Mum doesn't like my new man

[user1475242598]

I am 34 and from an EU country (here for 8 years), and have been seeing a widowed 53 year old professional Englishman for 4 months. We met through a religion-based dating website - he is very devout, and it is important for my husband and me to share the same religion. He has five children (28-9years old) and is keen to have more with me.

Mum came for a holiday last week and met my boyfriend - he invited us to his house for a meal, cooked by his eldest daughter and daughter-in-law (married to eldest son). Mum has decided that he is not right for me; too old, already has kids, and when I have children with him, he wants to retire while I go out to work and he and his eldest daughter care for our babies and his kids.

Also, Mum understands more English than she speaks, and while we were out collecting his son from rugby, his daughter and daughter-in-law sat in the other room mimicking her accent and saying bad things about me.

My boyfriend is lovely, and I feel he is my last chance at having children of my own - previous boyfriends have cheated or been violent. Mum thinks I would be going into an unhappy situation. I am not sure what to do - what do you think?

Glad OP you have left him. He sounds creepy and like one of those men who want a child-wife. The worst thing is that he might get one but hope he never does. Horrible and disgusting man.
Wishing a good luck in meeting a wonderful man. X

Wishing you a good luck in meeting a wonderful man. X

Really pleased to see your update, so glad you have come to your senses

Wishing you the very best of luck for future happiness

I would be worried about the adult children behaving as they did and would certainly not want my own children being left in thier control on a day to day basis - can you imagine their input with your dc and how they may behave?

The family don't sound particularly pleasant in their actions towards your own family.

I have a good friend who met her husband on a Christian dating site and they seem very happy, so it's not all bad.

But I think lots of other sites ask your religion and you can search for others who share it too?

Bloody hell. You'd die a slow death if you stayed with him.

Not just him but his horrific daughters. They'd take your kids: CERTAIN. Apart from everything else. It doesn't bear thinking about.

Brrr. Too horrible on every level

Get on the Freedom Programme asap. Apart from some first class info you'll make good contacts which should lead you to further steps to address the appalling role models in your childhood. You CAN unpick all that disordered shit but it takes a bit of work. No time like the present - especially as you came so close to accepting this horrific set up.

You're not the only one btw

Thank you for all your replies - my DM would also like to say a big thank you to you all. Having seen the situation, she was so worried about me.

It was my ex-BF's comments about her that opened my eyes to what he is like; at 54, she is a beautiful woman inside and out, who escaped a horrible marriage and built a career, supporting my brother and I until we became independent. Ex-BF is shallow and values women solely for how they look.

He sent me a text last night to say that he has booked his plane tickets to Manila. I blocked and deleted his number.

Best wishes to everyone.

for you OP. Well done on walking away from such a horrible man and potentially awful future. Don't give him one more thought. You have a lovely Mum and brother who obviously love and care for you and you are so young with so much time ahead to make a great life for yourself. Good luck to you x

Bon voyage!

Well done for coming on MN and listening to the overwhelming advice to leave him well alone, even if just to see if people here agreed with your mother and brother.

Hopefully you will have learnt how to spot a bad match and will be able to find someone decent. Best of luck, and go and celebrate!

Op, you sound like a lovely person, and your family also.

The fact that he disrespected your mother speaks volumes about what's going on behind that sanctimonious mask. Not a very kind man at all.

And he's already booked his flights to the Philippines has he? Seems like he didn't need much time to get over your relationship.

Well done for not replying and blocking him.

Move forwards and upwards. You will find someone who truly deserves you.

He sounds utterly awful. I feel so sorry for whatever Filipino woman he ends up with - alone and isolated at the mercy of his family

OP I wish you the best. You sound lovely and you've done the right thing.

Lol at letting you know he had booked tickets to Manila! As if he is letting you know what you are missing out on!

I would agree about giving religious dating sites a swerve. Can you ask friends and family to try to make introductions rather than doing OLD? Why is it so important that any future partner is RC?

My DH is RC, has a couple of aunts who are nuns etc, yet he met and married me, a die hard atheist. We both respect each other enough to make it work despite our different beliefs.

Good grief what a creep!
He's already booked his tickets.
Dick-head.
So glad you are away from him.
Find a nice young man now.
Enjoy your life!