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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Scared he is going to take kids away

80 replies

Hotwaterbottle1 · 06/10/2016 21:08

Please help, I need urgent advice.

Quick background - Separated but living together, 2 kids ds 15 & dd 12. He refusing to accept its over. He made living there intolerable, causing tension, awkwardness, huffing & lately being unreasonable, shouting, following me, stalking me by phone, smashing patio doors, punching wall.
After being shouted down on Sunday to leave I did & came to my mums. 2 mins drive away. He works from 7am to approx 5pm. I have therefore gone over at 7am to get kids sorted for school. Then as part-time after work to cook their dinner, do their washing etc. Then leave before he is home. Also took dd to cinema Tuesday and had them both here for dinner tonight.
Emailed him today about various things (money we owed from his friend, Xmas present for kids, interim contact details). He replied saying won't reply until he has seen a solicitor. I replied asking what a solicitor has to do with any of it. He got back to me re money owed but nothing else. I am now terrified by leaving I have potentially caused an issue for me re access to kids. Should I go back?

OP posts:

DixonD · 07/10/2022 09:59

Hotwaterbottle1 · 07/10/2016 08:14

I moved in late last night.
He refuses to move out and says he refuses to let me take kids.
He started within minutes of accusing me of leaving him for someone else. I'm not. I have casually seen someone though (since separated) & told him that last week after him shouting at me.
He says this is kids home and he staying here. He won't listen to reason that if he pursues this then we will be forced to sell it.
It has no completion certificate, work still needs done to finish extension. Selling now we would lose £50-60k.
He is coordinating & finishing work, I have no way of finding out what's still to be done.
Found a drop in cab so going for 9.30.

Well, was it your decision to separate?

I think that the person who leads the separation should be the one who moves out. I personally think it’s cruel to decide to leave your partner and then expect them to lose their home too.

If you choose to separate, you choose to go.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 07/10/2022 10:02

THIS IS A SIX YEAR OLD ZOMBIE THREAD THAT WAS REACTIVATED BY A SPAM POST.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 07/10/2022 10:02

I don't want to go to court

You don't have any choice about that. You need to see a solicitor ASAP and be warned he may change the locks. I think you moving out was a big mistake. Can you move back in today? Even if unpleasant.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 07/10/2022 10:03

Sorry just realised Zombie thread.

Gardener4 · 07/10/2022 12:30

I left my family home recently and moved in with my mum and dad because the emotional abuse if my ex husband was making me mentally ill.
I told my husband when I would be expecting to have my children at my house Wednesday until Sunday and I just took them at that time.
I randomly would call in the house to collect items etc.
I am mentally better every day. Staying would not have been an option. Log everything and get in touch with your local domestic abuse charity who will advise you. Don't stay in the same space as an abusive man emotionally or physically. Put in an order through a solicitor to get shared custody.

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