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Original poster

is my dp cheating?

115 replies

imconfused · 31/01/2007 11:13

ive changed my name for this.

last night dp said he was going to pick his male friend up from stanstead airport. he left around 20.30 and came home around 2am

well i know i shouldnt have but i went through his phone about 20 minutes ago. ive found texts from a girl asking when they should meet and also asking him where he is. he wrote texts confirming that he had arrived at the carpark. these texts were written before he left the house last night and the first hour after he left.

i found another text saying something about enjoying the kiss. im so confused!

he's downstairs at the mo trying to sell his car i will ask when he comes in

OP posts:
Original poster
imconfused · 31/01/2007 19:07

my dp has couple of phones, thats the phone i dont know the number to

OP posts:
PoppiesMum · 31/01/2007 19:08

He says that the sim in his phone is his friends?????????????????? That just reminds me of when my Mum caught me with ciggies in my pocket when I was at school and I claimed I was looking after them for a friend!

I really hope there is an innocent explaination for your sake, but honestly, it doesn't look good

Don't be fobbed off.

overdraft · 31/01/2007 19:08

why hasn't his freind got the phone then?

tribpot · 31/01/2007 19:09

Are there any other texts which are quite clearly from him (i.e. inane things like my work texts "I will be 10 mins late to meeting" etc). I assume the second phone is dp's work phone, why would anyone need a personal mobile that his dp didn't know the number for

Whilst you've got the phone, call your mobile from it, so that you at least have the number for future reference.

Socci · 31/01/2007 19:11

Message withdrawn

bubblebell1 · 31/01/2007 19:11

im sorry but i think your dh is lying. he is using the oldest trick in the book and unfortunatly it normally works. he will make out it is someone else sim card, the phone is not working or a claim it was rogue text. you will want to believe him because you wont understand how anyone could treat you like this let alone someone who is supposed to love you.

i am really really sorry and reccommed calling the number and asking her about it. altho by you pre warning ur dh he may of called and warned her.

my xdh was the same one valentines day morning he got a phone call. he rejected it then hid his phone it rang again from the wardrobe plonker forgot to turn it off. i answered and it was a woman.

she had the cheek to ask who i was! er his wife!! needless to say he denied it and it took me actually speaking to the girl on the phone in front of him for him to admit to it!!

tossers!!

catsmother · 31/01/2007 19:12

Poor you ..... it's so unfair that you're being treated like this. Why would he swap his SIM card with his friend ? And if that is true, why didn't he tell you this straight away when you asked him the very 1st time ?

As you say, one of the messages is clearly from your DP to an unknown woman ...... and secondly, I'm still wondering why you were warned off ringing that number ? If it was his friend's SIM, why would he do that ..... he would surely say "oh, I swapped SIMs (for some god knows what reason) and those aren't my messages. If you call that number they'll have no idea what you're on about".

"Friends" come in vey handy when people are having affairs I'm afraid. Long ago I found my ex had booked 2 plane tickets to Scotland and was told that one was for a (male) friend ...... of course that turned out to be bullshit. So were all the weekends that he was apparently going away on a "lad's" golf or racing weekend. I noticed that most of a large packet of condoms (which had been kept in the back of a drawer forever) had gone and when asked, my ex said he'd given them to his brother when he'd stayed (for one night ..... as if his brother would ask, and I didn't remember him even going out FFS!)

You clearly need to have this out with him once and for all when the kids are in bed. Does he have an email account - my suspicious mind is wondering if there might be more stuff there perhaps. How does he explain getting back so late from the airport ..... a 5-6 hour trip ??? Does that seem realistic from where you live ? This mate he "collected" ..... why don't you call him ? ..... I wonder if he's home at all, given army leave is usually not so soon.

I'm assuming you didn't ring that number ?

PoppiesMum · 31/01/2007 19:14

Does his mobile phone bill come to the house? What about the one you don't know about - where does that bill get sent? (Assuming he's on a contract that is - by the sound of it his second phone will be pay as you go )

catsmother · 31/01/2007 19:15

Hold on ..... this man is your partner and the father of your children and he has another phone to which you don't even know the number.

Why on earth don't you have that number ?

Original poster
imconfused · 31/01/2007 19:15

he always had quite a few, he loves phones. one is his payg and he has 2 contracts. i dont question his many phones because i know how he loves them. obviously because i trusted him, i didnt care to have all his numbers

OP posts:
tribpot · 31/01/2007 19:17

Hmm, I have a gadget freak of a dh and even when he was earning lots of dosh, he never had more than one phone. Still strikes me as a bit odd, but anyway. Are you going to call the number and see what happens?

Socci · 31/01/2007 19:18

Message withdrawn

catsmother · 31/01/2007 19:18

I don't think knowing all someone's numbers is necessarily an issue of trust but one of simple practicality.

If you needed him urgently - say, re: one of the children being ill - it makes sense to have as many avenues as possible with which to try and contact him, just in case one mobile is out of battery, out of credit or out of range, or whatever.

I understand why some men (usually) want to surround themselves with gadgetry but not why he wouldn't give you all possible numbers.

PoppiesMum · 31/01/2007 19:20

How far away is the airport he claims he was going to last night?

I think given the replies that you have had on here, that the general concensus is that your dp isn't being truthful wih you and is saying whatever he needs to say in order to cover his back.

Original poster
imconfused · 31/01/2007 19:21

well we live se london so maybe 1 and a half

OP posts:
tribpot · 31/01/2007 19:22

Heck Socci - I've got two, but at least one is work and one is personal! I assume you mean having more than one personal mobile. I don't know anyone who has two, unless in the process of porting a number from one network to another.

catsmother · 31/01/2007 19:24

BTW, I hope you don't think I was getting at you ..... I know you must be feeling beyond awful right now.

I really hope there is an innocent explanation behind all this, but I'd like to know what it is. As someone said previously, if I'd been accused of being up to something, I'd want to make damn sure my partner was reassured that I hadn't been right there and then without disappearing. If I'd inadvertently done something which led them to believe that I'd feel mortified and want to sort it out immediately.

Unfortunately, so much of what you're saying rings a bell for those of us who have been through similar ..... I just feel very sad and very angry for you. All the (seemingly so far) ridiculous "excuses" are really very insulting, I just wish people could be honest when they get caught out instead of prolonging the agony of not knowing what the heck's going on with stupid remarks and lies.

Original poster
imconfused · 31/01/2007 19:24

even before i got with dp i knew he was obsessed with phones and can talk a lot. anyways i better go and get kids ready for bed and get ready for more of dps explanations

OP posts:
catsmother · 31/01/2007 19:25

Good luck.

Original poster
imconfused · 31/01/2007 19:27

when he came back home before i confronted him, i knew he had to rush out because he only has wednesdays to sort his cars out to sell so he wasnt really rushing because i confronted him. he's like this every wednesdays

OP posts:
overdraft · 31/01/2007 19:27

we are hear when you need us hun X

Socci · 31/01/2007 19:28

Message withdrawn

ginnedupmummy · 31/01/2007 19:52

Message withdrawn

justJAM · 31/01/2007 19:59

for you - like everyone has already said it doesn't sound good I'm afraid, you must feel sick...hope he is being honest with you at least x

FatFikAndFugly · 31/01/2007 20:04

Phone the other woman. I know two women that have met up with the other woman and discussed things. one new that he was attached, one didn't.. she took her round to their house and they were both waiting for him when he came home from work.

Sorry but I think he's lying through his teeth, I hope you've got the number he was texting.

Tosser.