Brother moving in with single mother with young baby

[FrazzledRick]

I might get flamed for this. I'm trying not to be judgemental but I probably am. I'd just like a general consensus and I'm quite prepared to be told to wind my neck in.

I'm pretty worried my brother is being taken advantage in a major way. I don't think she loves him. I don't really know her to be fair and I could be wrong.

She has a four year old and a 6 month old baby. Different fathers but broke up with the youngest's when she was mid-pregnancy.

She and my brother met after she winked at him on an online dating site when the baby was two months old. It's been quite an intense relationship and he has taken on the role of "father" in many ways already. On the second date he went round to her house and somehow ended up feeding the baby!

She's got herself into a bit of a situation now where she has to move house and he is moving in with them all so they can afford to rent somewhere nice! He is talking in a highly committed way which I find bizarre so soon, about supporting them and them becoming a family.

He is 28 with no kids of his own. I think he must be ridiculously infatuated. I think she just wants to be looked after and can't possibly love him. I find it highly uncomfortable that she was actively looking on dating websites when her baby was two months old, like she was looking for a surrogate father for her kids.

Any opinions?

I don't feel like there's anything I can do of course but I saw him today and sort of feel a bit like I'm watching a train crash and it's sad.

I actually find this quite offensive. I dated my now DH when I had a 4 month old and a 3 year old. Women can date without wanting a meal ticket ya know

You don't at all sound concerned for the mother either. If this all goes toys up and his infatuation wears off her kids lose somebody, their home is in jeopardy too. If anything it sounds they've both rushed things but sometimes moments like that do work.

Did you move someone in after four months of dating, about nine months after the last guy moved out?

If not, there is no need to be offended as that seems to be the main concern here : that she may have rushed or rebounded into this relationship, with many people worrying about the impact on her kids and op understandably concerned for her db.

I'm surprised op hasn't had more sympathy tbh. If a woman posted here to say that she'd met someone online and after four months he wanted her to move in, that his ex only moved out a few months before they met, that she met his kids on the second date, that he had a two month old baby etc I think most replies would be 'exercise caution' at the very least.

Maybe this lady isn't very emotionally intelligent. I actually never knew about the six months rule about introducing a new bf to children until I started on mumsnet. It makes a lot of sense, but I didn't intuitively know it.

Op you have very valid concerns. Two kids close in age with two different men and now moving in another one within a few months. She doesn't sound like someone who knows what she's doing with her life. Sounds like she wants security and someone to step in the father role for her kids. Your brother though seems willing to do it so not much you can do. At 28 I too would be worried about my Db about taking on so much baggage but it's his choice.

none of your business if your brother is happy be happy for him else you will lose your brother.