AIBU to suggest that *AnyFucker* and *StillDrSethHazlittMD* get a room?

[ItShouldHaveBeenJess]

Because there's something going on there....

Also think Still should shorten his user-name. Tis too long....

Crone Sadly, it is a one-person craft. I could tow you a bit like a waterski?

Cool, even tie me a doughnut ring at the back

I can't swim. I'm also fat so if I wedge myself into a doughnut ring and tie that to the back I should be OK yeah?

Can I do a Rose and Jack on the front of your glorified body board, Seth?

Of course, if there's no wind, we're buggered.

Jess will provide the wind

AF As long as you don't mind being pitched headfirst into the water. That's not casting nasturtiums on your weight, it's to do with the balance. Always quite good fun getting the boat back up again and climbing back in soaking wet.

What, you mean with all her flouncing?

AF and what orifice am I to be providing this 'wind' from?

Are you bringing the du Pape, Buffers ?

I say, we shall be properly spoilt. No White Diamond for us this evening.

I don't like getting my face wet. I do this stupid reflex of breathing in when under water. I shall drown one day.

You choose, Jess.

Anyfucker

I will save you

I did have to be fished from the bottom of a swimming pool when I was 8.

Ooh I just knew AF would have to be in the front

Also HerRoyal I'm well lardy, if we're both on the back in a doughnut, will we not upend the boat?

We need a logistical planner

Well we need to stick someone fatter than us up front with AF

Actually, I might just hold everyone's coats while you go off sailing. And slug all the

AF. Fished? With a scoop net?

Rescued. By a lifeguard. I nearly drownded.

HerRoyal. That will be me, then

jess I doubt it. I'm a 15 stone ball of flab. Seriously. If I was murdered right now my chalk outline would be a circle.

Maybe if we get the goat, the hedgehogs and a couple of slight ones it'll all work out in the end!

we won't leave AF with all the Gin though

AF Apologies. Was said lifeguard 'well-fit' in order to make up for hideous experience?

I don't know. I was only 8