Hi everyone
Finnish congratulations on 100 days. That is AMAZING. I remember how kind you were to me when I first joined and I am so so so pleased for you. Loved your post - really reflective and loads of food for thought.
Glad how are you? So glad that you didn't give in at that party and have identified the triggers and what led up to them. And it's so kind to share it here, because the rest of us have a bit more information about things to look out for too.
Maudlin that diet sounds amazing. I've stopped smoking (I started again as soon as I stopped drinking - I was craving so much I thought fags were better than booze) and now I've stopped smoking (a week) I have been craving sugar. I don't know what it is about my body that is always WANTING something. I don't like it. Do you think a detox like this will help? Which toxins does it get rid of?
pimp Glad you liked that post. It rang a lot of bells for me - I don't just have to stop drinking, I have to build a life that doesn't have room in it for drinking. I think I'll have a 'fuck it' moment and get pissed one day if my life isn't too full and interesting and fulfilling enough to risk fucking up with a bender. So that is what I have to do next. Still going slowly and taking it easy though - I feel very fragile in being sober right now.
sunnyshowers and strongtea thank you for your advice about anger. I think I do need a better way of dealing with it - I didn't drink, but I did just lie in bed and stew about it, and I hate that. I hate being angry - I feel out of control and very distressed very easily (not violent, just very very upset) and I don't really know how to soothe myself or make it better. I am going to try loud music and housework - it certainly won't do any harm.
I have suggested counselling to DH and he says yes so we are going to make an appointment. I HATE the dynamic that we're in - that I'm the one who is fragile or sick or unreliable or incompetent in some way, and he's the one who is capable and reliable and 'the rock'. He did look after me while I was ill and I will never stop being grateful for that. He also put up with a LOT of pathetic behaviour from me when I was drinking. But I'm not useless. I bring in all the money and do a responsible job well. And my opinions about things count, and I do deserve respect. I think he doesn't see me as an equal, but a liability to be looked after. I want to change that. I hope we can.
I have to be away for the next few days for work. Don't worry if you don't hear from me: I will not be drunk. I promise.
Where is choc? How are you doing?
riveria if you ever read here, I still think about you and wonder how you're getting along. Even if you are drinking, you can come and post here and there's no judgement from me.