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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

please someone help me decipher what happened....(title amended by MNHQ - trigger warning)

150 replies

whatthefuck9 · 31/07/2016 22:00

Ive name changed for this as too scared ill be recognised but could really do with speaking to someone
My heads such a mess i invited some new neighbours over for a drink the other night , ive only met them to say hi to so thought it would be nice to get to know them and make a new friend hopefully
While we were having a drink they told me about the wild lifestyle they lead....swingers clubs/escorts etc ( all this on the 1st time id really even spoken to them) i was a bit taken aback but laughed along like each to thier own etc as didnt want to be rude
Heres where it all gets very vague :( i had a call off a friend at midnight which i remember and them both still being here i didnt feel drunk infact id had less to drink than i sometimes do sat on my own watching tv, my next memory is 3 hrs later when i woke up/came round feeling violently sick and he was on top of me :( i pushed him off and ran into the bathroom to be sick and i vaguley recollect him tucking me into bed? Dont know how much later that was, dont remember him leaving or letting him out or anything really until i phoned my friend about 4am crying hystetically
I have literally no memories of between the call from my friend and maybe 3 hrs later when i came round in bed with him on top of me....when i came downstairs after he left my trousers and underwear were in the living room though
Please someone talk to me im falling apart here terrified of what happened in those lost hours :(

OP posts:
TuppencePenny · 31/07/2016 22:41

Don't reply to them it's all evidence. They are dangerous nutters. Personally I would advise you to go on holiday later- if you are flying or using public transport can you delay your ticket? OP this needs addressing. You will be incredibly anxious on holiday if you don't get these tests done before you go.

onewhitepillowleft · 31/07/2016 22:41

Okay. Are you travelling alone? What has the friend who you spoke to that night asked you to do?

You said you were still being sick. How long ago did this happen? If you don't want to report the assault, then you still need to get checked out in case whatever they gave you is poisoning you.

I don't mean to scare you, but it is important you take care of your health.

rainbowstardrops · 31/07/2016 22:42

I think you need to ring the police tonight.

thequeenoftarts · 31/07/2016 22:55

Sounds like your drink might have been spiked with Rohypnol which is also known as the date rape drug. You really should report it and get a blood test taken asap.You may be able to go to the hospital to have this done, considering the urgency.

Fullofnachos · 01/08/2016 08:07

How are you this morning op? Flowers

MephistoMarley · 01/08/2016 08:19

Bloody hell :(
You do need to report it if you can. Where are you going on holiday? Is it uk?

Notasinglefuckwasgiven · 01/08/2016 10:59

I'm so sorry op. This is awful and these people are twisted monsters, and they know it hence the " friendly " texts to cover their tracks. Firstly, you can't deal with this alone. The hurt rage and vulnerability you'll feel will be overwhelming. Please call the local GUM clinic and inform them you've been raped. They will prioritize you and get the ball rolling on any help you may need. You can chat to the local police if you feel strong enough. Right now how you feel and your immediate health are paramount. If you're still vomiting get to A+E in case something more serious is going on from whatever substance this beast gave you. Explain what happened to the staff. They'll know what to do. Again I'm so sorry. I wish I could turn back time for you and stop this happening. I know how it feels. Flowers

onewhitepillowleft · 01/08/2016 11:05

I think the OP has gone on holiday and might not be able to reply this week.

Peakyblinder · 01/08/2016 11:27

Why on earth would you go ahead on holiday if something like this has genuinely happened to you?
You'll never be able to prove anything without it.

Notasinglefuckwasgiven · 01/08/2016 11:48

I don't think any of us know what we'd do until we're in the situation. I went to work the day after my ex husband raped me, bruised, stunned and numb. I just got up and fulfilled what was in my brain that day. It's hard to explain.

whatthefuck10 · 03/08/2016 00:56

Hi its me the OP .... ever since MNHQ have altered the title of my thread to trigger warning my password doesnt work and cant log in.... i have sent them an email re this 2 days ago and heard nothing and not recieved any password reset emails i have requested its really freaking me out like someones hacked my account.... but no not a troll incase anyones wondering yes this did genuinely happen ( why would anyone make up something like this! ) and yes i am on holiday signal awful but could really do with chatting when i have some and if anyone could clear up the password suddenly not workig mystery it may help me sleep slightly better at night as my mind is running wild about that now also x

Oswin · 03/08/2016 01:13

I wouldn't worry about the password thing it's probably just a fault.

