Need urgent advice please. Serious issue

[Namechangeemergency]

Hi. Obvious name change for this.
I have been on MN for years. I don't mind people knowing who I am but I don't want this linked to other stuff and I will be asking MN to delete my history if that is possible.

If you work out who I am that is ok but please don't mention my MN NN. I have had it for years.

I have a DS who is adopted. His birth mother is related to us.
My DS is extremely vulnerable. He has ASD and LDs. He has complex issues.

Last night at 2am his birth mother, grandmother and half sister (a young child) turned up on my doorstep demanding to talk. As if it was a normal time to turn up.
I didn't speak to them but my OH tried to reason with them. They stared shouting and screaming and woke DS up who became very distraught and frightened.

I called the police and they responded quickly and took it all very seriously.

I really need some advice on how to get an injunction and what sort of order I need. The police told me I need something so he can arrest her if she does it again.
I cannot stress the huge impact this sort of thing will have on my DS. He is beside himself and thinks she is going to take him.
We have tried to maintain relationships over the years but her behaviour is so dangerous and erratic its been impossible.
DS is legally adopted. There is no contact order in place because BM refused to cooperate despite me advising her it was important for the future.
We had nothing to do with him being removed. We just stood in when he was going to be put into foster care and he has been with us since he was 8 weeks old.

I need to get this sorted asap but I dont know where to start.
Is there anyone with professional knowledge who would be willing to help us? I know its a lot to ask but just some pointers would be of help.

This is a woman who sent me texts when my DD was terminally ill, wishing she would hurry up and die.
I had to have police at the funeral to stop her turning up and causing trouble.
I have never had an argument, slagged her off to DS or caused any sort of trouble with them. I concentrate on what is best for DS.

She is incapable of doing that.

I was hoping my local court would be able to deal but they are not coming up on that list.
Bugger.
Why now when I am starting new job? I can't get time off.

ffs just read about your manager (ex manager i;m hoping re new job)
as a long time member i recognise you, so you might want to get this post removed btw
thinking of you today - you or your family don't need this!
good luck

Phone the emergency SS team anyway today. They may want to investigate what the situation is with the little girl they turned up with, and it will help if they can start the ball rolling in terms of any action they want to take. At the very least I suspect they will help you by providing supporting evidence about why your son's birth family should be kept away from him.

about publication of DS details.

Good luck. This too shall pass.

Oh Jesus.
I'm so sorry.
Maybe repost this in legal?

I have left the LA now thank God.
It will be ok. We will sort this.
We have been through worse.

She may just back off now she has had her drama. I just need to get stuff in place so they can arrest her if she tries it again.
A report will be made by police re young girl. I checked that it would.

I thought about posting in legal but I wasn't sure if it would be seen. I should have put it in Chat 30 days really but I am so tired I wasn't thinking straight.

I have no knowledge of this type of situation but just wanted to say that you sound like a great mum for your DS.
Thank God he has you looking out for him and not the person that thought harassing you at an ungodly hour with a little one in tow was a good idea.
Good luck

I don't have much to add except sympathy as I am in a very similar situation to you.
In my experience it would be quicker to obtain the injunction yourself than go through social services who are incredibly overstretched and dealing with many urgent cases.
I may be wrong in your case though.
It is possible to get a free half hour appointment with a family lawyer but again will take time.

Thanks again.
I am reading and taking note of everything.
I have just called duty in the Adopting Borough (not our home borough) to let them know. They are going to call me back.
I know not much can be done now but I felt I needed to let them know asap or it might look like I didn't think this is serious.
I will consider options after they have called me.

I need to get a few thing sorted. I can't do crisis in an untidy house.

Obviously I need hoovered floors and made beds if I am going to sort his out

We've never interacted on MN, but I know who you are (on here, not in RL) and I have the greatest respect for you

I hope this is all sorted out very quickly for you, your OH and your DS's sake.

I can't add to the advice already given, but wanted you to know I am thinking of you and I hope all of this is resolved ASAP

to you how bloody awful for you all. I wonder if SS would assist with an injunction, more specifically their legal team?
Appreciate you are post AO but worth contacting them I think.
Xxxxx

Jesus op no advice sorry.

fuck knows you have been through enough in your life

OP tell the LA it's their actions that led to this harassment and need for legal action. This should embarrassment them into taking legal action asap .
Check up with SS that they have received the police report when you have time.
Good luck.

So sorry your DS, you and your family have to deal with this. I hope something as concrete as the non-mol order will help your DS - knowing that the police will arrest her if she even comes near him or his home. Hopefully that would help him feel everyone (by which I mean "The Authorities") understands his fears and completely agrees with/ respects them. It will help that he heard you and his Dad fight (and succeed) to keep these women out of his house too. Hope it all settles down soon.

Sorry OP as just realised that my previous post may be taken as suggesting your case wasn't urgent and that certainly so.
It's just that in my experience ss have been very slow to respond to anything.

Ben you make a good point. As my local LA's actions could have led to this I think they bloody well should sort the non mol out.

I spoke to Duty at the placing borough.
She agreed we needed legal advice.
They will be investigating sister's welfare
She didn't think it was that important to contact local LA until I told her about photo cock up and she then changed her mind.
Agreed about contacting school.

I need to sort it all out and then get on with life.

I am not scared of them. They are pathetic, powerless people with nothing in their lives.
But I do want my DCs protected from their nastiness.

Hi, I haven't RTFT as I am at work but didn't want to read and run as I have some knowledge to assist. The adoption team have a legal duty to support you with this and if necessary, provide support with their legal team. Contact the adoption team of the local authority who he was adopted through tomorrow. I am so sorry if this has already been advised, I do apologise as I know that is frustrating. Best of luck.

Sorry if I sound a bit thick OP but are you saying that they didn't have your address before, and the pictures in the local paper led them to finding you?
How would photos do that? Sorry if I've missed something.

Well done on making the call and hope you get reassurance soon.
None of you deserve this, your poor lad.

No it wouldn't have helped them find our address but it might have triggered this latest incident.

They are very strange people. They are very jealous of anything positive. They think they own him and should be the ones taking 'glory' for anything he does and he is very, very talented.
Regardless, it was a huge breach of confidentiality and gave them a current photograph, something they didn't have before.

I have not RTFT but if you can afford it, a solicitor if not get yourself into the phone to the local family court and explain the situation and that you need to apply for some sort of non-mil order, I would think.

Non-nol.

Yes I see thanks. So seeing the picture just might have triggered jealousy, which resulted in their appalling behaviour. Very nasty people.

I hope you're pursuing the breach of confidentiality, regardless of whether it triggered this or not. Breaches of safe guarding shouldn't be allowed to happen unchallenged.

You have a lot on your plate but you sound strong, and your love for your boy shines through, he's lucky to have you.