is my dp cheating?

[imconfused]

ive changed my name for this.

last night dp said he was going to pick his male friend up from stanstead airport. he left around 20.30 and came home around 2am

well i know i shouldnt have but i went through his phone about 20 minutes ago. ive found texts from a girl asking when they should meet and also asking him where he is. he wrote texts confirming that he had arrived at the carpark. these texts were written before he left the house last night and the first hour after he left.

i found another text saying something about enjoying the kiss. im so confused!

he's downstairs at the mo trying to sell his car i will ask when he comes in

Let us know how you get on if you are able to. Must be awful feeling.

hope you are okay xx

I hope you're ok imconfused. Thinking about you xx

well i confronted him, im even more confused than before.

he said that it was his friends wife following him to airport. i thought them two had separated soon after getting married due to her keeping things from him.

he had to go out, he said he'd explain when he came back, i asked him about the kissing text and he said he doesnt know about, will have to grill him on that. i had her number on my phone and said i'd phone her if he didnt give a proper explanation and he said that i shouldnt as theres a lot of personal stuff happening.

when ive finished grilling him about everything i'll get back on it

Don't let him fob you off imconfused - I know it's hard - but the more time he has to think the more time he'll have to come up with excuses / get her to back up his story.

You're doing really well, stay strong.

But don't let him mess you about. Please xxx

hmmm

I would like to believe it and am sure you would too and it would perhaps make sense..but you need to talk it through a bit more to stop all the questions going around in your mind.

And obviously about the kiss.

Take care xx

Sound like a panic lie and he's going to come up with soemthing better.
Would be unusual for him to readily tell the truth at first confrontation. I'm sos orry but what's he's said isn't ringing at all true.

Why did she follow them to the airport?
Doesn't explain the message re the kiss even slightly.

'explain when gets back', or give himself time to make up something believable?

I'm angry for you.

It all sounds very peculiar to me.

If his mate's girlfriend was following him to the airport then I presume she wasn't on foot and therefore, why did it need 2 of them to go and pick him up ?

In fact, it sounds like a load of rot.

He "doesn't know" about the kissing text, yet warns you off ringing that number ???!!!

I feel so angry for you .... I have been through similar years ago and was actually told I must be having a nervous breakdown and imagining things. I got the whole range of stupid excuses ranging from "aren't I allowed to have female friends" to "nothing happened" .... when of course it had. And my imagination was certainly not working overtime when I found written evidence. My ex kept me in a state of worry, hurt and feeling, literally, sick, for well over a year. Needless to say, once I had final proof he was history ...... the deed was bad enough but the lies on top heaped insult to injury .... I was treated as if I was thick and stupid and that's what really really hurt most.

Why are people having affairs so effing selfish and cowardly ? No doubt his brain will be working overtime right now trying to concoct some plausible story. Did he really have to go out, or is he avoiding the issue ?

I would ring the number. In fact I would ring it now rather than waiting for him to get back so he doesn?t have time to warn the person whose number it is. If it?s just a friend who he?s helping through some personal stuff she will understand your suspicion and will be happy to explain to you I?m sure.

Sounds like he?s gone out because he?s been backed into a corner. He?s panicking because he?s been caught and he needs to think up something plausible.

Ring the number now.

Hmmm.

So sorry this is happening.

FWIW I agree with what others have said. It makes no sense to follow his wife/her follow your DP to the airport. Why was he needed there at all then? Feigning ignorance and not wanting you to act on anything sounds right dodgy.

If there was nothing to worry about, then, I would have thought he would have hung about to reassure you etc, instead of going straight out.

I'd be devastated if DP thought I was having an affair but I wasnt. I'd want to hang about to make sure he knew damn well I wasnt.

I went through the same with my ex, he lied to me when I confronted him about texts and so when I he left for work I called the number straight away and said, 'are you f*ing my husband?' If I had not done that I probably would not have found out the truth. He has to lie to save his neck, so don't trust a word he says.

Call the number, seriously, then you have a better idea what is the truth. He owes you that.

Agree totally with VVV.

And FWIW I'd ring the number too.

isolde76- did 'she' answer then, and tell you everything?

Yes, she was backed into a corner. I lied and said 'I have seen your texts and he has told me everything', to make sure I heard it come out of her mouth. She was a 24 year old virgin (he was 40) and they had sex once. Funnily enough, soon after, my ex grabbed the phone from her (must have met each other at the station) and got angry that I had the audacity to call (but then, he made out like everything was my fault - he also is a Narcissist).

