I've met someone and I don't know how to finish this title.

[ProfessorPickles]

I apologise for the terrible thread title, but I didn't have a clue what to go with and could no longer ask your advice
I still like train edition but didn't want to use it incase it's terrible, which it probably is.

So here we are, part three of the 'I've met someone' saga.
The first thread was very positive and exciting, the second was mostly negative for all of us and here we are starting the third!

Let's make it a good one!

No not at all... but look at Friday.... where you kinda lost it a bit because he didn't meet your expectations and ask for your number...

Again today you have totally written him off because he is not doing what you expect him to.

I said before cut him a bit of slack.

When you expect people to behave a certain way... more likely we are the ones to have our expectations dashed.... lowering those or having none at all and going with yhe flow is just so much better for you, B and your stress levels!

He could still text... or turn up but you just seem so determined that this will fuck up....

It really isn't the end...

But always thinking and expecting the worst, sigh, only you end up feeling that hurt

I'm so sorry to hear he has let you down This, I really want to feel optimistic about it but I can't think of many circumstances where he couldn't have phoned ahead to let you know or rearrange if he was genuinely busy. What terrible manners, it's such a rude thing to do. What a shame, I really hope there's a good reason for it. I can't imagine how you must be feeling

I agree with Muddle that from now on keep things business like.

I really hope you are ok This, we are all here to give you support for as long as you need it. All the hand holding you could need

When I think I was going to tell him all the nice things I wanted to say. I was thinking about him and his well being. I wanted to share my good vibes with him.

Clearly I am not the voice of reason here, so I will depart.

Good night all and speak soon xx

Please don't be angry with me Crazy!

That's the worst part isn't it This you had such good intentions, I'd go as far as calling them beautiful. What a lovely thought, to take the time to share how you feel towards them.
I'm so sorry he hasn't treat you the way you deserve to be. It's awful and quite confusing when people don't act in a way you understand

No no not angry at all... good night xx

I hear where you are coming from Duchess, I really do. But it does seem very late to still be waiting for a call or a text from him!

Good night Duchess! xx

I'm so, so sorry. I feel even worse knowing that Crazy's disappointed with me.

I've been through so much pain these past years which is why I've been so afraid and negative.

I do go with the flow with my friends and family Crazy.

Really not disappointed at all in you - I am incredibly proud of what you have achieved!!

Please take my words as gospel and do not read into them anymore than what I am saying

This, whatever happens, you have acted with great courage, and obtained clarity, though not the kind you hoped for. It may be painful at the moment, but it's a very good thing that you did.

Thank you Crazy and Silvery.

I feel so, so sad.

What did you want to tell him This? Can I tell you some things instead?

You have come so far, look where are you are now compared to a year ago.

You have raised, on your own, amazing children. You have supported your son to achieve amazing things with his music, your daughter is a smart, kind young woman. Your mentions of things they have said and done on this thread show that. You did that This, YOU.

You are a writer, and a brilliant one at that. You take words, those things we all use and take for granted every day, and you make them meaningful to people, and you share that gift with the world.

You escaped a narcissistic man and built an independent life away from him. I know how hard that is, but you bloody well did it, didn't you?

You are kind, you bring such warmth and wiseness to this thread, to strangers you don't even know. You did for me when I was low and I know you have for others. Never underestimate what a difference that makes to people, kindness from one person for one moment can change everything for someone.

You are brave, you were scared to approach B but you went on in there and did it anyway. I so wish I had done that, I wasn't brave enough.

Listen up ThisIs and don't make me use my mum voice. You are a bloody amazing, strong and inspirational woman. You are so much more than a mechanic who was all talk and no action and that lacks manners to boot. You wanted to show him kindness. I am not sure he was worthy of it. But you are, please give some of that kindness and good vibes to yourself, you are so much more deserving of it than he.

Oh, Muddle. I am lost for words. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am just so, so grateful to you. You took all that time to write this for me. I am broken hearted and you have given me great comfort.

Thank you just doesn't express it enough.

Hello this - I've just managed to catch up. I'm sorry to hear that he's not turned up. Might he have lost your number? Do you have his? Would you be able to text him and say something like 'would be great to know if you are coming' (I appreciate its past 10pm now so very late).

I would take that as his answer for now and so next time you see him I'd be polite but distant. If he says 'how are you?' And makes small talk, id just answer politely and leave it. Abit like say standing at the bus stop with random people and talking about the weather sort of politeness. That's it.

No need to think about changing his life with positive affirmations.

Stop talking about him. I didn't talk about my latest crush and over time it's more or less gone. It'll be fine. Have a safe trip over here.

Absolutely brilliant advice apivita!

There's no point me even thinking about this but I cannot work out whether he just didn't give a monkey's or whether he just felt too cowardly to meet me halfway.

sorry but as you can guess, This, I'm with Crazy. You'll feel very foolish writing an 'obituary' to the whole thing if he later texts or calls all apologetic saying he as knackered or that he had to work v.late. It could also be that he's lost your number and thought he'll visit tomorrow. Yes, it's not great he didn't text in advance but I think he thought you were very non chalant and wouldn't be upset.
But it can also be that he's got scared about 'what may happen' - in which case he's not the man you want!
I just wouldn't yet jumpo to conclusions. He may text later all apologetic, maybe he stupidly fell asleep or something!

I did give him my number on a scrap of paper. He might have lost it. I don't have his.

He just doesn't give two hoots about me and I have spent four months dreaming about somebody who I respected.

I am willing to learn from what Crazy thinks about me but I don't want to learn that it's unwise to give a part of one's hopes and heart to somebody. I really thought, to some extent, he respected me.

PGtips I'm leaving tomorrow for England and if he remembers that he knows he cannot call.

I think I have just made a huge fool of myself for four months.

Despite Muddle's beautiful words I feel unworthy at the moment although her thoughts have really warmed my heart. In this respect, at least.

well you know it was exactly the same with my guy This - thinking about him for 6mnths albeit less close contact than you had, and he gave me some encouragement by the end and then - no response so doesn't give a damn. Yes I know he's not single (didn't know that to start with) but then why give me all these looks (and some responses) on the last two occasions? I think men just love their ego being flattered even when they have no intention to act, that's my conclusion. And even if it is all out own fault for having hopes, it still hurts when they don't give a hoot.

But isn't this is what it's always like? We may be Sybils (all of us on this thread, except Sweeney perhaps - though hmm that dress), but we are not omnicient. Sometimes the image matches the "reality", sometimes not.

I think I have just made a huge fool of myself for four months.

same here again!
But I think you may still get an explanation, pretty sure of it, whether the explanation is good enough or not that's another matter! He could have lost your number or fallen sleep - embarassing for him. So don't yet conclude about lack of respect.
He can still text if you are away - or call in the morning, but it could be later today.