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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Brave Babes Battle Bus - Holding our heads up like thistles

999 replies

MaryMungoAndMidgies · 23/07/2016 16:09

I bit the bullet - Come on in, excuse the faint whiff of dog!

The last thread

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49
dementedma · 30/07/2016 19:36

It's a John Torodes recipe in Good Food magazine. I take back every thing I have ever said about John Torode. It is indeed a lovely, lovely thing! Not sure if it freezes though. I keep going back into the kitchen to pick at the leftovers. So much for low carbing....

aliasjoey · 30/07/2016 19:58

Replying to Elba first of all, just to say You are amazing! That tactic of pausing part way through for a coffee or soft drink, that is something only achieved by Bus veterans. Really, really well done!

Hope you are having a fantabulous time, the place looks lovely

aliasjoey · 30/07/2016 20:09

Wry sorry, I've no idea what you could do (if anything) about your parents. Until you know more, maybe all you can do at the moment is tell your dad not to talk about your mum like that in front of you.

^I don't care what you get up to in your private life. If you've got a problem, I will listen and try and support you...but do NOT ever talk that way about mum. Whatever is going on is NOTHING to do with her, and you need to respect that.
^
(Note how I didn't mention any "or else" empty threats, cause I'm not sure how strong your position would be until you know more...hence the 'I'm here to listen' offer)

MaryMungoAndMidgies · 30/07/2016 20:25

joey my mind has been knitting all day wondering how to phrase something. That is just perfect, that is exactly what I wanted to say, but my head just wouldn't think. Bloody hell, how did you come up with that? That says everything without me sounding like I'm in blame mode. I took the coward's way out and got up and walked off. That's twice you've made me have a good think in one weekend, thank you my dear.

What have you been up to today quine? xx

Mam goes to bed early, I will catch him later.

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Elba84 · 30/07/2016 20:51

Thank you joey, ma, wry and everyone else too. I've just come outside again to have a little break, but since I last posted I've had a couple of glasses of wine but lots of water and another main course. Also played volleyball and been for a little walk. Have declined vodka since earlier, but I'm told they will be doing toasts soon and its normal to have a shot after each...Hmm

I'm actually quite relaxed about it (more than I anticipated) but can't be complacent as I think a drink or two had too fast and the vague off switch that exists at the moment will be non existent....I could easily gather momentum if I'm not careful!!!

I'm not by any means sober right now, but I'm attempting to be mindful. And I'm actually not constantly after the next drink...if anything I've been taking advantage of the coffees etc.

The last wedding I went to I was unable to stand by this point, and I don't remember going to bed. I half thoight I would have good intentions but would of been put to bed by this point, or be stuck in some kind of self pitying drunk wallowing. But I'm having fun and have enjoyed the whole trip...can't believe I nearly didn't come!

Still a few hours to go but I'm going to enjoy them. Sorry to keep posting, but it's actually helping me keep mindful of what I'm drinking and your replies have helped so much.
Love you all! This would never of happened a year ago...it would be a given of be gone by now! Xxx

dementedma · 30/07/2016 21:05

Keep at it Elba this last bit could be the hardest when you start to relax. You are doing brilliantly. Think how amazing you are going to feel tomorrow when you wake up without a killer hangover, having had a lovely time.
Keep on with the water and soft drinks. You can do it

babyjane1 · 30/07/2016 21:26

Hi guys,

Just a quickie, elba I'm ridiculously proud of you. More importantly I'm so so pleased your having fun. There's a whole world out there for you to explore and live in happily, a world easier, better and much more fun than the one alcohol has taken from you in recent times. Dead chuffed xxx

wry I simply adore you, I admire you, respect you and wish I could ride alongside you someday and put this world to rights. I'm so sorry you are faced with this horrible dilemma, when will you get the happiness and contentment you so deserve??? Xxx

MaryMungoAndMidgies · 30/07/2016 21:44

Mindful is a fabulous goal to have! Volleyball? In a frock? Pray god you are not wearing very little knickers Grin Still, would be grand to garner a wolf whistle for a bit of an ego boost!

Keep at it quine! You are having fun and everything! What a boost! Bloody well done elba, you will enjoy that view all the more in the morning! xx

ma Did you manage to have any leftovers for freezing? How is the General this fine evening? Has he stopped howking up his hairy balls? Grin xx

lala and claret hello petals, just a wee shout to see how you are doing, hope you've both had a fine day, xx

baby how's the sorting oot going? Have you managed to make a wee start? I did my underwear and pj drawers tonight, I managed to throw out anything I wouldn't like the doctor to see me in. Not that he ever sees me in me drawers as a rule, but it was a good barometer. I was all for a juice day today, but that went tits up so it will have to be tomorrow instead. Please say you did better than me! xx

summer I hope you have your dms on and are hoofing the Wine Witch's arse all over the weekend! xx

faire would you say Pilates trumps Callanetics for making you more supple? I dug out my old Callan book today, in my twenties I practised it religiously and I was ever so flexible. One of my old colleagues runs a Pilates class, would you advise a few basic classes to get initial positions sorted before doing it at home? xx

sweet how is your lovely garden and your equally lovely dog? Have you advanced to intermediate recall? Grin xx

spanna Wishing you sunshine and happiness for your family camping trip, hope you are having an ace time, keep smilling sweetpea! xx

