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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Kicked daughter out... I don't even feel bad...

97 replies

Nance60 · 11/11/2016 20:52

My daughter is of age btw to be removed from the family. She isn't at risk. Staying with a family member I believe. I want to feel bad, I just don't. I said some horrible things but she has seriously caused some major problems to this family and I just couldn't take it anymore.

OP posts:
BratFarrarsPony · 11/11/2016 20:54

of age? like over 18?

Manumission · 11/11/2016 20:55

Right.

Sleepybunny · 11/11/2016 20:55

It's sad for everyone involved I imagine.
Having time and space can really make a difference though.
Are you prepared to 'leave your door open' to her and mend the relationship in the future?

Nance60 · 11/11/2016 20:55

She's over the age of 16

OP posts:
dementedma · 11/11/2016 20:56

Mine is 25 and I will crack one of these days and pack her fucking bags.....

BratFarrarsPony · 11/11/2016 20:56

so is she 16 or 17?

Soubriquet · 11/11/2016 20:56

Why?

Nance60 · 11/11/2016 20:56

What's that right for? Hmm

Sleepy, I don't know... I'm still trying to just think things through, that's why I'm here :)

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 11/11/2016 20:57

Staying with a family member you believe? Don't you want to know she's safe even if you don't want her with you right now?

Nance60 · 11/11/2016 20:58

She's very almost 18 (at the end of November) and because she dropped out of college... Lazes around the house. Refuses to help. She does nothing with her life and I've tried to help her by telling her about all the college courses there are but she just gives a bad attitude.

OP posts:
Nance60 · 11/11/2016 20:59

Purple, a family member told me that she was with them but she may not be staying there tonight. However family member then said she could so not 100% sure but pretty sure she is

OP posts:
EarlGreyT · 11/11/2016 20:59

Manumission indeed

Northernlurker · 11/11/2016 21:01

Well I would want to know my child was definitely in a safe place. Be careful op, things easily said today will be much harder to take back tomorrow and harder still next week or next month.

Soubriquet · 11/11/2016 21:03

Well I think you've over reacted

But as long as your happy ey Hmm

Nance60 · 11/11/2016 21:04

Hang on, of course I'm not happy but I've tried everything I can

OP posts:
BratFarrarsPony · 11/11/2016 21:04

Soubriquet don't start on OP when you do not know the full facts.
Of course it would help if we had some facts....but we dont. so in the meantime let's not start putting the boot in.

PurpleDaisies · 11/11/2016 21:04

However family member then said she could so not 100% sure but pretty sure she is

Why don't you phone them and check?

Nance60 · 11/11/2016 21:06

She also says spiteful things.

Because I said I have washed my hands and if I start phoning she'll be laughing her head off that I am now phoning to ask about her

OP posts:
PoldarksBreeches · 11/11/2016 21:07

Sorry, you can't wash your hands of 17 year old children.

PurpleDaisies · 11/11/2016 21:08

Because I said I have washed my hands and if I start phoning she'll be laughing her head off that I am now phoning to ask about her

That's irrelevant-she's your child. Surely you're hoping to reconcile at some point? You could text the family member instead of phoning if you want to be less obvious.

SmilingButClueless · 11/11/2016 21:08

How do you know she's not at risk if you don't know where she is?

I obviously don't know what she's done to cause problems. But it must be pretty serious for a child to be kicked out of their home. Was there no way you could help her find somewhere else to stay if you really can't live with her?

BratFarrarsPony · 11/11/2016 21:08

well you cannot 'wash your hands' of your child, even if you did have to ask her to leave.

Phone her.
I am not judging you for throwing her out, but she will still need your support moral financial and other wise.

PoppyPicklesPenguin · 11/11/2016 21:09

Maybe you will get more sympathy if you give some examples about the situation.

Right now it reads as some very minor/normal teen behaviour.

dementedma · 11/11/2016 21:09

do the posters who are criticising without knowing all the facts, have teenage/adult children?

CauliflowerSqueeze · 11/11/2016 21:10

If she laughs her head off it would be for show. Maybe text to say you hope she's ok