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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

tradesman won't give my keys back

47 replies

chillyogawine · 16/11/2016 14:03

I feel aggrieved. I had some work done in my house and gave a set of house keys to my builder chap. He came recommended via a friend, so thought he was trustworthy and also I work so can't be here all the time to let him in. Anyway while working for me, he started coming over familiar and flirty, it was clear what he wanted, we're all gown ups here, I don't need to spell it out. I was upset because although I am friendly and chatty, I'd given him no reason to think beyond that, plus Im married with three kids and he'd met my husband a few times! Anyway I was clear with him that he had overstepped the mark. I didn't tell my husband as I didn't want to cause any upset. He finished the job and we paid him but he left without giving me my house keys back and when i've asked him for them he says I have to come and get them.
He's clearly a weirdo. I've looked into changing the locks and as its 3 diff locks and I need several sets cut it's expensive and of course Inhale to tell my husband now, which is fine. I'm so annoyed. Is there any way to force him to give my keys back? I feel helpless and angry at how he's treated me and also worry he will do this to someone else. He's married by the way himself! Any advice or shall i just change the locks, block his number and draw a line under the whole experience!

OP posts:
GloriaGaynor · 16/11/2016 14:34

You'll have to change the locks irrespective of whether he gives the keys back.

chillyogawine · 16/11/2016 14:35

good idea re police, i wouldn't think they'd be interested but at least i'll have reported it in case he does anything weird again!
Will talk to DH and report the keys and get the locks changed anyway.
Feel sorry for his poor wife, married to such a low-life.

OP posts:
loveyoutothemoon · 16/11/2016 14:41

Why change the locks? Get hold of him TODAY. I WOULD get my husband round.

scotslass76 · 16/11/2016 14:41

I would report to the police. Scumbag has stolen your keys ffs.

0SometimesIWonder · 16/11/2016 14:41

Report to the police and then text him the crime number - bet you'll get the keys back pdq.

funnyandwittyusername · 16/11/2016 14:43

It's not theft as you handed him the keys (in legal terms) as expensive as it is I would change the locks. You don't know if he's copied them and definitely complain to professional body if there is one

Craigie · 16/11/2016 14:43

Phone the police. He sounds like a fucking weirdo.

chillyogawine · 16/11/2016 14:45

is there a professional body for builders, well he's a plumber really. I couldn't find anything online? And he's not on checkatrade (now I know why!) and doesnt have a website or anything I could post a warning on.

OP posts:
Ginkypig · 16/11/2016 14:50

Yes I agree with getting the locks changed. you don't want the knowledge that he may have access to your house (even if you got them back)

Iv been in a similar but different situation (I was a child about 11/12 and he was an adult)
He knew where the spare key was (as a family friend) and let himself in I didn't hear him so the first I knew about it was seeing his face come round the living room door. It gave me the most scary realisation that had I been alone Anything could have happened (and probably would have)
By the time I knew he was in the house he was actually in the same room (in the doorway) I would have had no escape.

Looking back and knowing how dangerous he turned out to be (a whole other thread!) im very lucky really.

Ginkypig · 16/11/2016 14:52

Im just popping out but wanted to say I'm sorry you're going through this chilly!
Good luck Flowers

Wonkydonkey44 · 16/11/2016 15:21

Is he gas safe registered if he's a plumber?

What a creep and please change your locks 🔐 we were burgled 2 days after we had workmen in and I will never leave anyone let's again xx

helennotsomadnow · 16/11/2016 15:22

I would ring 101 and ask for advice, tell them about his behaviour and that you have text from him, not sure what they would advise or do but its worth a go

Ilovenannyplum · 16/11/2016 18:58

100% change the locks even if you do get the keys back.
I wouldn't put it past him to copy himself a set.

As PP said, call 101. See what they say.

Joysmum · 16/11/2016 20:18

I know you are changing the locks but I would report to local trading standards as well as 101. Even better if you have text proof.

chillyogawine · 17/11/2016 17:27

thanks for all the great advice, its been very helpful and also made me feel so much better about it. Felt like maybe I was making a big fuss but i feel 100% vindicated that I'm in the right and he's a nutter! Have a nice evening all x

OP posts:
YuckYuckEwwww · 17/11/2016 17:33

Definitely contact the police, they might not do anything but I don't think people behave like this as a once off, and if someone else reports sexual harassment or stalking from him your report will help.

Is it keys for 3 separate doors or 3 keys for a main door? Can you change just the main one?

Walkacrossthesand · 17/11/2016 17:40

What yuckyuck said - if any of the doors has more than one lock, and you always lock all of them, you only need to change one lock on that door to make any copies he has, useless.

QueenOfTheNaps · 17/11/2016 17:47

I would go to the police, perhaps call the non emergency number?

I'd be reluctant to "send my husband round", firstly not all husbands are going to want to be confrontational and secondly this crazy man could do anything!!
My husband is big tall and strong (hubba hubba) and would love to have a row with a man who disrespected his delicate wife (ha!) but I would hate for him to go there in case this loon grabs a hammer or something Confused who knows

Lucy7400 · 17/11/2016 23:39

Just change the locks.

swampster · 17/11/2016 23:48

What a tosser. Our Plumber From Hell did the same with our keys. Can't help wondering if it is the same guy.

HelenaDove · 17/11/2016 23:59

OP have you checked your things to see if anything is missing and if he has been anywhere he shouldnt.

chillyogawine · 19/11/2016 09:31

I did have a look around and can't see anything missing but he may have been through my stuff and I wouldn't know really. Makes me feel bit sick to think about it.
Swampster, he could be I guess! It gives tradesmen a bad name, am sure there are some good guys out there but this experience has made me a lot more suspicious!

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