Dry 15

[glad2016]

For all those sober, or would be sober, warriors. KOKO (keep on keeping on) lovely people :)

finnish I can't help I'm afraid as never got as far as you so well done for getting this far!

What we all know though is that it won't end in "moderation" will it? And do you really want that? I find what helps me sometimes is to go and read the Brave Babes thread. It started off many years ago from someone who bravely went Dry and to my knowledge is still dry. Over the years the followers of the thread have convinced themselves they can "moderate" and the thread is supposed to be in support of said moderation. But read it for a couple of weeks and you will see it is painfully exhausting and not really moderation at all...it might really help make your mind up about what you want for the future.

Good luck

Well that went surprisingly well. Have I stopped the Saturday brandy from becoming a landslide. So far so good, but I'm so smug at managing it I feel like a glass of wine as a reward

Don't do it matron!!

I'd bloody love some wine myself though. I won't because I know it's not the wine I want just the 'escape' it seems to offer. Very drained today and feeling ill, sad and low .

Choc, hope you are ok. You're doing well, you know you are.

I still don't quite know where I want to be.

What I do know is that I don't want to go back to daily drinking.

On holiday at the moment at a resort hotel, both DH and I noticed how many people were having a glass of fizz with breakfast (this would be around 8.30-10.00) No-one rowdy or falling about but it did make me wonder how many people spend their holiday quietly sozzled.

Hi yes I'm ok. Feeling very tired tonight tho. Me and my dp are mad at ourself and I of course blamed him coz he has had more slipps then Me..I know it was Me and I'm the one that poured alcohol down my throat. may be it was because i knew i not had any for a while id be ok.. that is not case.
Anxiety is back..I know it will pass, one thing tho dc have been well behaved maybe they can pick up on my sad mood.
What do you mean by sober treats?

Thanks everyone for being there yesterday x

Here is a list of sober treats I like- others may add more:
Sweet treat e.g. chocolate or ice cream
Homemade milkshake or smoothie
Long soak in the bath
Having nails done or DIY pedicure
Face mask
Wrapping up in a blanket with a hot choc and marshmallows
Pancakes for breakfast
Walk on my own
Trashy magazine to read

So, some are edible, some cost nothing, but all are about self care and nurturing.

lizzytee hope you're enjoying your holiday. I actually quit drinking halfway through my holiday in August. During the second week my perceptions of others drinking around me shifted significantly which was quite interesting. I realised they weren't happier or more relaxed than me. Drinking with breakfast: seems a bit absurd now but I did it in the first week!

Iv just had a toffee apple then some chocolate. I do think I need to go a bit healthier as I have probably been eating too much junk and crap recently.Then I could probably see them as treats. But yeah I should find time to do my nails or face pack ect. I do need to look after myself, I'm ALWAYS ill and then it comes out on my skin then feel and look crappy. Small steps and I'm going to try be positive. That drink of booze has set me back quite a bit.

Thanks lou - you've reminded me that I hovered between brave babes and dry threads for ages, trying to work out which way was the best for me - and you're right - they never made moderation look like fun!

it's an excellent suggestion and I'll try that.

KOKO

Finnish congratulations on getting to 6 months, that's absolutely fantastic!
I have been where you are now, it's potentially a dangerous time but what is significant is that you have recognised it as such. You've won the first battle just by doing that. I think that it's important to find something, or remind yourself that you have already found something that you want more than you want to drink. That might be something as simple as waking up with a clear head, or more time to indulge a hobby, a passion, self worth, mindfulness, yoga etc....
If you haven't already, it might be time to be open with a trusted friend? So that you're accountable maybe?
It is a small but very significant bump in the road, get over it and you'll soon be fine again. It will get better and before you know it you will be a non drinker without having to remind yourself that you are....it will just be your new normal, a small part of who you are along with all the other things that make you.....you
I hope that's not confusing?
We can't moderate Finnish. Nor can a lot of other people, but they haven't admitted it to themselves yet. You're strong, you can do this.

Lots of reading too, Sobermummy blog, Vxa's blog etc...

KOKO, you've got this

Finnish My advice about moderation? Don't try it!
I thought I could and ended up drinking just as much as before, for two months, before I got back onto the sober track again.
As Belle says - if you have sober momentum, don't fuck with it!
Other people can take a drink or leave it, or just have one.
We can't.
We have all been trying moderation for years, we just didn't call it that - and we all seem unable to do it. That is the point.

