Dry 15

[glad2016]

For all those sober, or would be sober, warriors. KOKO (keep on keeping on) lovely people :)

One of the best pieces of advice that I read, when I was in the early days of quitting was in a book by Augusten Burroughs called "This is How"
He says that you have to find something that you want, more than you want to drink. I completely buy into that.
It is particularly useful advice when you are at the 6 months stage or when you start to have those conversations with yourself about moderation.
(And that voice, whether we like it or not my friends, is the wine witch, a very manipulative, charming, cunning voice indeed)

For the first time in what seems like ever, I have made the most of the extra hour today. Usually it would have been just an extra hung over hour, I would have had even more wine last night just because of it.
Instead I was up an hour earlier, did a workout then quick shower and changed into my cycling gear and off to support some of my running buddies in a 10K. I cycled the course.
Home, porridge, shower, walk in the woods and now I'm relaxing with a brew and a home made scone that I made last night.

I bloody love life

Finnish I love that you have joined a choir. What a joyful thing to do

for the Wine Witch
Didn't see them until I'd pressed post

I'm fine - made red wine gravy with the wine..

Went out on date night tonight. Was lovely dp asked If I wanted shandy but I didt hesitate just had diet coke with lemon was refeshing. Didn't feel like was missing out people sat around us having big fancy cocktails ect. I just enjoyed my food. Think that's the first time in ages we have enjoyed ourselves, feel happy today. My life can be such a whirlwind recently.

lizzytee - thanks for that, very interesting. I wasn't expecting to feel like that and have not heard others talk much about it before I don't think so glad to know its a recognized "thing"

Misscookie - glad to hear all okay, is he back?

Likeahurricane - interesting post also....I had the WW come knocking quite hard last night which again surprised me as I thought I was well in control. I bet 3 or 6 months down the line is going to be far more testing than I first thought.

Choc - you seem to be getting on well which is great.

Onwards and upwards for a good week everyone X

Heellloo again all.

Ok so dropped off thread and wagon. Drinking habits haven't been too bad by my own standards which isn't impressive. Mainly keeping to the weekend and some nights only a couple of glasses of wine. Then there's nights I have been doing the usual going overboard, opening the second bottle. I've been recording my alcohol free nights the last two months on a habit tracker and this month is creeping up again so time to put a stop to it.

So far I'm looking at it until Christmas, giving myself a manageable period of time and needing all the money I can get right now. Drinking means smoking like a train when I usually don't these days so the money fairly totts up. After Christmas I'll revisit as I'm wanting to go away for my birthday this year so another thing to work for.

Hope everyone is well and keeping on

I had a panic attack yesterday . Today I was very very anxious about doing a presentation at work. I coped ok and my boss congratulated me on doing well. I didn't miss having a drink to celebrate... thought didn't cross my mind! Things are better with DH too. More communication which is a start. I need to sort my head out and stop being so anxious.
choc so pleased your date night went well. likeahurricane wow, you are so positive!

Hi gotta I suffer so much with my anxiety aswel it's horrible. I did try having herbal calms during the day but didt help. I not sure how to kick it. Well done at work!

Hugs gotta, have you spoken to your gp about it? I suffered from generalised anxiety disorder years ago with panic attacks and it was horrid. Wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. They put me on beta blockers and a course of CBT which worked wonders. Does rear it's ugly head the odd time, especially if I'm stressed or feeling ill (or hungover) but nowhere near where it used to be, mainly because I recognise the triggers and ways of dealing with those thoughts.

Hi I'm new here, I really want to stop drinking and could use some support, I'm a long time lurker of MN but this is my first post. I've been drinking at least a bottle of wine every night p for at least the last 15 years, I can have alcohol free days, when family visit etc but if I'm here on my own I can't not have wine. Well, I say on my own I have a young daughter (I know it's terrible that I drink when I'm responsible for her) I really want to stop but I can't!!!!!!!

Welcome half and well done for taking the first step and admitting a problem. No judgement here at all regarding dc so don't beat yourself up about that, I've done it too. Are you ready today and try make it a sober one? What are your triggers times, can you change your routine slightly so alcohol isn't featuring as strongly in your mind? You can do it, you do it at times so it is achieveable Keep posting, it's a lovely supportive thread.

Hi Guys

Day 1 here. Feeling jittery and shakey. Trying to eat some food and sweets and rehydrate.

welcome blue - sweets are def a good thing to get you through the first few weeks.

Have just spent some of my not spent on alcohol money on a yoga mat! My sober treat to myself.

According to the tracker I'm using, with a conservative estimate of the amount I was spending on alcohol, I've saved over £500 so far!

Tattoos - remember, one day at a time - I find, if I plan for 'not drinking till X point' I want to drink way before I get to that point. If I plan to not drink ever, I spin out.

But today, we're not drinking...

