you.
At the end of the day, nothing happened!!!
At least you have that.
{{{{{hugs}}}}}

ManchesterMum · 25/02/2007 15:09

You seem more sure of what it is that you want OSJ and may have to accept that you'll have to take a supporting role in helping dh rebuild trust etc. because he will need to continue to work through the anger/upset that he feels. However it can be done and will be worth the effort for you all. Hope today's talk has proved a good starting point?

BTW really good to hear what a great support your mum has been

Mumpbump · 26/02/2007 11:20

Hello there! How did your chat with dh go? I hope that it ended well...

Original poster
ohsmellyjelly · 26/02/2007 15:00

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Mumpbump · 26/02/2007 15:06

Hurray!!! Sounds very positive and like a step in the right direction. So glad that your dh is ready to give it a go... I would have been quite upset for you if he hadn't... Anyway, a good end to the first chapter - now you're just got to write the next one!!!

Original poster
ohsmellyjelly · 26/02/2007 15:13

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
wartywarthog · 26/02/2007 15:14

fantastic!

BandofMothers · 26/02/2007 19:47

That's reslly good OSJ. If you can work through this and survive as a couple it will definitely make you both stronger.
Glad that you've both decided to try and make it work.

Original poster
ohsmellyjelly · 26/02/2007 20:30

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
BandofMothers · 26/02/2007 20:39

S'okay.
It's important to be happy. We're only here for a little while, might as well enjoy it.

ManchesterMum · 26/02/2007 22:58

Just have a fleeting chance to check in and see how things went OSJ. So pleased that they seem so much more positive.

A busy couple of days with minimal PC access, I'm afraid, but I'll definitely try to have another look later this week.

Best wishes to you, dh and dc (((hugs)))

Original poster
ohsmellyjelly · 28/02/2007 12:20

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Mumpbump · 28/02/2007 12:28

OSJ - there is obviously something not quite right in your relationship at the moment and you need to work out why that is and work to resolve it. I would really recommend Relate - I think it is very helpful to have a third party perspective on your relationship. It's amazing what properly trained counsellors can elicit from you. Remember that your situation is not going to improve overnight and that you need to start with small steps - perhaps a date or something? It won't be easy, but you both seem to be prepared to work at it so I'm sure you can get there in the end.

Original poster
ohsmellyjelly · 28/02/2007 13:22

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Dior · 28/02/2007 13:26

Message withdrawn