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Am I right to be suspicious?

83 replies

WillIEverBeASizeTen · 04/08/2016 22:16

Went out to the pub with DP tonight (we don't live together). It's his DD birthday soon and having a party.. Was showing me some photos of food he was going to buy, the next thing, he'd swiped onto a pic of a pretty young woman in a vest top, it was all so quick. Anyway he quickly swiped it away as I asked who was it. He was very flustered and said "oh that's them in the what's app group sending pics" (his male hobby group)

I said nothing for around an hour then asked him about the pic, again he looked flustered, but recited the same story. I asked to see the pic and the WA thread and he flatly refused, categorically refused to show me.

Am I wrong to ask him this?

OP posts:

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BeMorePanda · 10/08/2016 23:28

Look he won't even reassure you, but plays the Whiny "don't treat me like a child " card to get you to back off.

Either he is hiding something from you, or/and he really doesn't care about how you are feeling.

Wanting to know more about that picture is not wrong op.

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Infidelity1stAidKit · 11/08/2016 00:57

I'm new to Mumsnet but saw I received visitors to my site from this thread today.

I don't know if this helps, but KNOWING what to do is the easy part. We all know what needs done.

Our gut instincts know something smells fishy.

Our cheating radar goes off.

[Rhetorical Questions]
How long are we prepared to deal with the pain?
How much do we deserve respect?
How badly do we want a healthy, mutually beneficial relationship?
Are we ready to face the reality or do we keep hoping the nightmare is fake (made up in our own heads)?

**If we allow a mate to cover up evidence that you catch them with red-handed then what does that tell them?

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WillIEverBeASizeTen · 11/08/2016 07:45

Bemore..thank you, I don't think it's wrong either but he's making me feel like a nuisance.

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SandyY2K · 11/08/2016 08:24

Whats app backs up. You dont loose threads. I can delete a conversation but as soon as i send another message to that person i get back all the correspondence i have ever had.

That's only if you set it up to do a back up and if you delete the thread, you won't get it back with no back up.

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Horehound · 11/08/2016 11:55

The trust is gone. He is being dodgy. You know it, we know it. Wake up!

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Infidelity1stAidKit · 11/08/2016 14:22

It is DEFINITELY your right to ask about the pic.

And it is his OBLIGATION to explain it IF his priority is to maintain a happy, honest relationship with you.

..."he's making me feel like a nuisance."

If he makes you uncomfortable to ask about the picture than he's hoping you'll stop asking.

Right now if you let it go and pretend everything is ok in order to avoid a fight then that will reassure him that he can get away with "misbehaving".

How comfortable are you giving him the silent treatment until he explains the pic?

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KeepCoolCalmAndCollected · 11/08/2016 15:01

The bottom line is he doesn't respect your feelings.
So this is twice now, what are you going to do next time?

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DietCockBreak · 11/08/2016 15:11

Funny he had to restore the phone this week after all that isn't it! Lying git. You're wasting your time. He didn't want to let you see the WhatsApp convo because it would obviously prove he was lying, then he'd have to find another explanation for the photo of the woman. You've wasted 5 years on this twat. It's already 5 too many. How many more years have you got spare to waste on him? Just tell him to fuck off and don't look back.