Dry 15

[glad2016]

For all those sober, or would be sober, warriors. KOKO (keep on keeping on) lovely people :)

Tapas your friend sounds lovely. Glad you had a good time.
Tattoos I have got through a box of gingerbread tea in a week! Very soothing for a cold. Thanks for the recommendation.
Glad big hugs, you are trying so hard. Keep on keeping on, we are all here for you.
Hubby's turn to take kids to swimming lesson today and he is hungover - don't envy him! Nice bit of chillout time for me. I'm going to attempt a toy clearout this weekend too.

Hello all - tomorrow is my day 125 (like the intercity)

Feeling very very tempted to break my sobriety tonight, because I'm feeling very meh and the wine witch is telling me that it's the only way I'll be able to consume enough calories.

However, I'm pretty certain it would get very messy very quickly! So hopefully things will improve over the course of the day.

I've now lost 1.5 stones, and am feeling like I'd actually like to stick at this weight, rather than lose any more - but it's hard as I'm terrified that eating will ean I go straight back to being fat.
I am aware that this is not terribly rational, and that I need to sort myself out before it all gets silly... Am currently consoloing myself with the thought that although I've lost the weight too quickly to be sensible, as I'm now slap bang in the middle of my BMI ideal weight, it's not really problmatic...

Other than the issues around control and eating, I'm doing OK. Got lots of lovely plans next week for doing nice things with people (cinema, coffee, lunch etc) and got a job aplication form to fill in to keep me busy!

Glad - remember that it's one day at a time - that also means no looking backwards and beating yourself up - today you're not drinking, and that's great

Tapas - sounds like a lovely evening

Waves at Vax

Pimp woo! for handing in your notice - It's amazing how alocohol just masks the probelms - now you're sober you're actually able to fix it! Fancy joining me on some job application wibbles? Do you have a clear plan about what sort of job you'd like to do?

ginger - you're story sounds similar to mine - I never thought I could do it, but now it's been over 4 months. It is hard, but if you keep posting here you'll get great support and get through it. I found listening to sleep hypnosis useful...

tattoos - hope you're doing ok - am thinking of you, I hope you have a lovely day...

Gotta I can't remember how many days you are? I found my sleep was all over the pace and then settled (but then I got dumped and it's all over the place again, lol)

Hello everyone, not caught up on the whole thread yet but just wanted to say hi.

Had a little blip last weekend - 2 beers one night, 3 glasses of wine the next - but stopped there and haven't drank since (half marathon tomorrow so been getting plenty of sleep and eating good food ahead of that).

One thing I noticed though was although I had drank, amounts were quite small so didn't feel any ill effects the next day apart from guilt for drinking. BUT - this week my anxiety has been off the scale - worse than for weeks and for no reason - only thing I can think of was the alcohol, as the anxiety had improved noticeably in the weeks beforehand.

I know alcohol has an effect but didn't realise it would be off such small amounts so was very surprised.

Absolutely no idea what job! I feel too old to retrain now. Yes - bring on the application stuff!
Glad - sorry stuff is crap for you. Well done for still being here. I reckon I would be off on a bender so you are showing real strength! Do you mind if I ask you to remind me how long you had been sober?

Thanks for the star tattoo!

I am nearly at 3 stone off. 2 people told me not to lose anymore yesterday but they were both heavy. I think thin people don't tend to say it. I am by no means skeletal - I've just lost a lot!
I do however know that my control of food is not very healthy but am feeling more worried that I will not have lost a couple of pounds this week and my ability to do it has suddenly stopped. It has been a really hard couple of weeks though. We will see.
I guess I would rather have problems with food than alcohol as I will always need to eat but I don't need to drink.
I do know what I am saying is not good...

Pimp I had done 268 days :( Ah well, new day, new start - going out to a meal tonight with a friend , no alcohol involved at the place thank goodness as its not licenced!! I just am upset that after all that time sober, I defaulted back to drinking when things got very tough :( .

