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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Insecure men, red flags?

102 replies

J0kersSmile · 06/11/2016 21:29

Slightly gutted to be posting this. I thought I had found a really nice man to get to know but he's really insecure and it's putting me off.

He wants reassurance everytime we speak and text that I like him and miss him. It's bugging me now. I've told him I like him we're dating, we're sleeping together (sex is great) but he really wants more quickly and he's now getting insecure.

I was really attracted to him, really liked that he had a busy life with friends and the gym, we had a spark but I really don't want to have to reassure someone that just because we haven't spoke for a few hours that I'm not off with him.

This is a red flag isn't it? He also told me he gets jealous the last time I saw him. Sad jealousy is normal to an extent I suppose and so is insecurity and I could be over reacting as I have been with a few Dickheads before and he's so nice apart from this. Flowers, meals, thoughtful stuff ect. I really liked him.

Can you help someone over their insecurities? I don't particularly want a project but everything else is great apart from this. He will put me off if it carries on anymore though.

OP posts:
Imbeingunreasonable · 09/08/2017 23:48

I dated someone like him years ago. Met up with mates who I hadn't seen for years and was accused of being a slag.
Went to a BBQ and was accused of 'taking the piss out of HIM' because he wasn't invited - this was before we officially got together!!
Went to a friends wedding reception and he couldn't go because he had to work. He saw the photos on Facebook and kicked off asking 'who is that bloke you are laughing with there? Who the fuck is that knobhead stood next to you? Etc etc'.
I worked in retail at the time. Apparently every male customer was 'eyeing me up'.

He ruined my self-esteem and I only ever saw friends when he was there so he couldn't accuse me of anything. I wish I'd have told my younger self to not bother but you live and learn. He didn't even Love Bomb, he was just an accusational bellend.

You've done the right thing op.

Motoko · 10/08/2017 01:49

This is a zombie thread. OP posted last November.

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