Dry 15

[glad2016]

For all those sober, or would be sober, warriors. KOKO (keep on keeping on) lovely people :)

Hi everyone -

Jojo - sorry for your loss, stay strong, and be kind to yourself - I know that I'm at my most vulnerable to the wine witch when I am too busy worrying about other people to look after myself..

tattoos - I def think that learning how to do self-care is the key to long term stuff - sounds like a good plan re the counselling. I noticed how self-destructive I was when my partner left me (didn't start drinking again, but did start smoking and lost 2 stone in 4 weeks through not eating). Am currently chatting with a fab counsellor on POF - I'm not sure I fancy him, but I recommend him for his lovely kind and thoughtful ways of interacting!

What happened to the book club? I need a new book to read!

Choc - went to a firwork party last night - felt a bit sad smelling all the lovely red wine, but after the first glass of fizzy elderflower juice I was fine! Take a nice drink that you like - hot choc in a flask would have been brilliant if I was that sort of person (Organised and cool... one day I will be)

NC to post here. Lurked for ages but really do need some support now. I have been dry since 1 November, so very early stages. I have been here so many times before, and this time needs to be different.

My father was alcoholic and died of liver disease. DB is also alcoholic. I drink every single night. Usually a large glass of wine followed by about four or more vodka and diet cokes - it doesn't sound like a lot, but the cumulative effects of it have been enormous for me.

I wake up in the early hours and can't get back to sleep, or am up half the night with dreadful diarrhea and often feel dreadfully sick and hungover all the next day. I have put on three stone in the past four years, and strangely, it is that issue that made me decide to stop drinking.

Not the sleeplessness, the nausea, the bowel problems, the headaches - No just my pathetic vanity. Still I guess it doesn't matter so long as I quit right?

So these few days in haven't been too bad. I went out with friends and had diet coke but they weren't drinking either as driving. I have noticed my hair and skin look dreadful, and I had the shakes today when trying to pack my shopping at the supermarket. Could anyone tell me if these are usual symptoms when you first stop?

Can anyone else tell me they have lost lots of weight after stopping as that would be a big incentive for me - I saw finnish has lost two stones in 6 months and that's amazing, well done.

Hiya,

The weight loss didn't happen in the first few months - I was just starting to gradually lose weight when I got dumped and stopped eating, lol

However, I'm now back eating normally, and maintaining my new weight/losing about 1 lb every 2 weeks - which feels about right (am now bang in the middle of my BMI healthy range)

But my sleeping got better much earlier (I used to do the 3 am thing too) as did my skin. I think I noticed an improvement in sleep and skin within 2-3 of stopping.

I've found that lots of different benefits motivated me at different times - but in the early days, you need sugar to get you through, so don't jeapodise your long term goal by avoiding sugar!

I think that shakes can be linked either to DT's, or for me, very low blood sugar can make me shaky - and I found my Blood sugar was all over the place in my early days - but if you think it could be DT's then it's best to get checked out by a health proffessional

Thanks finnish Yes, my sleep is much better already. To my shame, I am supposed to take medication every evening that I rarely take because you really absolutely cannot mix it with alcohol (believe me, I've tried) So since I quit drinking I have been able to take the meds, which actually make me very sleepy so that has helped me get to sleep and stay asleep. When I have tried before, I found that I couldn't get to sleep without being drunk and would stay awake half the night.

I suspect you are correct and it's blood sugar issues that gave me the shakes. I will try to eat healthily until I feel a bit more level, and then think about cutting food.

Sober coaches advise not trying to take on anything other than giving up alcohol for at least the first 100 days - it really is enough to be not drinking! Don't take on new job/marathon training/diet etc ( unless you have to, for work or a medical emergency!)

And if sugar gets you through not drinking, it ( at this stage) is the lesser of two evils - trust me!

Give yourself lots and lots of sober treats, be really kind to yourself, eat as well as you can, drink loads of water! ( I'd ditch the diet coke, if possible) and rest. Get some reading/audiobooks/box sets lined up and ready so if you can't sleep you can watch or listen to something. Sober podcasts are motivational, as are sober e books ( be careful what you pick - I found some were just too triggery in early sobriety)
Motivational websites like Belle Tired of thinking about drinking, Jackie at Sober Sassy Life, Club Soda, Soberistas etc are all wonderful - loads of free help on them ( and even more if you subscribe)
You can do it!

