Dry 14

[glad2016]

This is the thread for all those who are living, or committed to living, life free from alcohol.
Go sober warriors !

Oh, someone recommended Jackie's blog, Sober Sassy Life . Really enjoying it! I signed up for her newsletter and she has sent two really good summer survival guides. Lots of fun.

www.sobersassylife.com/

I think it might have been me? I signed up for Jackie's Sober Sassy Playbook month long course. Really good. Also Belle one min messages and blog are very inspiring

Thanks for the link to sobersassylife. Listened to the audio whilst walking round the supermarket and avoided buying booze. Home safely with my becks blue (and swanky night cream 😃)

Good work Buono I'm cheering you on!

Where is my buddy? Pimpernell how are you doing? We'll be hitting 60 days together this Friday.

I am still here and still sober. Feeling the PAWS gloom lift a bit and generally a bit more light hearted and energetic.

Well done Buono. Enjoy your sober treats!

Just checking in - day 3. No cravings as yet, but I am constantly fretting about staying sober on my holiday next week. Have just downloaded a couple of appropriate sober books onto my kindle for pool-side reading. I wish I could buy some AF vino there (going to Spain, I expect there'll be a decent-sized supermarket nearby but don't know if it's a thing there or not?) just to get me through that first drink on the balcony before heading out for dinner time of the evening. Just keep focusing on how good I'll feel on my return if I manage it, and equally, how bad I'll feel if I drink - both whilst there, but also when I get back.

I'm here!!
I don't like to post when I feel so low. I fear dragging everyone down with my negativity!
I'm OK though and pleased everyone is pushing on soberly whether camping on a dig - how interesting and adventurous - or pondering taking on a few more chores ( have you made any progress towards that? - I really admire the way you have reflected on your relationship with a view to possible changes)
How are you doing with food? I wasn't sure whether you meant you were eating badly as in too much junk or eating badly - not eating properly.
My relationship with food isn't healthy at the moment. Even though I started trying to lose weight 8 weeks before I gave up drinking I do think the sobriety control and eating control has got a bit muddled. I don't eat much and I don't eat well.
It's odd that being sober and being thinner are really similar - much much better in many ways but still not the secret to being happy - told you I was a misery!
Anyway 60 blooming days get us!!!

Well done JB!
I'm on holiday next week too. I keep telling myself that we will be able to walk on the beach when it's cooler and emptier or even go further afield because everyone else will be DRUNK while we are enjoying the best part of the day!
For me, the 'I need a drink - what am I going to do with myself?' Didn't last very long maybe a week? The sober books and blogs helped enormously during those evenings. After that - I felt really empowered - during those next few weeks - it really hit home how much better life was and how GREAT I was for doing it. Life still is sooooo much better though I think the initial euphoria has worn off. No way will I drink again though. Though life is hard when you can't drink away the negative feelings, I never want to be in that awful place again. Even though I am struggling mentally now, I feel I am travelling towards something better. When I drank, I was trapped and heading to a bad bad place. I don't know how long it will take me to get there - maybe I never will be happier - but it will still be better than drinking.

Well done on day 3 Jelly.

I'm nearing the end of my holiday - and agree that sundowners need thought. I don't like sweet drinks much so always sniffed at mocktails.

Been experimenting with mixtures of sparkling water, tonic water, grapefruit and ice with a garnish. My 10 year old DD really likes the idea of making them although some of her choices are a little offbeat......

congrats pimpernella and keep posting.

I'm off to bed now but thank you everyone for your tips, advice and good vibes. Cant wait until the weekend - off to see Jason Bourne as suggested (without cinema hip flask) xxx

No kids slim but you're so right about strategies. Will start thinking more about triggers and how to avoid/be distracted from.

Hi all - you are right pimpernella about it being tough when you can't drink away negative feelings! I am up and (theoretically) working as my anxiety is going through the roof. Trying to get a few hours of work done, then can sleep tomorrow I guess once DS goes to the childminder.

sober treats all good. lizzy I like grapefruit juice and tonic water also. Mmmm. I'd love to know what some of your DD's 'interesting' concoctions are! We should experiment with wacky mocktail recipes and post them. :)

Drinking a mocktail right now - tonic water and cranberry juice. Quite nice, not sweet.

Hope everyone is fine. I am feeling alot chirpier than I was early this morning!

Sounds good to me!

DD made me fizzy water, ice, a blackberry and sliced fresh ginger. Quite avant garde I thought.

Hi all.

DH is out tonight which previously would have meant that I drank a bit extra if I was home alone - but instead I've just put an AF vino in the fridge and have got some nice snacks lined up. I'll also be able to have full control of the tele and actually remember what happens in what I watch #novel.

M and S non alcoholic rose grape drink is the dogs bollocks 😊

Thanks for the tip Buono. I've decadently had 2 glasses of AF wine, and will be heading off to bead shortly to carry on reading Drink - A Love Story. It's amazing how drinking the AF wine, in my wine glass, really feels like the real thing but without the horrible effects, and the guilt in the morning.

Hoping to sleep better tonight - it's been taking me ages to get off to sleep, and last night I had quite disturbing dreams. I hear that improved sleep is just around the corner, so I'm looking forward to that.