Hi everyone - have been lurking for a while and just popping up to say hello... my drinking is way out of control :( Managed an AF day during the week and is was fine, weirdly, but don't seem to be able to do it again.

I can't find ways of comforting/rewarding myself that don't involve food and drink - mostly drink. DD is still to young to be left alone while I go for a walk, take up a hobby, and I am a single parent, so it has to be something I can do at home. Knitting is helpful as it keeps my hands busy, but it's not something I get excited about IYSWIM.

Glad

I for one am so pleased you're here.

Yes, you lapsed.

But you've been honest with yourself and got right back on the horse.

If it helps, tell yourself that while it's day 1 or 2 or 3, you've been sober for 270 out of the last 271 days. You are not back where you started, but somewhere different.

Love and herbal teas

Welcome Allington, good to have you here.

I'm a longtime habitual drinker who struggled to have AF days. My intake crept up in the years when my DDs were tiny. although I'm married my DH works long hours/away so have frequently been stuck in the house.

For me, the first step was to admit I didn't want to be a daily drinker.

The next was to find a support group. This one works for me.

No judgement here, which is key. Shame that I couldn't stop myself really inhibits me from asking for help IRL.

finnish I'm 4 weeks AF with one slip 6 days in. I've had 2 nasty colds in that time though which hasn't helped with sleep. Kids have also been unwell and up in the night. Hoping sleep will improve as time goes on.

How are you feeling now finnish? Good luck with the job application today. Please just be careful with your eating and speak to someone about it if you feel you need to . I don't think I've ever mentioned this on here but I used to self harm years ago and some of what you are saying is ringing alarm bells as sometimes when a lot was going on in my life and everything felt out of my control, that was the one thing I could control iykwim? I hope I'm not offending you, just a bit worried

Welcome Allington, single parent here too. Treats are usually something nice to eat or drink. A good book, good series to watch on Netflix, paint my nails or a bit of beauty care, recently started that meditation app Headspace, you can do exercise in the house some here are doing yoga, buy myself something nice I wouldn't normally, cook a nice meal for myself. Then there are the treats you can involve the dc in, days out you wouldn't be able to afford or be too hungover to do.

I agree with lizzytee, glad. I started a habit tracker a while ago where I fill in the days AF in pink. It's heartening to see the huge difference and despite all my lapses I can clearly see how all those pink days far outnumber the others. Big change from when I joined thread one and was drinking nearly every night.

My treats this evening: long walk on my own, honemade veg and bacon stew for dinner and hot chocolate with marshmallows whilst the cat purrs on ny lap. Getting the hang of it a bit now- enjoying AF evenings, that is.

Sounds like a lovely evening gotta, love a sinful hot chocolate with all the extras every now and again. Hope your cold is feeling a bit better now.

Great day, got the post breakup haircut whacked from long to a bob and resisted the really short, mad colour I had contemplated. New piercing as a treat to myself as I haven't had one in years. Then spent a bit of time with my friend and our dc which we wrapped up with milkshakes made with proper ice cream and chocolate bars.

Had to buy some booze to replace the stuff I'd drank of the parents last Friday and barely crossed my mind about drinking it. Well, briefly but not as much as it could have done.

OOOh - I've been thinking about a post=break-up haircut!

and Thanks Tattoo's - you're message yesterday was thoughtful and not at all offensive.

Phew finnish and go for it

Having major wobbles. Such a dull miserable day, bored silly, have cleaned the house already and my sciatica is sore. I want wine

I'm wobbling too - although more long term than just fancying wine right now.

I'm wondering if it was my problematic relationship that was causing me to drink too much, rather than anything intrinsic.

obviously, the correct way of thinking is that for 'normals' nothing triggers excessive drinking, and if I didn't have alcoholic tendencies, then I'd have found a different (healthier?) coping mechanism than drinking...

finnish and tattoos you can do this!! Stay strong.

