Contacting the OW

[user1471855583]

A few months ago I found out that DH had been having an affair. Our marriage was in trouble l and I understand the reasons why, and we have both worked really hard on our marriage, been to Relate etc and our relationship has massively improved.
However I still have huge feelings of RAGE towards the OW - I have never met her but I expect to bump into her at some point as she is relatively local to us. I am pretty sure she has been stalking me on social media - I have blocked her on everything but before I blocked her on instagram she was doing this weird thing of mimicking my posts and hashtags. DH is no longer in touch with her but I don't feel like I can move on completely until I have confronted her. I don't feel like I can let go of my anger until I have done this. My friends all say that this is a bad idea and that I should just move on. Has anyone who has been in a similar position done this, and has it made things better, or worse?

I think as well everyone here is assuming that all OW are the same, which I don't think is the case. They are a hugely varied group of women, with a massively different set of reasons and situations and therefore responses to the whole thing which is why I think it's dangerous to predict what will happen.

Some maybe never wanted a relationship, some didn't know MM was married, some might have massive issues of their own - I knew a very messed up woman who's H was a very abusive alcoholic and she ended up having an affair with a MM because he gave her a bit of respite from total hell and she had no plan. And sometimes affairs do turn into relationships that work. Not often, but while MN likes to think that no MM ever leaves for OW and makes it work, IRL it does happen sometimes.

And we can't really generalise and say "they will do this". They might. They might not. I know there is a very well established 'script' on MN that everyone likes to think these things always stick to, but IRL I've never seen that happen.