Fist of all some basic background to where I am today. My ex wife and former love of my life had an affair a left me and the kids for another man. She was always a difficult woman but I loved her all the same. When I was in the relationship I was blind to the abuse I was under. She would go off her head at me for the littlest thing, she would put me down, attack me sometimes and as well as the affair she had been lying to me about all sorts for years mainly to undermined my trust in my closest friends and family. Because of her lies I nearly lost some good friends. I was blind to all this because I trusted her 100%. She tore my world and kids worlds apart.
Anyway role on to the present. I live with the kids and she lives 100 miles away. We get on fine now and I get no abuse from her (on the whole she is sound). I know the above paints her in a bad light but despite it all I don't think she is evil just a messed up person. I think I married a fraud, maybe she was trying hard to be someone deep down she wasn't. M best guess is some sort of personality disorder. The household is a lot calmer with her gone. The main problem is she is a compulsive liar. I really don't think she knows what the truth is anymore. Her life is a mess I know that. It didn't work out with the bum she left us for (the best way I can describe the bloke, he was no catch). I don't love her anymore (never thought I would say that) but it seems I have some sort of responsibility for her. She has totally fucked her life up and has nothing. Its is a bit of a pain that she lies all the time. She has just told me that she has had to have a few days off work because she has had a break down. That wouldn't surprise me as I often worry about her mental health and I think the enormity of the way she's fucked her life up is starting to kick in now she has no one to look after her. We had it all really. But the trouble is I never really know is this is the truth or a lie to work things to her advantage.
So it is working like this for us. We get on fine now. She is nice to me (not that she was always horrible we have lots of nice loving memories too). I help her out with stuff like her car. No point hating her. We sometimes do things together with the kids. We always spend Christmas together with the kids and we are going on our first little break away together with the kids soon for a couple of night (separate rooms). I think it could be very good for her as it will probably be the only holiday she gets this year. I have paid for the accommodation and will be driving us all up. I will probably have to pay for nearly everything as she say she always skint (that probably is the truth as she earns little working in a popular fast food place). I don't really mind as I am fairly comfortable and it would be the same if we were still married as she never brought in an income. I just hope we all have a nice time (that I am confident we will to be fair) and that it helps my ex wife to perk up a bit and feel a bit happier.
So my question really is am I mad (I know I am in general) to be so friendly with my ex, care about her wellbeing and still supporting her to some extent? Especially after the hurt and abuse she has caused me? Should I be making the excuses I do for her actions because I think she has problems or is she in reality just a dick?