Dry 15

[glad2016]

For all those sober, or would be sober, warriors. KOKO (keep on keeping on) lovely people :)

I'm day 3 and I'm struggling not to give in. It's the time of day. Dinner time always is when I feel it worst

Hurricane, break it down even to every 15mins

Sorry got cut off there - if needs be space it to every 15mins - it makes it easier.

Thank you I'll try that. I've had a really busy day. Just out of no where it hit me at tea time like it normally would when I've had a stressful day. Automatic reaction is go home and pour a wine. I'll pour myself a hot chocolate instead

Hurricane I found putting a drink in my favorite wine glass helped - something with a kick like tonic would help. I have since discovered alcohol free drinks i.e. Becks blue and they REALLY help - how are you getting on?

Than you Lou Becks sounds like a good shout. I'll get some in tomorrow. I havnt touched a drop. I will confess to buying a bottle of rose on my way home. But i left it in the car. I'm not going to touch it I'll give t away tomorrow. It's getting on a bit in the night now. I can get through day 3 and wake up ready for 4 knowing I can do it rather than waking up feeling guilty, and rubbish.

I had read a couple of times day 3 was tough. I think I will downloads Jason Vales book and read a chapter tonight. I've heard that helps too

Yes I said to someone else that day 3 is always a real rough/tough one for me - this time it was purely the discovery of becks blue which got me through day three which was a Friday (worse day of the week for wanting a drink)!! And then I had a huge social evening on day 4 but by then thought I really can do this and sailed on with the becks blue helping me out in all sorts of situations - it's been a lifesaver. Well done for resisting the rose - get rid of it first thing whilst your motivation is high, don't leave it until the evening when the witching hour is upon you!

And user - 65 days! 👍👍👍nice one!

Day 3 is when you start to actually detox I think so you crave alcohol to replace it. It's so addictive isnt it! Day 75 for me. Busy day at work for 11 hours followed by ill husband and mundane tasks at home for 3 hours. It's nice to get things done ready for a new day tomorrow but I just feel...bored. always busy doing stuff but..meh. Weather doesn't help. Ah well.

Thanks loubilou been hard at times but feel better now (although I do have issues with this feelings and emotions stuff that I didn't expect)

Re the Becks and putting stuff in wine glass etc I have heard that this may not be a good idea because you feel you are substituting and then think you are losing out on something, - but everyone is different and if it works for you go for it. 1hr 19 minutes and we all have another day to add.

It did cross my mind today when my body would start to detox. It's was just one of those days, I didn't get a chance to sit and relax all day then before i knew it was dinner time and the kids were running riot. Even though I had been on the go all day looking around tonight it feels like I've actually got nothing productive done. House work and course work tomorrow, then I'm working at the weekend!

Incidentally, I have a dinner on Saturday night. I plan on being the driver. I know I will struggle mentally on the run up to it. There should be one other not drinking.

Just think how much less you would have got done if you had cracked open wine at 6pm!!!!!

Walked out of my home past midnight had another crap argument. Went and had a brew at my mums house and then got abusive tx as my lb woke up and he can't deal with him. So I'm back home in my lbs bed.
I am confused I thought we was happy, he says he loves me but why would he b such a nasty person. I dunno where my heads at. But I can say which I'm proud of I don't want any alchol, when I got to my mums she was cradling a larger but it didt even occur to me or even get the urge!
I'm not feeling to smug just yet tho. Gotta sort this mess out...
Hate this fucking no good feeling iv got..clichés I just want to be happy!

Choco im here, youngest dc is starting with the cold and has been restless the last couple of nights. Tonight every time I nod off I get called for a cuddle!

I've not had a chance to read the full thread so I don't know the ins and outs of what you've posted. Well done you for handling this the way you have! Be proud of yourself! I hope your Ds settles for you and you get some rest.

User thank you. Your right! Especially with the lack of sleep tonight I won't be so grumpy in the morning!

Thanks! He is just in and out of my life moves out but when he does he wants back because he missed us. I love him and when he good he is fab. We both gave up the drink he is and always has been worse then me. He's had more slips then me. Since he came bk home he asked me if I'd marry him again. I don't know I think he's deppressed or something.we went for a lovely meal other week was like we was back in love. Life's a roller coaster.

