Dry 14

[glad2016]

This is the thread for all those who are living, or committed to living, life free from alcohol.
Go sober warriors !

It's hard to drop off but I sleep better sober. Sorry you are struggling.
I'm at the airport too Jelly. So much booze around. Feeling apprehensive.
We can do it though!!

I've got a bit of work to do tonight (working nights because I'm with the kids in the day). It's a boring but necessary bit of admin housekeeping and I used to do it with a large glass of wine (or five) to make it bearable.

Not feeling happy about doing it sober. Not feeling happy about doing it at all, to be honest, even though it's more boring and time consuming than difficult (think annual accounts, but not to do with money...).

Grrr. Ah well.

Pimp good luck - I'm planning on taking it a day at a time whilst away, and when tempted will be thinking about how rubbish I'll feel the next morning if I do. I really want to make it to 100 days, and for me that date falls on a very significant date for me, but only if I stick at it. Really hoping I can pick up a couple of bottles of AF wine there too, not sure how realistic that is though.

How grotty One, maybe you'll get through it quicker sober? Can you treat yourself to some nice chocolate or something whilst you do it? I find a Pepsi Max to be a bit of a treat drink, partially because I know it's not great for me so I try to limit my intake of it.

Thanks for info with sleep - hopefully I'll start to see an improvement soon. I think part of the problem might be that I'm getting up later because it's the holidays, which then means I'm not able to get to sleep until later than normal. Have had 2 fairly early starts now so fingers crossed I'll get off to sleep a bit earlier tonight.

Had a really rubbish day. Just been in my house all day not wanting to face the world. I have got myself in bed early watching rubbish on tv and just eaten junk food.
I had a bottle of wine in fridge but got rid of it as I knew drinking it would only make me worse tomo.

Good work choc getting it out of the house is a wise move. Is your partner being supportive of you? We all know we have to make this choice for ourselves, but having him in the know and not waving crates of chablis about when you are feeling weak is always helpful too.

jellybean it is well grotty. Rather than moan I have made myself a huge pot of fennel tea and I am going to get on with it. Now you come to mention it, I've been finding it a bit harder to get out of bed in the mornings during the school holidays too - a combination of having nowhere to be at 9am, and perhaps staying up a bit later than usual to unwind after a day with the kids.

Fly safe pimp. If you are going to do duty free, buy yourself some fancy makeup or perfume if you like that sort of thing. We are chasing down 70 days and you deserve to celebrate it!

Hi no we don't live together we are trying to work on our relationship ship again. Bit of a weird situation I'm in.

Then it is a good time to make this change - then you can be your very best self and make the best decisions you can for yourself and your partner.

I think a bit of junk food is okay. I really craved sugar in the early days = probably because my body was used to 1000+ calories a night in wine, which must be mainly sugar.

Have you checked out the sober blogs yet? They can be a good help and an inspiration too.

Hi all. Rubbish signal so apologies for infrequent posts and lack of name checks. Another weekish to go in my mega tent with the dig. Very comfy but its hot and sultry! Am environmental rather than archaeology and loving the whole experience. Its a new one for me doing a dig like this. Had a wild swim in a cool river and felt better, all going well and still sober. Its a bit hard being round the students and the parties but I will koko because its not worth spoiling how good I feel every morning for the sake of drinking at night. :)
Welcome choc keep on one day at a time. Drink loads of water/herb teas and take vitamins; post in here for support and sleep a lot if you can. You can do this :)

Hi I can't sleep. Feeling so down about myself and I can't shake it off.
I do feel like iv let myself down.I feel like iv embarrassed myself in front of people for getting drunk and people will think bad of me.I have an appointment today so means I have to go face the world. I'm a bit anxious. I hate all this. I don't even want to leave my room.

I think I'm upset as I don't want people to think oh 'choc' was drunk. This doesn't show me in a very good light. Iv got a lot of stuff goin on im trying to deal with. I got two dc who I love so much and I'm a good mum to them. Bit they have seen me low this weekend. Wish I could just shake of this feeling of anxiety so I can just crack on.

I'm up, Choc. You still around? x

Yeah I'm here.

Okay - this shame and anxiety thing: I went through exactly the same thing. Once someone more experienced comes along they will tell you the same, I think, and perhaps some practical helps to get yourself going today.

Don't feel ashamed to post here. And don't think that whatever you've done or not done, you're alone. I still feel embarrassed and sad and shamed about my drinking times, but the anxiety isn't paralysing any more because I am not adding to it, and every day I can feel proud of myself that I didn't drink.

How many days sober are you?

Have you got a good multivitamin? Are you eating enough protein? Us drinkers can often be deficient in things and that can contribute to a low feeling.

Is there something very kind and gentle you can do for yourself today? You deserve it. Whatever you did or didn't do because of your drinking, whatever you think of yourself, you deserve some gentle nurturing today. What can you do for yourself that is a proper treat and act of self-care that doesn't involve booze?

3 days.
I don't really want to talk my partner phoned me up and I was miserable. I can't stop crying.