I have just made a need casserole with red wine sauce. Amazingly I opened the bottle which had a small amount left (OH had the rest last night), sniffed it and thought, yuck! The fish smells appetizing but I wouldn't have wanted to drink the wine. That's progress I think. When I crave drink it's the idea of it that I want, not the actual drink.

The DISH smells appetising.

I can't say for you obviously finnish you need to make your own decision. I do know for me personally, I may be able to control it to a certain extent but there will always be stresses and strains and it seems to be my default way of handling them.

Excellent gotta and I hope you enjoyed your dinner.

Stayed sober!

Wasn't easy, friend texted earlier to inform me ex is going to an event on Saturday night I'm going to. I already had a bit of trepidation about it as booze willl be present, the plan was show my face for an hour or two then head home. That news sent me in a bit of a tailspin.

Automatically I think I have to have drinks to calm me on Saturday night, sure may as well have some now as I'm anxious about it now. Ended up messaging her to ask if she was going, we got into a bit of a text conversation, conclusion all is good. Neither of us want to throw our friendship away so I'm feeling ok about it now, actually looking forward to catching up and positive I can do it sober.

If I'd had a drink I would have sat and mulled things over in some endless loop constantly, stressing myself out running a million different scenarios through my head then no doubt drunk text later Bless being sober and making a clear headed decision for once

Had a really crap day today. Lots of extra family shit to add to the already v high level of existing family shit :( Can't detach or go NC as it involves juveniles :( How much shit can I take? Not sure :( Still not had a drink since lapse so back on Day 4 of restart.:)

However, just added yet more something else to my sober toolbox. I do have to wonder though, how much more do I have to keep on adding, for it to stick for good? But am trying to keep an open mind as really do not want to revert back to drinking.
Even considering going back to AA, which really did not work for me, although I do know it is great for many. Whole Higher Power thing was my stumbling block as well as some not great comments :(
koko lovely sober warrior friends. This thread really does help to make me think twice about drinking :)

Hello everyone!

I'm still here and still sober.

Give yourself a break Glad - you didn't go on a bender, you didn't hurt anyone, you are going through the wringer and you have it together today. Who was it who said taking it one day at a time meant not looking backwards? I needed to hear that - and maybe you do too. You've always been an inspiration to me and you still are.

Pimp exciting changes ahead. And like tattoos said, you've made the decision with a clear, sober head. It's going to be fine. I love my job, but I do wonder if I will still love it in ten years, and if I don't, will I be able to get out of it. You're brave and wonderful. Exciting!

Finnish so glad you're still here and hanging on, even if only by your fingernails some days and hours. I've been thinking about you and wondering how you've been getting on.

choc you are doing amazingly. The anxiety can be really tough - and yes, we know the booze might help us sleep and relax, but it isn't real sleep and relaxation, and the morning after is the most anxious time of all...

gotta I had a similar experience recently - just sloshing a little bit of left over red wine (about two tablespoons) down the sink so I could recycle the bottle. Red was never my drink, but when there's been nothing else in the house, I've even drunk manly old bottles of mulled wine, cold, out of the understairs cupboard. But this time, the smell of it wasn't nice and didn't tempt me at all.

Not much news here. Things between me and DH are better - we've had some good talks. Still waiting for our counselling appointment. The DC are well. I'm still doing my yoga and headspace. Work has calmed down a bit.

The nights are getting cooler and I am starting to wonder about how I am going to manage a sober Christmas. Being able to visit people and drive home is good. Being able to play with my kids in the afternoon, and not vomiting in the downstairs toilet on Christmas Eve morning will be good. Being able to go for a walk on Boxing Day rather than shaking and sweating on the settee all day will be good. I might have to look up some AF festive punch cocktails.

Bit early to be worrying about Christmas just yet though...

Evening hope you are all ok today.

Am craving wine, day 19 when does it stop?

I have eaten and drank tea but perhaps tired thought it would be better by now. Wont be drinking though x