Hello everyone, thank-you for the thoughts and good wishes. I am coping just about with oceans of tears, coffee and cake so far. Can't sleep much. Grief is a horrible, horrible thing. Oddly I don't have much desire to drink. Instinctive self protection perhaps? Or just because I have to keep going at the moment and it would be completely inappropriate. Whatever the reason I'm grateful not to be craving it. Koko everyone.

tattoos What book were you reading?

makedreams if you drank wine you may crave something sweet and if your anything like me may divulge in chocolate etc for the next few months.. However everything settled down after a while and you will inevitably lose weight, however without any idea what your diet is like as you know you'll need to follow a healthy eating/exercise plan

Last night went fine dp was cold and didt fancy going to a display so just bought a few and lit them in the garden. Result I was in bed by 9 with a hot chocolate! 1st bonfire night since I can remember when I didt get sozzled! Jsut had a bath with dc and having a relaxing morn. Roast chicken for tea! I love sober Sunday! X

That was me on about the book club! Misscookie - how are you doing?

Some of us read life after life (which I really really liked) - I found the idea of lots of us reading books quite motivating - although I think I've replaced drinking with reading, which was my first love, and much more satisfying.

Just been for a run, then going to an art gallery with a friend (oooh, get me!)

I love sober sundays too Choc

Starting to really get into this sober life (9 weeks on Tuesday) just wish that I could resolve all the muck ups I made because if drink.

usually I know me too I hate what's happend because of drink. But we can't dwell just enjoy now! Well done on 9 week!

I ment user

Only prob is that drink has cost me my marriage

Oh no sorry to hear that. Don't mean to pry is this recent? Did both of you drink. Whats happend?

No issue chocoholic long story short I drank and was an arse, and a grumpy fecker after it. Think DW had enough. There are other threads which go into it deeper.

Sober Sunday is great. My turn for lie in, had tea in bed with Girl on the train book, nearly finished! Took daughter to Next to choose some sparkly accessories for new bathroom. Going out for a walk soon.Things are good here. Better with DH and anxiety better. Sleeping well. 10 weeks sober ☺☺☺
user can I ask what happened- did he move out? Could you ever reconcile or is it definitely over?

Last night we went to a display. It was really goid, a big irganised one. We got there early, walked through the woods in the dark to get there, had a delicious burger in the cold. The tannoy announced it was an alcohol free event and loads of people booed! I was pleased!

gottaloveI am the (not so dear) DH

I am hoping for a reconciliation but at this stage DW is saying that she doesn't love me, hasn't done for years, although drink seems to have been the main issue (some associated issues too) will post a couple of links to other questions I asked on MN

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/2749523-Alcohol-and-relationship

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2753349-Relationship-after-split-caused-by-alcoholism-and-associated-behavior

Hi user

Just wanted to echo what others said on the other thread - you need to concentrate on why you want to be sober for yourself - any sobriety you achieve to win back your ex-wife is insecure.

Focus on you, ignore all the other things. Get through 6 months of sobriety and then you will be in a place to start thinking about what you want your life to look like..

Ah thanks user. You have taken the most massive step in getting sober. I'm slightly ahead of you (10 weeks alcohol free). I think finnish has it spot on. Give yourself time, make sobriety the priority then who knows what the future could hold?

Had anyone seen the before and after sober pics from bored panda going around Facebook? I can't link on my phone. It's interesting (some stupid comments from heavy drinkers below though!)

Bumped into a lovely friend when we popped into the pub after our family walk. I had a coffee, didn't even think about wine. As we left I noticed she was on her 2nd glass. Was so glad that's not me anymore- having too much wine in the pub in the afternoon, early dinner out, more wine, get home, more wine, shove kids to bed, fall asleep on sofa. Saying that, she probably will stop after 2 glasses.

Used to be similar gotta took an uncle out who is having a few family issues, on way phoned my brother and we went for late lunch/early dinner. They had three beer. I had tea/juice/coffee.

Would have liked the social beer but still enjoyed.

Re sobriety and DW, if there was any sort of hint from her I would be happier with the aituation and it would. Are sobriety that bit easier .....but if things had been perfect I prob wouldn't have looked about getting sober.

I'm being selfish about my sobriety, it would be a difficult choice between sobriety and dw if it came down to it...but I think I might choose sobriety ....there would be no point going back to old ways.

The thing about this sobriety is that everyone told me about DTs withdrawal etc, they never mentioned all this feelings and emotions stuff.

I think I'm ready maybe. Drinking 4 bottles most week sometimes 5. Its a good week if I have 3. Talking wine here.

Ive wanted to cut down/ quite for ages. Last night I drank 2 bottles and can't remember alot of it. Was horrible to Dh and told him I'm an alcholic?!? I don't think I am but do have a drink problem.

I havs health problems so feel crap alot anyway, I justify feeling crap from wine as I feel ill alot anyway. I'm worried about what its doing to me especially my weight.