is my dp cheating?

[imconfused]

ive changed my name for this.

last night dp said he was going to pick his male friend up from stanstead airport. he left around 20.30 and came home around 2am

well i know i shouldnt have but i went through his phone about 20 minutes ago. ive found texts from a girl asking when they should meet and also asking him where he is. he wrote texts confirming that he had arrived at the carpark. these texts were written before he left the house last night and the first hour after he left.

i found another text saying something about enjoying the kiss. im so confused!

he's downstairs at the mo trying to sell his car i will ask when he comes in

its a pity you cant get hold of HIS mobile to call this number again.... She may answer differently if she sees his name flash up as the caller!

or better still get a male friend or relative to phone her number and pretend to be him.

Message withdrawn

I have been here, on both sides of the situation. Please don't act hastily.

There is absolutely no doubt that something fishy is going on. Do not get sucked in to trying to unravel exactly what happened where and when or what are lies and what is truth. You will just get tied up in knots. You need to take Littlestar's advice, step back and do some thinking.

This could just be a silly flirtation, or it could be a full-blown affair. How do you feel about your relationship in either case? do you want to try to save it, or is this the last straw?

For sure, he is doing this because he is un happy for some reason. It might be a bad reason (misses the thrill of the chase) or it might be a more understandable reason (feels neglected because of new baby or whatever). Any ideas?

This is between you and him, not you and her. Leave her out of it, it will only end in anger and loss of control and complete loss of trust forever. Focus on your relationship with him.

This could just be a slly flirtation - do NOT blow it out of proportion, if you plan to stay together forever you will have plenty of storms to weather: this might be a rough and unexpected one, but don't let it take over your life.

Good luck

Excellent advice didisaythat

IC I hope you're ok xx

Everything ok??

Hows everything going?
Did you speak to him again? Has everything been resolved or are you still confussed?

bump

hey, everythings been resolved here, deep down i know he hasnt cheated, i know how much we all mean to him and he wouldnt jeapordise(sp?) that for a silly fling. everythings been explained and i understand things now porperly. thankyou everyone for your help and concern, really really appreciate it.

He's hacked into her account, this is him writing to put us off the scent. #looks around with eyes narrowed suspiciously#

Sounds well dodgy to me.

What was his 'explanation'?

The bit about enjoying the kiss could not possibly explained away...could it?

lol Annie

the text about the kiss is the one that really got me thinking.

but the text was written on saturday, talking about the kiss from friday night, but dp didnt go out friday night he was at hime, he went out saturday night

So all those texts were in fact her army hubs texting her from your blokes phone, nothing to do with your bloke? If thats so, and army man were in UK to be texting, why did your hub have to go to airport?

imconfused I truly hope you're ok and you are happy with of the answers to those questions you raised - especially those that 1sue1 has just mentionned.
You said there was a text from DP to the girl saying when he was free, and you were confused as the army friend didn't have the same days off as dp - well if he's home from the army surely he should have every day off?? Did DP explain that to you? And the text to 'Nat' from someone saying the kiss had such an effect that they can't think straight?! Doesn't sound like it's from his army mate to his DW?? Did you at least confirm when the army friend was/wasn't home, that his dp is called Nat etc.

I'm guessing you're exhausted with it all and just want to put it all behind you now.

I hope dp realises just how much you've been through due to him being secertive and not communicating openly with you about everything that's going on in his life. (I hope you now have all of his phone numbers too.) And I hope he stops working late and starts giving you and dc's all of the love and attention you deserve.

Imconfused: i am so sorry for you. The whole situation sounds horrid and pretty shifty.
From my experience they can't help but lie and try to get themselves out of it.
I have never posted a message before but felt compelled upon reading this, and reading SO many accounts of lies and deception and cheating. Why are so many men (bad) liars and cheats? And if they are going to do it, why are they SO dumb with text messages?
Hmm. All very raw as only found myself in very similar awful odd lie-filled situation with DP last week. 21 weeks pregnant lots of hormones, on my own mostly as we were in the process of moving 300 miles away when we found out i was pregnant so i have stayed here in old job until Mat leave starts(ironically, cheating girl lives here too, not in new place!). It is SO easy to try and sweep it all under the carpet to make the pain go away, but you must find out the truth so you can move on. it is unbearable.
I agree with what others have said, keep delving and try to get the truth for your own sanity but remember what YOU want in the longterm and keep you eye on that. Be as selfish as you need to make things work out for you.
kisses