Dry 15

[glad2016]

For all those sober, or would be sober, warriors. KOKO (keep on keeping on) lovely people :)

Morning all

I am productive, happy daytime me. KOKO

Lovely morning here - bright, cold & pretty. I love Autumn!

The severity of my hangovers is what keeps my slips from turning into slides matron - I suppose it's a blessing in a way. Even relatively small amounts of alcohol now give me a completely sleepless night (despite sleeping tablets), a racing heart (which scares me), anxiety and mood swings for days. I basically can't function. Hangovers used to be a manageable, though painful nuisance but something changed a couple of years ago ( I think it's possibly hormonal) and here I am. Given the state I end up in, you'd think it would be easy to just not drink - but the memory fades, the wine witch whispers, my protective self-care wobbles and I slip...
Am feeling good today though, got some indulgent skincare and haircare stuff as a treat so will be pampering myself this evening. Have you got some sober treats planned?

I'm taxi service until 8.30. Planning to read a book and put one of those callous peals on my flip flop ruined heals.

Quiet today...where is everyone?

Hope everyone is having a good day. I had a meltdown this morning. Overtired kids and husband couldn't be arsed to get out of bed to help. Then I slammed tge car door into DS head by accident anf couldnt stop crying. 3 year old potty training with bad tummy- emptied the potty about 30 times today- and then we had the loudest child in the world round for tea... as her mum collected her she said 'you'll need a gin now' I just laughed as I didn't know what to say.
Need some peace and quiet this evening. Happy with a hot chocolate and early night!

Oh dear gotta I hope you enjoyed the hot chocolate and early night and that today is more peaceful!

Am up early to get DS1 to an activity and in need of strong coffee myself. Can't shake this cold off.

Have a good sober day everyone!

Morning all hope everyone is okay!

Gotta sounds you had a shit morning yesterday so hope the hot chic and early night worked!!

Hope you had a lovely pamper last night Jojo :)

How are you doing Matron?

I went to see The Girl on the Train last night which was FAB and of course made for slightly uncomfortable watching bearing in mind the main character has a drink problem.

Last night was interesting as a friend came for the night and she can be quite hard work - I have known her for 25 years and she's great but is generally very stressy and can be moody. Traffic was bad so she was late, she had a very hard week and earlier in the week she had wanted to cook dinner but I think when it came to it she felt tired and didn't really want to but wouldn't hear of me making it instead (does a martyr very well!) so there was an hour or two of me going sooooo how is your mum? And how's DH? Blah blah blah Whilst I got one word answers back! Normally we have wine but she is trying to lose weight and only really drinks with me these days so was more than happy to forego it but i was not used to that situation. In the end I just ignored her and went on my laptop and as soon as dinner was out the way she was fine and we had a lovely evening but it was s bit touch and go and I was thinking how do I do this without wine?

So another experience/situation got through without it and each time you get through something that you would have worried about it just gets easier and easier.

I mentioned something medical happening which would also curb the mindless evening drinking - well this was supposed to happen in a few weeks but doctor bought it forward and it happened this week so that really dies mean for the best part of a year I am going to have very limited opportunities to be quaffing sugary drinks.

My mantra, just think of today and don't give any thought to the length of time this will take or how hard "this or that situation" will be just KOKO.

Happy days one and all xx

Hot chOc!!!!!! Gotta ha ha ha!

Morning all

I've come down with something and feel awful physically as well as being grumpy. DH suggested a brandy last night but I was too sick to face it thank goodness! A stiff brandy and port is the go to remedy in our family.

Slept long and fitfully.

gotta it's rotten when you dint your own children by accident. I remember a car door on fingers incident that still makes me shudder. Children do have a habit of poking body parts back out of the car door! X

Day 7 for me 😀

Well done lou on another potential drinking situation negotiated successfully!

