OH told me I have big vagina

[boysboysboys123]

Hi

I've been with OH for 5 years & we have 2 kids. Generally I'd say we have a great relationship-it was certainly great before we had kids. He's still loving, supportive & a good dad.
But he has a habit of saying hurtful things about how I look.
A few months ago he told me I had saggy boobs & a few weeks back after a few drinks he told me how my vag had gone wider after having the kids.
While this is prob true it was mortifying to hear-I am now avoiding sex cos the 1 time we did it since I was excruciatingly self conscious.
He did apologise but in that conversation mentioned my belly, the fact I've put on weight & said he loved me anyway (like I'm a charity case & he's doing a good deed). Then a few days later he mentioned my stomach sticking out. I feel like he hates me.
To put this into perspective I'm a size 12 & smaller than before the kids, so while my body is different obviously I haven't radically changed. And while I have insecurities when I go out without him I feel good about myself.

I can cope with the fact he's not one for compliments but these things hurt me & I don't know that'll I'll ever feel attractive to him again.

AIBU?

He sounds horrible. My exH was like this (note the 'ex'...) and would point out my stomach sticking out or if my hair was a mess all the time. It was worse when he was drunk and he told me I wasn't sexy and he didn't really find me attractive. He also used to quiz me about what I ate in case I put on weight. It's neither here nor there really, but I was a size 8/10 the whole time we were together.

It really wears you down and knocks your self esteem and eventually I realised that if the person who was supposed to love me most was saying things like this then they couldn't really love me. Sorry OP, I know how it feels.

Sorry your DH is an arsehole I'd like to see what he looks like ! I bet you look great and his ego can't take it

No advice sorry

Horrible. Deliberate chipping away at your self confidence. Abusive actually. Grrrr i feel v angry on your behalf. Tyring to support a partner who needs to lose weight for their health is one thing (DH is thin as a pin but if he gained a lot of weight I might try and help him get fitter for instance) but this sort of "I love you but of course no-one else would given your huge flaws" is very controlling and speaks volumes about his own insecurities rather than your body!! I am a generous 12/14 now, having been a size 6 when I met DH. Two babies in my 40s and a thyroid problem, combined with grief-eating after four major deaths in the last four years, have packed on the podge. I am starting to address it, but DH has never ever made me feel that I am less attractive to him than before.

Don't worry about feeling attractive to him. You should be more bothered about whether a rude, mean, bitchy arsehole is attractive to you.

I would tell him in no uncertain terms that if your vag is no longer suitable, then he has no further need to avail himself of it. What a twat.

What a horrid thing to say to you...I'm with other posters on this thread...tell him to show some respect or show him the door. You deserve better...much better xx

doesnt soun very nice to me a size 12 isnt even average these days

im a size 20 yes i know overweight

my oh has said remarks but only in reply to me going i feel tired and out of breath i thinkits only coz hes concerne though he doesnt randomly say it

tell him hes penis is shrinking

The only big cunt in this situation is your husband, OP.

Please tell me you've been giving as good as you get.

What Hedgehog said. That was a horrible thing to say to you, OP, use Hedgehog's brilliant response.

And make it clear that living and having sex with you is something to be cherished and if he doesn't feel UP to it then he can go. I bet you're beautiful as you are.

"Well it won't matter to you as your cock won't be going anywhere near it again."
I call asshat.

He is not a good dad to his children if he makes hurtful comments to their mother. Women in poor relationships as well often write the "good dad" comment when they themselves can think of nothing positive to write about their man. He is certainly not a loving or supportive person to you and puts you down to make his own pathetic self feel better. He does this as well because he can, he feels entitled to do this because he sees you as a non person.

And you are with him because...

What do you get out of this relationship now with him?

Also this sort of behaviour is hardly what I consider "loving and supportive" OP.

He sounds pretty unpleasant. My husband often moans about the fact that I am not like I was when he married me at 22. I am 38 now and apparently am not aging well, have very saggy boobs, am overweight etc etc. It is hurtful so I understand how you feel OP. The thing is though is it is about them not us. It still hurts when it comes from someone that is meant to love us though doesn't it!

I'm another one saying you should turn it around and ask if his dick has shrunk with age

I'd also tell him his little dick wouldn't be coming anywhere near me now!

What an arse

What a horrible knobhead. Love Hedgehogs response

Colinfirthsgirth, is your dh unaged, unflabby, unwrinkled, no male pattern balding?

Where the fuck do these guys get off?

Needle dick is cruel and nasty and he's telling you that he doesn't love or respect you so listen to what he's saying through his comments and actions. He knows what he's doing and he's certainly not a good dad. He's being abusive and so calculated in it.

Think it's more likely to be his micropenis OP.

I'd call him a wanker but that's not likely possible with his condition.

One of my friends DP told her that it was like fucking a bucket after she had their child. He was a doctor. They split up.

She was in size 8 jeans 1 week after the birth - so in pretty good shape externally (that isn't the right word but you know what I mean)

Also, LTB. Before your self esteem ceases to exist!

As tempting as it might be to say things back, it would be really really unhealthy to get into a bitch-fest with your OH, especially if the DC over hear anything.

Stay strong, stay gracious, work on your self-esteem, and figure out how best to LTB

Emotional abuse.

Just say, I didn't think I needed a bigger cock than you in my life, but hearing your comments about me, makes me think I do.

Tell him it's on big cause he has a micro-penis.
What a prick!

Tell him that tonight you want to shove a melon up his arse so he can squeeze it back out. Twice.

Then you will shove your finger up there to see how loose it is.

What a fucking inconsiderate prick.