How are you doing?

whatthefuck10 · 03/08/2016 01:15

Hi :) not doing very well tbh i have periods when im distracted where i think im ok n dont think about it but when the kids are asleep and im on my own its torturing me.... so glad i managed to get back on here and thank you for replying

Oswin · 03/08/2016 01:29

Imso sorry this happened to you.
What awful bastards.
You could see your go when you get back.

whatthefuck10 · 03/08/2016 01:30

Yeah i could.... ive been reading up about what they may have spiked me with though as im assuming this is what must of happened by how little i drank and it only stays in your body hours ....

Rainbow · 03/08/2016 01:47

Sweetheart you do need to report this. You will not get any peace of mind until you do. Go to GUM clinic just to be 100% your not pregnant or have a STI at the very least. Get in touch with rape crisis too. We can help but they are better at it xxx

GarlicMistake · 03/08/2016 02:18

I'm so sorry. What utter bastards. I've been spiked, and so have a few of my friends. I wasn't sick but they were. The feelings you get from having part of your history stolen from you (that's how I felt, anyway) are really weird and they do keep coming back until you've talked to someone who knows what they're doing.

It must be difficult trying to be in the moment, on holiday with your kids, while this is going on in the back of your mind. As much as you can, treat yourself like you would your best friend if they were distressed or unwell. You need good food, distractions, and safe company.

Depending on your roaming charges, it could be worth ringing Samaritans and/or Rape Crisis while you're away. I can't overstress the importance of being able to talk properly about it. If you can't afford it, you're stuck with us until you get home Grin

Totally agree with reporting them to the police. You have some evidence, and at least your report will help them when this dreadful couple do the same to someone else.

You know it wasn't your fault and you didn't ask for it, but I'm telling you anyway! It was him, not you. He's a sleazy criminal. You're a nice woman Flowers

KateSMumsnet · 03/08/2016 11:36

@whatthefuck10

Hi its me the OP .... ever since MNHQ have altered the title of my thread to trigger warning my password doesnt work and cant log in.... i have sent them an email re this 2 days ago and heard nothing and not recieved any password reset emails i have requested its really freaking me out like someones hacked my account.... but no not a troll incase anyones wondering yes this did genuinely happen ( why would anyone make up something like this! ) and yes i am on holiday signal awful but could really do with chatting when i have some and if anyone could clear up the password suddenly not workig mystery it may help me sleep slightly better at night as my mind is running wild about that now also x

Hi OP - sorry for the delay, if you check your inbox you should see a reply from us Flowers

whatthefuck10 · 03/08/2016 15:45

Thank you for your replies..... garlic yes the thing thats bothering me most is the lost hours and what happened in them from the little bits of information i do have it doesnt seem like i should want to remember anyway but for some reason i do even just a bit so i can stop imagining allsorts x

whatthefuck9 · 06/08/2016 02:25

Sorry i havent been on in a few days my internet is so awful here on holiday back home in a couple of days i do really appreciate people taking the time to speak to me its really hard to cope with all on my own and knowing i have to go home soon and he will be there terrifies me
Im safe here and want to stay in this little bubble on holiday but i know it wont last and i will have to go back to reality next week.... to sleep in my house where it happened and see him on my street nothing here reminds me of it so i have been managing to block it out in the daytime at least ... i dont want that to end i dont want to have to go home and see him again and im frightened of not being able to cope

OP posts:
whatthefuck9 · 06/08/2016 02:26

MNHQ sorted my account and changed my username back to whatthefuck9 instead of whatthefuck10 btw.... its still me

OP posts:
GarlicMistake · 06/08/2016 11:50

Glad you got your username back :) Your holiday seems to be doing you good! I completely understand why you feel apprehensive about going back & seeing them again. Hopefully you'll arrive home with the sunshine still in your head, and all the post-holiday stuff will keep you busy for a while. Plus, you'll be able to make those calls for support.

Keep on keeping one, and enjoy the next few days.

whatthefuck9 · 09/08/2016 14:05

Hi ladies im home sorry for not posting internet was terrible but im back online now going to try and phone rape crisis just to talk it through with them
Please keep talking to me .....

OP posts:
DoreenLethal · 09/08/2016 14:08

Hi.

You are doing the right thing. Keep calm and write down everything before you talk to them so that you don't miss anything. Or us the OP to refer to.

So sorry this has happened to you. Flowers

GarlicMistake · 09/08/2016 14:14

Good for you :) Welcome home! Think it's good advice to make some noted before you call. Hope you get through quickly.