Am feeling crappy too matron and extremely irritable with my family and life this afternoon. Not in any actual danger of drinking but I would love to escape.

jojo I think many of us would like an escape and it's hard to face up to life without an escape tunnel... I'm finding it easier now because I'm slowly developing coping strategies but definitely have moments e.g. yesterday morning sobbing on my driveway. Feel better now and DS has completely forgotten about it.
Today went to see MIL which would normally involve a boozy lunch but we went to a fast food place so I didn't have to explain about soft drinks. I survived! Nice restful evening and am going on a forest walk tomorrow. Fresh air and calm surroundings help my mood. House is a top as we are having work done but I'm learning to leave the mess and concentrate on important stuff e.g. spending time with the kids, cooking wholesome food, relaxing and general self care. You can't put on anyone else's oxygen mask until your own is on (or something like that anyway!)

House is a TIP I mean.

Iv done it. I'm drunk. Hate myself abt deal with hoe I feel sorry iv let u all down

choc you haven't let anyone down! Don't beat yourself up. Can you describe what happened? I'm off for a swim now but will check in later. Take care x

I just has it on my mind and couldn't shake it off I started in the afternoon and drank till early hours this morn, I drank into oblivion far too much not had any sleep..I'm so annoyed with myself. Hate this feeling again!

choc it's done now, just try and keep this as a slip not a slide. Also perhaps write down how you're feeling somewhere that you can look back at next time you're tempted. I have done this on a few horrible, hungover mornings and it's stopped me in my tracks a few times.

Hope you're feeling better matron - I'm still grotty but off to WW this morning so fingers crossed for another lb off.

jojo did you get the 1lb?

choc we all slip along the way the trick is to rein it straight back in. This is something I am yet to manage. I had that brandy last night. Today is my first attempt at stopping right there.

Back to a miserable day 1 when I could have been day 8. So cross with myself. Ho hum. History tells me I will either have learnt from this pattern or I disappear back into drinking habits.

Once more back into the trenches.

And choc if I can be welcomed back to this thread after my past weak resolve then it's a sure sign that you will continue to be supported xx

I did - 2 lbs in fact so that's 9 off in total, v. pleased with myself.

Am aware it's half term this week though - I think I have crumbled every half term/school holiday this year in terms of food and drink so hmmm...must try harder this week!!

You CAN just stop at that one medicinal brandy matron and not slide off the cliff. Dig in, climb back up and put it behind you. You don't want to drink anymore - re-affirm all the reasons that are making you want to stop. Do some exercise if you're feeling better, get the endorphins going and reward yourself in a sober way. Start this week as you mean to go on.

Am about to take my two to the park - it's cold but bright - am hoping some fresh air will invigorate me!!

How are you doing choc and everyone else?

2lbs! You have got to be happy with that 😀

I'm making plans for later and feel in good positive mind. choc are you ok?

No im not ok feel ill and rotten got rid of all traces of alcohol from my house.
Today is my new day one. Need some rest. Why oh why did I drink again im Going to get wrapped up in my dressing gown. Try to sort my head out. I hate today.

Tomorrow is a new day choc.

matron well done on your 2lbs!

Im pissed off because DH is not taking potty training seriously and then makes me feel bad and boring for enforcing it. He just puts him back in nappies when im not there- took daughter to a party this afternoon. He was in the pub with him most of the time which i dont really like. Have gone for a lie down ... Tired of them all tbh!

Feeling very sorry for myself I know I never want to feel like this again.
Feel like iv lost control of myself again. I really don't want to drink again.

This is a fresh start choc, you need to forgive yourself and gently move on. Do you have any sober treats in?

I'm in bed. Had enough of today. On paper it was a lovely day but I just feel crap. Maybe PAWS. Headache and short tempered. Purring cat on my bed is the only company I want. KOKO all x

That's good then Choc - you tried it and learnt it wasn't for you. You can now move on and not drink again.

I'm feeling very much mixed about not drinking at the moment - the classic 6 months in getting bored and cocky phase, I believe. Could do with some pointers from those that have worked through this bit...