Eeeh this has taken me an age to type, hope everyone is keeping fine, xx

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MaryMungoAndMidgies · 30/07/2016 21:49

Oh quine, you just brought a wee tear to my eye, (((((((((((((((((hayscentedbosie)))))))))))))))))))
I can see us now, cantering along a peaceful beach, smiling and giggling, high on fresh air and joy, much love my friend, that's a happy place and a half to focus on! xx

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MaryMungoAndMidgies · 30/07/2016 21:52

And baby? One day we will! xx

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MaryMungoAndMidgies · 31/07/2016 00:12

Night night elba hope you are still having lots of fun, see you in the morning! xx

Night night everyone, sweet dreams, xx

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Summer70 · 31/07/2016 07:32

Good morning everyone. Thanks Wry, yes Wine witch kept at bay despite her keep poking me. Actually what I really fancied was a cold beer after a day of gardening. Luckily non in house. So I've shifted from thinking about when I can next have a glass of something to concentrating on not having a glass. It will be nice thinking about alcohol is not so all consuming!
Elba I hope you really enjoyed the wedding & that this morning you have lovely memories of the day.
Wishing everyone a happy sunny Sunday.

Elba84 · 31/07/2016 08:19

Morning all!

So, I'm definitely hungover...but so is everyone, we are going to be a sorry sight heading back to the airport! Only about 12 hours travelling to go...Sad

But I made it to 3am, so 12 hours of drinking time, and I remember the whole thing. No falls or embarrassing moments. And an overdue slightly drunk heart to heart with two of my best friends...i remember what I said! Lots of dancing in between, but nearly relaxed a bit too much at the end, like ma said. But I at least delayed that point by several hours!

It helped so much to be able to come on here, although I really don't feel amazing I'm on a bit of a high as Id almost written myself off with regards to yesterday! Thank you all so much. I will have a proper read back when I'm home

Here's a couple more pics for you all xxxxxx

Brave Babes Battle Bus - Holding our heads up like thistles
Brave Babes Battle Bus - Holding our heads up like thistles
dementedma · 31/07/2016 08:24

Bloody well done Elba. Very proud of you. You may have a green Opal Fruit.

MaryMungoAndMidgies · 31/07/2016 13:37

Well done elba, hold your head up quine, you did good! Look at those views, gladdens the heart, doesn't it? xx

Spoke to dad, didn't go very well, he just clammed up, put a pouty face on and reached for his iPad. But I guess, that is more his problem and not mine. I said my piece, (I can't thank you enough joey, you worded that perfectly), it sounded calm and measured and completely hid what I'm feeling inside. I guess he just needs a bit to process it.

I'm going to tackle a wardrobe. Come away Marie Kondo, we have work to do.

I wonder if her house is really spotless. Bet it's a tip. She'll be sat on big untidy piles of my money. But hey, I know how to fold socks. even though I still want to ball the buggers

summer I know, it just seems right to have a Pimms, beer or cider after gardening. My garden is starting to bloom! Thanks to the cone of shame, she is unable to deadhead all the flowers before they are actually dead. If the sun peeps out I will take a wee picture, xx

beaches hello quine, sending a big bosie over, hope you are having a lovely weekend and that the sun is shining for you, xx

Right. Wardrobe.

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dementedma · 31/07/2016 15:07

Well done wry for confronting your dad. That can't have been easy. At least he knows that you know kind of thing..

MaryMungoAndMidgies · 31/07/2016 15:18

He went out not long after. Hopefully he'll be a little bit more respectful., perhaps not, but we both know I know.

Naw ma, nae easy but it's done. I'll not have him speak about mam like she's nowt. She has done nothing to deserve it.

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Mrsmimsy · 31/07/2016 18:51

Does anyone have any ideas on how to hide self harm scars? X

aliasjoey · 31/07/2016 19:12

Oh well done wry you stood your ground all right!

ma how are you doing?

dementedma · 31/07/2016 19:15

I'm OK joey. Have had a peaceful day and done nothing but eat really. I wish I had some bloody will power.

Mimsy where are the scars you want to hide?

MaryMungoAndMidgies · 31/07/2016 19:57

hey mimsy, you could try contacting Changing Faces, the make up is waterproof and matched to your skin tone. It is also available on prescription. In some places you can self refer, or ask your gp to refer you.

If fresher scars, Boots sell a scar reduction serum (own brand) or there is one called Remescar which will also work on older scars, xx

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Mrsmimsy · 31/07/2016 20:52

They are old scars I am ashamed of. I spend a fortune on trying to find shirts or cardigans or something. It's mainly my forearms but also a bit my legs. From university. But now my DD asked the other day what some of them were :-(

Mrsmimsy · 31/07/2016 20:59

I hate summer because they are there. Now I am on school run I feel so on show. I have always been too ashamed to mention it to anyone and my mum always found it an embarrassment although I am sure she relished at the time in telling everyone how awful I was making her life. X

Mrsmimsy · 31/07/2016 21:03

Bloody nearly forty and still in a mess :-( x

Mrsmimsy · 31/07/2016 21:12

Would I be able to go to changing faces with old scars?