Need urgent advice please. Serious issue

[Namechangeemergency]

Hi. Obvious name change for this.
I have been on MN for years. I don't mind people knowing who I am but I don't want this linked to other stuff and I will be asking MN to delete my history if that is possible.

If you work out who I am that is ok but please don't mention my MN NN. I have had it for years.

I have a DS who is adopted. His birth mother is related to us.
My DS is extremely vulnerable. He has ASD and LDs. He has complex issues.

Last night at 2am his birth mother, grandmother and half sister (a young child) turned up on my doorstep demanding to talk. As if it was a normal time to turn up.
I didn't speak to them but my OH tried to reason with them. They stared shouting and screaming and woke DS up who became very distraught and frightened.

I called the police and they responded quickly and took it all very seriously.

I really need some advice on how to get an injunction and what sort of order I need. The police told me I need something so he can arrest her if she does it again.
I cannot stress the huge impact this sort of thing will have on my DS. He is beside himself and thinks she is going to take him.
We have tried to maintain relationships over the years but her behaviour is so dangerous and erratic its been impossible.
DS is legally adopted. There is no contact order in place because BM refused to cooperate despite me advising her it was important for the future.
We had nothing to do with him being removed. We just stood in when he was going to be put into foster care and he has been with us since he was 8 weeks old.

I need to get this sorted asap but I dont know where to start.
Is there anyone with professional knowledge who would be willing to help us? I know its a lot to ask but just some pointers would be of help.

This is a woman who sent me texts when my DD was terminally ill, wishing she would hurry up and die.
I had to have police at the funeral to stop her turning up and causing trouble.
I have never had an argument, slagged her off to DS or caused any sort of trouble with them. I concentrate on what is best for DS.

She is incapable of doing that.

All that info is in the Women's Aid link I posted above.

Regarding legal aid, I tried to apply for my teen dd recently. They used my income and I didn't qualify. I am on a low income with tax credits etc. so unsure what the criteria is?

Here's an example if a completed one from the chartered institute of legal executives site so it's kosher. Not sure how old it is but the points should remain the same. Just ignore the occupation order bit. You just need the non-mol stuff.

www.cilex.org.uk/pdf/FL401%20for%20U20%20Family%20Practice%20SA.Jan%2013.pdf

Hopefully you will get legal aid/ss support but just wanted to post the links in case not. It also shows you what info the solicitor would need to complete it on your behalf.

Yes - a non-molestation order. It is free to apply. Get down to your local county court on Monday.

It can prevent BM from coming to your home or from approaching you or DS when out and about. The connection between you and BM is close enough for a non-molestation injunction to be made.

LA cannot do it for you because you have to be the applicant.

From what you say I am doubtful that a crime was committed, so it is unlikely that a restraining order could be made or that the police could act. But it is clearly inappropriate and deeply worrying and upsetting for you and above all for DS. A non-mol order would be sufficient though, because it becomes criminal offence to break it and BM could be arrested if she broke it.

Are either you or your DH in a union? If so then you may have legal support through them, ditto with house insurance - might be worth checking just in case.

Solicitor specialising in family law first thing tomorrow morning. They will advise you on what you need and put it in place.

Don't forget Scotlad and NI are different!

For E&Wales, this is your answer

Google "FL401" and you can download it free from HMCTS website. print 3 copies (4if the grandma is to be a respondent as well, but she may not be close enough to be "associated person". Can you say what her relationship to you is?

www.justice.gov.uk/courts/procedure-rules/civil/standard-directions/general/witness-statements

Guidance for your witness statement form. AGain, 3 or 4 copies.

What a horrible thing to happen. How is DS now?

I think the LA could do it on behalf of the poster and her DS though? I don't see any issue with them either doing it in-house or paying the family lawyer's fees though? Presumably the do so in respect of children who are subject to adoption proceedings? Worth checking.

I am sure you will be making a report to children's services regarding the other little girl.
It sounds awful x

If you're concerned about the cost of a lawyer, check your house insurance you may have family legal cover that might help to reduce the cost.

If you do have it, check the small print to see exactly what it covers. I've never used it myself but have always got it for just in case.

So I need a non mol order.
I need to download and fill out that form.
I need to take it to county court tomorrow

I need to talk to school and SS.

Is that the plan?

Is the court the magistrates court?

DS is calm but this won't go away.
Its an adopted child's nightmare/fantasy.
Someone coming in the middle of the night to take them away

Might be worth reposting in legal.

What did the police actually do? Take a statement and then go to interview the birth mother and co.? Were they arrested?

Personally I would probably go to the police station and ask for advice, perhaps there is a formal complaint you need to make, just guess work on my part.

Your son is legally yours and as such should be able to be protected by law.

Your statement needs to set out exactly what happened last night. IF there's a history of problems, list them. Explain your son's particular vulnerabilities and how this affected him.

Quote any police references, and the case number for adoption case. ATtach a copy of the adoption order. Explain your current family setup.

Explain what you want (bar on communication, exclusion zone around home, school, work etc.)

The court should be very keen to help support you and your son.

Good luck

Also, if you haven't already then provide your DS's school with photographs of the people who are not allowed to pick him up together with the reasons why they can't as well as any documents that substantiate this if you have them.

You might need a court appointment rather than just turning up. If you ring now they may have a recorded message telling you what you need to do.

This site gives contact details for all courts. courttribunalfinder.service.gov.uk/search/

You need the form plus a statement, take it to your nearest family court, which may be either in a county or magistrates court building, counters usually open at 10,00am

No, not magistrates' court, it is County or Family court.

here is the court finder tool; here

tick the box for domestic violence (although it isn't) and put your postcode in.

Many courts have closed their counter service but they should have a procedure for urgent applications like this one. Good idea to phone today and see if there is a recorded message about what to do to make an urgent application.

DS goes to a special school and gets transport.
I had to call them last week about a similar issue.
I don't know if you will believe this....
I was working for the local children with disabilities team. DS performed at the launch of new service. My managers published his photo and name in local free paper (every home in the borough, every public building) and it went on two websites.
Despite my not giving permission and being explicit about our circumstances.
I warned the school that something might happen due to this monumental fuck up.
I have no idea if this is connected. There are other aspects that I don't want to go into here.
But at least the school have the heads up.

FFS. My boy. He doesn't need this crap.