AIBU? Finally feel like I have snapped with him. Over bloody Pizza.

[LucLuc]

Had a LONG day yesterday for various reasons. Husband NEVER cooks, washes up, irons, cleans ect. Anyway. I was run of my feet and last night gave our 2 children Pizza and salad for quickness, whilst I got on with chores ect. Gets to 9pm and I realise I am STARVING. Haven't eaten all day. So whilst he is supping his sodding beer in the conservatory, I ask if he is hungry, and would he like a Pizza? He say's he isn't hungry due to large work lunch. I then tell him I am going to eat an entire Pizza on the sofa, in front of TV as I'm starving and knackered. He tells me to knock myself out ect. Anyway, I ask him again if he is sure he doesn't want me to put one in for him to. For the second time he declines. I'm in the other room sorting PE kits, when he calls out my Pizza is ready and offers to take it out of the oven. I walk into the kitchen and he has 2 plates out and comments ''Don't mind if I eat half of this do you? It smells nice''......

So. This is when things went to shit. I tell him I haven't eaten all day, and was really looking forward to tucking in BUT as the oven is hot, I offered to throw one in for him, and told him it would only take 10 mins to cook. He then called me 'Selfish' and stormed upstairs after a lot of huffing and puffing, and he actually slammed a door and muttered 'Fuck You Then!'

He will be back from work in a couple of hours, and I want to talk to him about it. He seems very emotionally immature (been together 18yrs) and he's getting worse with age. I know the Pizza scenario sounds ridiculous, but his behaviour is often like that. Problem is, eldest heard the exchange last night and commented today 'Rather you than me Mum listening to that!' I guess my point is. I am fucking drained. As a couple we have dealt with infidelity, bereavement, redundancy, depression, illness ect.....I just feel exhausted. I have suggested couples counselling. He won't do it. I often feel like I am flogging a dead horse. Anyway. This is my first thread, so go easy. FYI. My thin crust pepperoni Pizza was sodding delicious.

Sorry for minor derail but wtf regarding hangers? Where, other than the wardrobe, are empty hangers meant to go?

Is dp silently dumping me every time I put a jumper on....

Also baffled by the coathanger thing.

www.huffingtonpost.com/matthew-fray/she-divorced-me-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink_b_9055288.html

You really do not value your own self at all do you Luc?

Fishface77, I was about 6 or 7 when my trifle was designated to my father. Strange how you don't forget these things. He looked so happy, leaning back at the dining table.

OP, heavy bottomed copper base gentle saucepan pleases me.

But legally, a DC rattling a tin of Lego could be the way to go. Or perhaps if DCs are too old for lego, perhaps they might enjoy a drumkit? Especially when he's had a 'heavy lunch', supped beer, refused supper, stropped because you wouldn't give him your's, then ordered take-out left strewn about the place.

Please don't clean up his mess, or do, and leave it in his work clothes pockets. Sticky sauce and all. Then he can't complain he's hungry.

Thanks to the majority who gave positive and reasonable responses on here. Taken on board. Some of the other feedback is a little speculative and rude. Anyway. It was my first (and only post I'll be making.) We had a lengthy chat. He is working in Dubai for the next week. Maybe he is used to the service there? Thanks again to those who offered advice. I'll be frank. Reading through these comments there are a large amount of what I would deem 'Man Bashing' posts. And also a fair bit of speculation regarding infidelity which is completely irrelevant.

Im glad youve talked it out and realised it is just because he is used to a dubai level of service. I do hope you achieve your 5 star rating soon.

He's getting used to the service there.

You need to up your game Op

No. No. No. I was obviously being sarcastic regarding the Dubai service. Thank you to those who took the time to comment in a productive way. I do believe in our marriage vows. SO if this is for worse, then surely it will get better? If not. I'll leave swigging the G&T and flipping him the finger :)

As long as you're happy, OP.

You are happy, right?

Did he clean the mess?

So why did you post looking for advice when you have taken none?
Words fail me, you are letting this person make a fool of you!
Good luck, you really will need it.

She'll be back. Different name probably.

You just can't help some people

Wtf.

I think I can explain coathangers. In our house, anyway. Empty ones go with our laundry supplies, so we can hang the clothes for drying. In fact the only ones that stay in the closet are, ironically, the ones which hang the actual coats.

So mentions infidelity & then gets snippy when posters ask for clarification on it .

FWIW OP ... The infidelity is absolutely 100% relevant - you've taken the head in sand approach , but honestly after infidelity there is always a wound there, & some circumstances will allow that wound to reopen more than others.

I'm talking from experience here as somebody who does not regret sticking with my DH after he had an affair.

But I would be lying if I said "infidelity is not an issue for us". Because once it's been there , that hurt is there forever , however much or how long time has passed.

So depressing the amount of people who waste their lives being slaves to others and getting nothing in return.

I was obviously being sarcastic regarding the Dubai service

Of course you were - you keep telling yourself that.

Oh op, he's horrible. Really horrible. I'm sorry, but whileyou believe in the marriage vows, he's hardly loving and cherishing you. Ask yourself, honestly, whether or not you get a bit of validation out of being a martyr?

You have children. Is this the kind of wives/husbands you want them to be? Is this the level of hapoiness and mutual care and respect you want them to feel right with?

Preemptive

Snap

OP your latest post was pretty rude actually after people took the time to help and advise you.
Man bashing? Only crap men like your DH.

Preemptive i didnt want to derail but since op is now dealing with room service...

Empty coathangers go in the laundry basket so when im ironing they are all there ready to have clothes hang off them. If theyre left in the wardrobe:
i. i have to go on a coathanger hunt pre-ironing, which is annoying
ii. They take up a lot of space and so the wardrobes become jammed and it is harder to get clothes out.

Empty coathangers in wardrobes annoy
me more than people writing 'alot'. I should probably have some therapy...

I'm sure you'll miss him very much when he's away!!

Oh, OP. You really need to pull your head out of the sand and take on board what people have said.

You have completely enabled your husband to behave like this and think treating you in this manner is acceptable. I'm not alone in thinking it's very sad that you are continuing to do so.

I'd like to know who cleaned up the curry/rice mess, although I have an inkling...