Happy sober evenings all x

Day 60 today for me and pimpernella whoop whoop!

pimpernella when you wrote this:

Life still is sooooo much better though I think the initial euphoria has worn off. No way will I drink again though. Though life is hard when you can't drink away the negative feelings, I never want to be in that awful place again. Even though I am struggling mentally now, I feel I am travelling towards something better. When I drank, I was trapped and heading to a bad bad place. I don't know how long it will take me to get there - maybe I never will be happier - but it will still be better than drinking.

I would not have put it better myself - this is EXACTLY what I think.

I am finding life quite hard at the moment - we have a lot going on - rather than finding not-drinking hard. I think my brain THOUGHT it was not-drinking that was difficult, because I've trained it to see boozing as the answer to all my problems. But actually, what is hard is all the family and practical and work stuff that is mounting up, which means I need to take proper care of myself and my sleep, and be present for my kids and support my husband, and the key to all of that is Not-Drinking.

I am feeling good today. Reflective and pretty tired, but pleased with what I have achieved. We're having a bit of a refurb done in the house and already I can see what I want to do with the cash I've saved.

Hi all. waves to the new posters and the longer standing one. pillow you sounds in a great place ! think of how wobbly you were at the beginning and look how far you have come.

I'm day 147 today - will be 5 months next Friday. Honestly I can say I'm not craving drinking. I don't want ALCOHOL. I do want the oblivion and avoidance of problems that comes from being drunk all the time.

I am facing very very difficult personal decisions about my relationship with my partner. Effectively it feels like a choice between him and my eldest son. They are BOTH pushing me into this choice and its that, more than anything that I am struggling to forgive my partner.

Being sober has brought theses issues into clear focus. They have been there for along time. its interesting that I had a 'breakdown' last time I was sober - because of the stresses at home. I have thought it happened despite the fact that I was sober. Now I think maybe it happened because I was sober.

Blog post on PAWS here alcoholfree2016.com/2016/08/03/paws/comment-page-1/#comment-426

Much love to all xxx

Sorry to hear things are so hard for you lilybetsy :(

Woo hoo! Well done us Pillow!

I'm not sure I've been quoted before - I feel I must be quite profound now!

Well done for having something proper to spend the saved money on. I'm afraid I spend all my time buying stuff - 'because we are not spending it on drink' - and though we have lots of nice new things...no tangible savings made! DH and I have both given up so we are the cost of 2 bottles of wine and 4 cans of Stella up every day.
Glad you are feeling good today Pillow my pal. Are you having anything exciting done to the house? I really intended to decorate these summer holidays...oh dear!

Lily - that link was really useful thanks. I looked at the serotonin one too. I have been wondering about going back on anti depressants for a couple of years but always thought rather than take drugs I just needed to stop drinking. I now see that it is not as simple as that. I don't feel that I am in a thick fog of unrelenting doom and despair as I have in the past but I feel very anxious a lot of the time and often I just don't want to...be... I suppose that I don't feel depressed in the ways that I've experienced it before but that doesn't mean I wouldn't benefit from AD 's I suppose. Last time I raised it with the GP ( before quitting drinking which she knew about) she pretty much said she would be lead by me and what I wanted since I knew a lot about my own mental health history. Really though - I wanted her to tell me what to do! Can anyone advise?

I suppose your words about having a breakdown when sober rang a bell with me Lily. I'm sorry things are tough for you and hope you manage to sort things out.

It's really hard letting go of the idea that stopping drinking was going mend everything but I'm getting used to it now.

It was profound, pimpernella very simple and apt and helped me articulate what I'd been trying to grasp the past couple of weeks.

House? We're having the living room and dining room knocked through and doors put on, a new kitchen and some other bits and pieces doing. It's expensive but it will be worth it when it is done. It feels a bit overwhelming but it's a first world problem and most of the time these past few days I have been thinking about how bloody lucky I am.

pimpernella are you getting much exercise? I know this sounds patronising - but even getting out into the light and the air for a 20 minute walk after my tea has been doing me a lot of good. I am also prone to anxiety and depression and not-boozing has made me feel worse the past three weeks or so, though I think I am just about through the worst of it now.

How are you doing lilybetsy? Do you have people in real life to talk to? How old is your son? Is there a particular issue? I don't mean to pry: only that posting here and getting the light and air onto the problem might help you a little bit. x

How exciting Pillow! A new kitchen is on my want list too. When do you expect it to be done? What sort of look are you going for? I find kitchen choosing difficult. (regularly eye them up but never get round to it for various - too boring to go into - reasons)
We have a dog so I was about to say - yes I do plenty of walking but thinking about it, the dog walker does it when I'm at work, DH might well do both days at the weekend unless we go for a family walk so that would be 2 days! !

God knows when it will be finished. We hope to have it all sorted by late September but that might be a bit ambitious. None of the work is complicated, but it we need a plumber and a tiler and someone to make a door and all kinds of boring intricate stuff...

Morning all! Still here and still sober. Am currently loving my sober life, feel like I'm doing better at work, and things with the kids seem easier. I smoked a fair few fags on holiday, but have up easily on Monday.

About to go away for weekend with family though, and am a bit worried. They are all quite boozy, and I feel sure that I'll be tempted.

But being less than 2 weeks away from 100 days feels like a great incentive to keep going.

Thinking of you lily. My eldest is autistic (high functioning/aspergers) and can be very hard work sometimes. Dp doesn't always get him, and he tends to go to the pub when he's on one of his meltdowns. I hate the conflict, and feeling in the middle of it all.