LOADS of sober treats worked for me, made me feel like I was worth looking after ( I am, but it took a bit to realize that I was!)
if we lapse we need to try differently, not harder - more sober treats, more sober blogs, meetings, podcasts, therapy, medical help - whatever it takes to help us stay sober. Its worth it.

Thanks sobersarah and Hurricane.

A timely reminder to to do the work, and that it's as important after 4 months as after 4 weeks or 4 days.

I love that list of sober treats gotta. I think it was 300 days yesterday for us hurricane.? I'm finding things much easier having now survived most types of occasions and situations without a drink. Just Christmas Day to navigate now. Keep up the good work everyone x

Well done absolute beginner. Your name isn't very apt these days! Great work!
today my sober treat is breakfast in bed on my own (I did have to make it myself but you cant have everything ). DH is off work today so he's doing the bum wiping and tantrum calming for a couple of hours. I have loads of chores to do but am ignoring those and pratting about on mn instead.
I had some thoughts creeping in yesterday about drinking again. Saw them off by sniffing DHs wine bottle (yes). I nearly threw up. It's much stronger smelling than I remember. Cup of tea much nicer

Iv woke up feeling quite sad and lonely. I feel quite sad about my life in 1 way but then selfish bca use I have 2 adorable dc which can be testing and a dp but no true friends. I do quite isolate myself from people because a lot of them find fun in drink and that's what leads me into bother. I don't know need to be happy. Need to sort my life out. How do I do this. Sorry I'm just thinking out loud but any pointers will be good.

choc Have you tried using Headspace? Won't fix external issues, but very helpful generally and also a calmer mind can look at things more, well, calmly? Iykwim?
Have a hug xxx

Iv just had a look at that, will look again later when I have some quiet, thanks!
Just planned a meal out for me and my dp for the wend, just something to look nice for and look forwards to not worried about drinking as he will be driving and we are eating so we don't put the two together.
Had a afternoon bath put dc in room with a film so I could relax a little, going to have a nice little coffee then get on with the rest of the day. Hope everyone else is ok. X

Well done choc, sounds good to me!

Watched the sunset from hotel terrace with an ice cold lime & soda. It was lovely.

Thanks everyone - Especially sober and Hurricane

Today, I was running in the autumn sun, and it occurred to me that I like 95% of being sober (just soetimes miss the fuck it, let's not care button) - and I'd grown to hate 95% f my drinking (because I was so amashed of it, I no longer enjoyed it)

Why would I go back to that? It has so helped writing and 'talking' about it to you lot - I was very close to sneaking off and quietly drinking next weekend. Now I feel happy with my decision to stop drinking. You guys are great.

Choc - my current system is to say yes to social activities that occur to me to do... I've ended up doing some very not 'me' things - but that's fine - I've actually become very fond of the thing that seemed the most random to join at the time.

Any one seen one around...?

Waves back at lizzy

I'm feeling better then I did this morn. But I really really don't want to drink again. How and what do you do if yu ever get the urge I thought I could deal with it when dp drank and I didt but then I just caved in.
I don't want to keep off for a few month then drink again. I keep making myself promise that I won't drink and must stick to it. I just must!

choc when I get a craving I check in here or do something different and out of routine as a distraction. I'm making pancakes at the moment. Because, why not?!

Finnish I would love to know what that random thing you have joined is......(nosey)
Absolute over 300 days! We are pretty f*ing awesome aren't we?
Remember buddy, you've already done a NYE sober.....Christmas Day will be just fine. The best gift you could possibly give to yourself actually and at least I won't fall down the stairs again!

Congratulations on your 300 😀

Went to lovely restaurant had a non-alcoholic cocktail that was delicious. I'm huffing and puffing but really want to learn how to manage slips without descending into oblivion for weeks on end.

Each time I commit to being dry I need to have learnt from the previous time or it's futile. I have been building and shaping an alcohol free life for the last year but it seems more steps are needed.

I have stripped a lot of temptation and triggers out of my life but it's mostly been external it's the inside me stuff that needs sorting. Sigh.

I joined a singing group! Am very shocked, as I can't actually sing. But I'm really loving it.

Good for you Finnish! Enjoy it!
Sigh...I appear to be in full blown anxiety mode. Not felt right for about a week now. Thankfully DH has taken kids out for the day as I'm not coping very well. I won't drink but am so irritable and stressed over everything. Really need to relax.