Welcome to the thread Half - like the lovely tattoos said, this is a very supportive thread. Post as much as you need to - it really helps, especially in the early days...

Thanks hurricane - joyful is exactly the right word for my choir (well, the word certainly isn't tuneful )

Day 1 here for me. I'm ridiculously anxious and shakey. It's been a white knuckle sort of day. If I don't stop for good this time I will lose my children. I think I've already lost my job. Been to the Drs. Got antidepressant, vitamins and acamprosate. Trying to organise some therapy.Feeling weak (physically) and sick. Managed soup and toast but that's the first thing I've eaten in days. My awful secret is out. I will not drink alcohol today.

Sounds like you've taken some really good steps Blue - be kind to yourself. Remember that things can feel much worse when you are hungover than they are in reality. Not drinking is actually way more fun than feeling like you are feeling now.

You got this

Lots of us have found that meditation and yoga to be really helpful - particulalry the headspace app.

Well done and welcome! Keep on and yes to finding something to replace the compulsion to drink. Also sober treats! lots and lots, to reward you for not drinking. Don't have to be expensive - could be free like having a nice bath or reading for 10 min ...

Thank you guys, very much. I'm tucked in watching rubbish on TV. Can't wait to go to sleep and see the end of the day. Coffee with another AA frien d tomorrow. Only been once but met this fab lady who has been phoning me, checking I'm OK. Think I'll run a bath. Thanks again.

Hi all, thank you for the responses, been a busy day with half term!! I've got wine in the cupboard so tonight will be drinking that, I'm just taking steps to get a plan in place for stopping, it's so scary!!! It's my unwinding, relaxing time once DD is in bed and I really enjoy it (at the time) I don't get drunk and don't really suffer (often) with hangovers but I know it's not a normal thing to do and it's taking its toll on my finances and my looks. (And obviously my health) Every day I say "that's it I'm stopping today but I get to around teatime and start panicking I haven't got wine in the house and herd my DD into the car so I can go to the shop for a bottle (or 2) it's pathetic.

Half

This is how I mostly treated wine over the last 6 years.

Believe us when we say there are many other things you can give yourself as a treat/to unwind, however unlikely it seems.

Some of us have a trigger point - e.g. early evening, and if you can get to a certain time then things are ok.

Think about something you'll do for yourself when your DD is in bed - a sober treat.

Oh and as for triggers....HALT was an eye opener for me;

Hungry
Anxious
Lonely
Tired

If I identified which of these was behind the craving, it made it so much easier to bear.

My trigger is most definitely early evening, once DD in bed and I can't get to the shop I don't crave it, I just get on with my evening. I love love love waking up when I've not drunk, although I do struggle to sleep if I've not had a drink. I just feel so much more refreshed. A phrase that has stuck with me since I read it is "each drink tonight steals a bit of happiness from tomorrow" (sorry, I'm more than likely misquoting) I'm just so bored of it and jealous of people who don't live like this.

Welcome half and blue. This is a wonderful board - you will get loads of support here. We all have different stories and we've all been where you are now. Keep on posting. At this stage focus on self care. You are what matters now, the rest can come later. Rest as much as you can, early nights, warm baths, junky TV, sugar... basically whatever you need in order not to drink. You can do this. It is hard but it is so worth it. Xx

HALT has struck a chord though, I won't eat until I've had a few drinks even if I'm starving, it's like a ritual I have to follow, wine, then I eat late in the evening which makes me tired then I go to bed. If I eat at a sensible hour I find it a lot easier not to drink.

Half have you set a date for when you are going to stop drinking? I stopped when one day I woke up and knew enough was enough and I had to stop. I had been trying to moderate and drink normally (whatever that means) for a long time and it wasn't working. Sticking to that decision particularly in the early days and weeks required lots and lots of planning - especially about how to get through my trigger time which was from about 4.30 until 7.00pm. The better you can plan the stronger and more in control you will be.

Welcome half and blue and if I have missed any new people - a big welcome.

My biggest piece of advice at the moment - look after yourself and make sure you put YOU at the centre of your world - be selfish if you have to, because stopping drinking at first is hard and you’ll need to completely just stop and look after yourself.. because if you were anything like me, you’ve probably been neglecting yourself for a while. I love stylish clothes and makeup - but I mean things like eating properly, exercise, health, meditation, sleep - even now 10 months sober I struggle with these vital things.

In the months before I gave up drinking I was literally running around doing everything for everyone else and putting myself last.. and of course felt awful all the time due to being hung over most days, plus I felt guilty and anxious all the time..
Well one day when I was about 5 months sober and realised I need to start loving myself, showing myself respect and learning how to say NO. That is coming from a very strong headed woman - sometimes we just get caught up in other peoples lives.

Wise words from VXA Drinking alcohol is incredibly habitual as well.. assuming our parents drunk wine with dinner - then we followed as older children - it's a lifetime habit we are breaking.