Welcome choc. I am sorry you are feeling so low. I can identify with the way you are feeling. It is really horrible when you are worried about facing the world after a drinking episode - I really embarrassed myself at various weddings, parties, gatherings and the feeling of not being able to remember exactly what I'd said or done was awful. I would try and make light of it but inside I was guilty, ashamed and scared.

You have taken a really big step by deciding enough is enough and it's time to stop. It is not easy but this early bit is really really hard. When you get through this bit - and you can do it - it will get easier.

Right now you need to take care of yourself - try and get some rest, have a nice bath, eat what you fancy, keep hydrated. You might also want to write down how you are feeling right now. It is really helpful if in the future you need a reminder of why you are doing this.

Keep going and keep posting. The support here is fantastic. I wouldn't have got this far without the ladies here.

If you need some distraction my blog is http://sothisissober.com/wp-admin/

Lily's is https://alcoholfree2016.com

Excellent ideas onewhite - I can remember when you first began your sober journey - you have come so far - it's wonderful to see.

On my blog lose the wp-admin bit : www.sothisissober.com

Xx

thanks vxa2 couldn't have done it without you guys. Not that I have 'done' it - don't feel or want to appear cocky. I still struggle. But this is better than how it was. I remember the early days clearly, choc - I have been where you are and posting here a lot (I still post a lot, and probably annoy people because of it) really helped me.

Day 3 is hard. I started really feeling the benefits during the end of the last week. Hang on in there. Read DRY 13 thread and see how quickly things improved for me and have a look at the suggestions I got from others when I was at this stage. They really helped and maybe they will help you too. x

Very quick check in, still sober but mad busy with work, kids and family drama. Very nearly drank on Sunday but I laced up my trainers. Running 30miles a week now which is great and wouldn't happen if drinking.

Take care everyone and to everyone new keep going.

Heading off to the airport very soon - Eek! Feeling hopeful but anxious...Hopefully a still sober me will check back in in a week's time!!!

Hi Choc, really nice to see you. Welcome to the thread. I don't post a lot but I've been AF since 28th December 2015.

Firstly, please stop beating yourself up. It is pointless and isn't helping in anyway. The truth is that all it is doing is making you and everything else feel worse than it really is.

I've said this to someone before but you haven't murdered someone have you? All you've done is got really pissed and done/said some things that you would never do when sober. Believe me, I have been there.
Please remember, THAT IS NOT THE REAL YOU!
I was very much a drinker to your pattern, I would be completely dry Monday to Thursday inclusive.
On Friday's I would manage to just drink one bottle of red as I needed to be up for a running group that I lead on Saturday mornings - but it was really bloody hard to moderate that, really hard. I always wanted more, much more (occasionally I'd have one extra glass which I stole out of DH's bottle as he always falls asleep)

On Saturday's and Sunday's I would drink to oblivion and would usually blackout. I would have huge memory gaps because of the blackout.

The best advice I was given was to download and listen to Andrew Johnson's "Quit Drinking" App. It's recommended to listen for a minimum of 3 weeks. I listened at night on sleep mode but you can also listen at any time on wake mode. I truly believe that it has worked for me.

Read as much information as you can and get into the sober blogs as posted above and also google - mummywasasecretdrinker - that is a fab blog too. Go back to the beginning of them is you have time.

Please will you just give yourself a huge hug and a bit of love and care. The anxiety will go the longer you stay off the drink. I promise.

Whatever has happened to make you feel so down, I can promise you that I for one will have done or said something similar.
I can't tell you the amount of family functions I have gone to and got absolutely leathered. Falling over, falling off chairs....you name it....and that's what I'm sharing on here... I always had to have more than anyone else and would embarrass myself every time without fail.
I've also done that in company with friends. I could write a book!!
But that was not the real me.......and I've forgiven myself. You must do too......
The people who truly love and care for you will be concerned about you. I promise that no one will be talking about you anywhere near as much as you think they are.
Download the app and listen to it, do something that you love, treat yourself and know that if you stick to your decision that your life will be better.
I truly wish you all the luck in the world.

Glad sounds like you have done brilliantly well whilst away!
Jelly you will be fine. Make sure you let yourself have some naice drinks like mocktails and smoothies if they are your thing. You are on holiday too!!
I recently had 11 nights away in Spain and I realised that I gained a full 30 odd hours of conscious life by not drinking. More than a full day!!! It was brilliant

Thanks for everyones kind words. I went out this morn and everyone was looking at me as my dc wasn't in the best of moods and having outburst so it took my mind of how I been feeling. I did buy myself some new pjs and bubble bath so thats my plan tonight.
I think it would help my relationship if the drink stops as it is the cause of so many issue's. Il have to stay strong. X

That's it then, I'm going to give up the weekend binge drinking. I discussed with my partner and he agrees drinking can be a issue but he didt agree to give up he has a stag to go to but I need to do it for myself it's not about what other people are doin.I'm sure he will mess up and agree that he needs to give up aswel coz although I got drunk he does far worse and is known for it. Hopefully I can be inspiration to him.

Hello choc good plan on the bubblebath and PJs. Just the right sort of treat. :)

Are you planning on giving up drinking altogether, or just at weekends? What is your goal?