I've met someone and I don't know how to finish this title.

[ProfessorPickles]

I apologise for the terrible thread title, but I didn't have a clue what to go with and could no longer ask your advice
I still like train edition but didn't want to use it incase it's terrible, which it probably is.

So here we are, part three of the 'I've met someone' saga.
The first thread was very positive and exciting, the second was mostly negative for all of us and here we are starting the third!

Let's make it a good one!

you mean 'it's always like this' that men like the ego stroked?

It's not wrong to give a part of heart or hopes to someone This, it's wrong to assume that what they do with it is about you though as it's almost always about them.

You haven't made a fool of yourself I assure you, I felt just the same after finding out about tutor man. I especially felt embarrassed that I'd told friends in RL and I had to tell them about his girlfriend, I felt so stupid. But I wasn't being foolish, and neither have you been.

You've been sweet, thoughtful and brave to have been intending to tell him how you felt.
I still really hope that there is a reasonable explanation for his behaviour and he possibly lost your number for example and couldn't pop by to let you know.

Please don't feel a fool This!

very true, Muddle, and this thinking does help! doesn't help with the outcome but does with the self-esteem.

I'm not buying the lost phone number excuse, I wish I could say I did for your sake This.

I mean, of course he could have lost it if it was on a scrap of paper, but he knew you had an arrangement. If he couldn't call he knows where you live and could drop in, even if just to say that something has come up. That is what a decent person would do, not let down someone you have made arrangements with just a few hours before without a word.

I am sure he will have a reason but unless his head fell off or something equally dramatic I don't think it's ok to behave like that, and makes me think of the old MN saying of 'when someone shows you who they are, listen.'

I love that saying Muddle, it really has stuck in my mind. I even quoted it the other day, it's absolutely spot on.

to be fair they've made arrangements at 10am - all sorts could haev happened to stress him out - maybe his mother fell ill - I think he didn't realise thiswas going to be a date or similar, but more to do with repairing smth, so didn't think This would mind that much - but I'm only defending him IF he had a good reason.
He could of course just be tired and haven;t bothered, or he;s lost his nerve - in which case ok, have to write him off!

I completely agree Muddle and am already coming out of my quagmire thanks to all this heartwarming and intelligent female input. Thank you to one and all!

I really think what hurts (I know I shouldn't take it to heart) is not the lack of potential relationship between us (he could have said no and I would have respected him and been philosophical about it) but the lack of manners and respect. A simple 'sorry can't make it' would gave sufficed. His actions gave mostly been about respect until now. I hope he wasn't making fun of me all along. Did j look completey desperate? We're they making fun of me?

Paranoia. I'll only give into it thus evening. Tomorrow I will hold my head up high. What a shame the garage is just down the road and they still have my Jag. Now me backwards if I'm going to change garage. I won't give him the satisfaction. I'll be polite and aloof.

Oh the typos! I cannot make head or tail of my rantings!

Yes I agree This the lack of manners makes me quite cross on your behalf!

It does tell you a lot about a person though, and that lack of respect does say a lot I think. I don't think for a minute that he actively thought 'oh I won't bother to ring because I don't care/have respect for her' I would think if someone asked he would say he does respect you/is a respectful person as he does seem to have presented himself that way when he is acting consciously around you. So it's more of a casual disrespect and lack of thought which is more of a character trait than a conscious thing aimed specifically at you, and as traits go it's a very unattractive one. Although one that many men have in my experience unfortunately.

Thank you Muddle. What is odd is that he was dog tired, still said yes to coming over (I did come across as nonchalant) and was still there at 8pm. He probably had a drink (there's lots of alcohol on tap there and he has smelt of drink after lunch (last Thursday) and even early morning in the past) and just chickened out. He may have been with his brother or mulling over it. Maybe he'd forgotten completely. Either way at least I was brave in love.

I've just woken up from a dose on complete panic. A horrid feeling of shivering. I have spent days thinking positive thoughts about him and was convinced he was a young man full of qualities; hardworking, respectful. I'm sure he still had many of those qualities but it hurts to have trusted him do much.

And now I am fearful that Crazys opinion of me and how I sabotaged Friday would be the reason he's gone off me. But all the times he was off and closed with me and I willingly accepted that. I feel so crap about myself.

I'm so sorry.

All I meant was at the start of getting to know someone (and thinking about them a lot) one's idea of them is necessarily incomplete. The idea gets updated according to their behaviour as you interact.

(With my Ex, I failed to update my idea of them for far too long. I spent my marriage in self-induced delusion thinking my Ex had some sort of potential which, if circumstances were right, he would fulfil. It was a triumph of hope over experience.)

This - seriously! I have never had a single negative opinion about you... so please stop worrying and trust me when I say that.

Perfect insight and thought inspiring words Silvery. A lot comes from our own projection onto that person and our desire to believe in beauty.

I feel so utterly foolish.

I am literally going to go back to just luring because I am clearly shit with my words!

Lurking* bloody hell

Thank you Crazy. Your advjce/opinion simply reflect what I dislike in myself. I just feel hopelessly lost. I am hugely grateful for all the support here and I hope none of you think ill of me.

If he chickened out or is struggling to make sense of his life I can accept that but I cannot bear to think he thought I was ridiculous.

He's just down the road and when I return I hope and pray I can disconnect from his presence which I have been so drawn to. I found him so reassurING and now I feel vulnerable again.

No Crazy! I will say the same to you as I said to Sweeney when he stepped away; you have brought so much joy and fun to this thread. It just wouldn't be the same without you.

Please forgive me, all you lovely souls, for being so negative and vulnerable. And thank you again for everything.

he may well be as self-sabotaging as you are, This - have you thought of that? not that it's good but it's much mor likely than his disrespect/disinterest. You both came out of bad r-ships recently.

You don't ever need to ask forgiveness for being who you are!

This....come and have a pint of Guinness with me

Oh dear, 973 messages!
Prof, think of yet another title!

This, feeling foolish and being foolish are two different things. I'm pretty sure we all know from experience the emotions you are experiencing.

Tomorrow you will hold your head up high. It will be alright.

Hey This, just on my dinner break and thought I'd check in to see how you are?