Aw hope you're little one goes off soon, mine hasn't. I know my youngest will be up in 2 half hours.. grrrrrrrrr x

That sounds awful! Life is tough sometimes. So proud of you for resisting the urge to drink! Today is another day! We've done another sober one! Feels so good even if life throws curveballs at us.

It's so hard to get out of a rut, I've been there and we are out the other side just when we thought all was lost relationship wise. My dp doesn't drink a lot but has his own issues and we clashed a lot the last year. Since I've stopped having wine after dcs went to bed my head is so much clearer.

Your doing fantastic

Hi everyone

Hurricane well done on getting through day 3 - like everyone says, that's a tough one. I find that having a different drink (even if it's just a cup of herbal tea) is a great distraction - while I'm drinking tea I'm not so interested in wine...

Choc - that sounds quite hard to deal with - I'm really glad that you didn't have the urge to drink, you've got this! I'd find it so hard havig a partner who doesn't contribute - actually, I know that I did find i hard, lol. I'm much happier now I'm single. Being in a up and down relatioship didn't give me any space for me - but now I'm not waiting for the times he wants to hang out with me, I can fill my life with stuff I like, if that makes sense (not saying that you should split up, just that you shouldn't be scared of it if that's what you want to do, iyswim)

user - It's amazing the thoughts and feelings that come out! I'm currently feeling much more stable though, at 6 months - I found 2-5 months were very volatile in terms of emotions!

How are you doing gotta

Jojo - we're all thinking of you. If you ever need a chat about your mum, I work in adult social care - not a SW, but may have some ideas about care possibilities - I know that's probably not where you are at, but I'm just letting you know for if you ever do...

awks - What news! I don't know anything about the american election, my fingers are firmly in my ears and I'm shouting la la la as loudly as possible

Waves at lou - how are you doing?

misscookie glad you like my hang upside down idea

Waves at tattoos and anyone else I've missed...

I really miss one!

Hi Finnish thank you. Good morning. Or it will be after I get a few coffees into me. Dc2 is snot city this morning and as up most of the night .

Hello day 4! Bleary eyed and need a hose to the face .

Choco how are you this morning? You did fantastic last night!

Not in a good place, I tried to phone and sort things out but I got constant name calling and put downs.
I can't stop crying this morn. I am in such a bad place.
All he wants to do is to go work and then play on his game. I don't get a look in, this was one of the reasons we split up last time, because he Is the bread winner, he can do wtf he wants. While I'm at home can't get a job due to childcare cost ect. I love my babies but sometimes I hate this life.

Choco, I think is time that you need to take action and put a stop to this I'm not saying LTB as a lot of people on here seem to do, but I thought no you need to get your ducks in a row and then tell him if he does t sort it out that you are going to start firing at them.

Ask him to meet somewhere nuetral(coffee place or similar). Tell him that if he is abusive in any way that meeting stops and you are going to take action.

Tell him it's time to grow up and stop playing with toys all the time - he needs to limit the gam playing or play full time - full time is on his own without you.

Re the money go in this site first; www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance

Then tell him this is the minimum he will be paying you to look after DCs

Society is set up so that women can leave relationships if they need to.

Ilagain im not saying to leave him, give him a chance to work on his faults, but if he doesn't than leave until he makes a decision about whether he wants to be with you or not.

Thank user, I did all this earlier this year. He moved out properly I put in a claim which he flamed me for but what was I to do with 2 small dc.
I get told he loves me and worrys about me, iv had a toxic life growing up and he likes to use this against me sometimes. He my best friend I love him things can be good. I don't know if it's pressure on him regards money iv told him I would work the nights and weekends but says it's fine I have enough to do.
He told me before not to take him on? We supposed to be all going out as a family with his family tonight for tea.He saying I only wana sort it out for a free meal. if I don't go people will no something is wrong if I do go there wil be a proper crap atmosphere and people will no something is wrong. Iv only just managed to sort things out with his family.
I need to get a grip!

I think get a grip is the best thing you have said, and that's get a grip of the problem not yourself.

Not going tonight is probably the best thing you can do, bottling up problems and hiding them from everyone else will not solve the issue and only lead to more resentments in the long term.

My split from dw has shown that besides my drinking one of the biggest issues was bottling things up and not discussing them (which may have led in part to my drinking.

Lots of famil members have said that they thought we had one of the most solid marriages - probably because everything was hidden.