Seriously seriously, make the call. Bluff to her if you have to. I made a similar phone call shortly after to an old 'colleague' of my exes and said I was planning to leave him anyway, and could she please tell me if anything happened, and she said a three year on off affair took place.

Get your head clear ready to confront him.

The evidence:

you found texts from a girl asking when they should meet and also asking him where he is. he wrote texts confirming that he had arrived at the carpark. - WHY WAS SHE TEXTING HIM WHEN HE WAS THE ONE DRIVING IF SHE WAS MEETING THEM BOTH WHY WASN'T SHE TEXTING THE PASSENGER. WHAT WAS HER BUSINESS AT THE AIRPORT, IF IT WAS TO SEE THE GUY GOING OFF THEN SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN TEXTING HIM NOT YOUR DP. WHY DOES SHE HAVE DP'S NUMBER AT ALL?

he's male friend who he said he was going to pick up is in the army. he only went back 3 weeks ago and comes home after 3-6 months
he said that it was his friends wife following him to airport. i thought them two had separated soon after getting married due to her keeping things from him.

this is the txt he write on the 26th
' hi nat thanks for your tex. i really enjoyed last night and that kiss seems to have some kind of effect on me. i just cant think straight.' GET HIM TO TRY EXPLAINING HIS WAY OUT OF THAT. HE REALLY ENJOYED THE NIGHT AND THE KISS HAS HAD SOME SORT OF EFFECT

he's been coming home late even though he has an early start in the morning

friday he went out and i went bed around 1.30am, both had work in the morning. he said he came in around 1.30-2.00 am but i was still awake around then as i was giving ds a dreamfeed.

I'm so sorry, I hope you're ok

Call number, if it was nothing he would have no problem you ringing! Must be hard for you but not nice to be with someone cheating on you especially when you have his children, How awful, you dont need that. He is obvioulsy getting best of both worlds here!

Please dont let him fob you off. Tell himi to give you some space and get him out the house for afew days, that will give him someting to think about and you can sort your head out.

Was it meant to be his friend texting from his your husbands phone then? Where did he go? Has he gone to see her and explain you know? I would follow him! Ring him (withhold number) and see if he answers and if you can suss out where he is! Typical man to fuck off out and leave you left in limbo! aghhhhh
Really feeling for you.
Please let us know if you ok and what happened.

Like teecee says et evidence. Write it down and you will have it clear. Hand him the paper and get him to read it out loud to you and get him to explain it!

Yes, that's a point - you must call before he gets to her, if this is the scenario. otherwise he will tell her what to tell you. I am so very upset and angry for you. Just remember that HE is in the wrong, not you.

Have to say if he ran outjust after you confronted him and he is cheating he would have gone straight to see her or call her in private to get stories straight.

In general I would say that all men will lie for a long as they can until the evidence is too strong and they can no long wriggle out of it.

Also have a plan in your head about what you're going to do if it all does come out that he has cheated. Think about what you want next. Think about what you'll do if it was 'just' a kiss and hasn't led anywhere else, yet. What then?

Be strong. However bad it seems now, it will all be ok in the end. What's the worst that can happen? You dscover he's the sort to cheat, so you get him out of your life and then meet the real man of your dreams a while later and live happily ever after.

I think back to Spook and how devestated she was when she dicovered her husband had been cheating. It floored her. Just a short while later she's happier than she's ever been withan amazing man she's in love with and her life is great.

If his BF' wife was following your DP, why did he need tp pick up his mate??
All a bit suss to me

Hmmm.

I've been on the receiving end of a lying, cheating b*stard too. I believed every excuse in the book and couldn't see the truth, unfortch.

It happened on two separate occasions, 3 years apart. He left me devastated but I made it back.

I'd say the first single year was hard to take, then I had almost 2 fab years with just me and the DTS and then a wonderful, wonderful man walked into my life.

Think carefully and digest his words before making any rash decisions.

Your heart knows the truth, even if your head doesn't want to know.

Keep posting and stay strong XXX

guys i dont know what to believe, he says that the sim in the phone is his friend's, it doesnt add up, because in one of the text it is dp telling that girl when he is free, im sure his friend doesnt have them same days off as him as he's away in the army. aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh

im waiting for dd to go bed before anymore confrontation, i got a bit upset earlier and i dont want her and ds to see all that.

must say I don't belive him either . I have been in your shoes nearly two years ago.Found out by texts too. We are all here to support you. I am sorry this is happening to you XXXXXX

Are the texts even stored on the SIM? (Normally they aren't). If it's his friend's SIM, when you dial dp's mobile number, the phone won't ring.