I've met someone and I don't know how to finish this title.

[ProfessorPickles]

I apologise for the terrible thread title, but I didn't have a clue what to go with and could no longer ask your advice
I still like train edition but didn't want to use it incase it's terrible, which it probably is.

So here we are, part three of the 'I've met someone' saga.
The first thread was very positive and exciting, the second was mostly negative for all of us and here we are starting the third!

Let's make it a good one!

Yes, he got under my skin, Muddle. That's exactly it. And that hasn't happened for a very long time.

I hope we can 'chat' soon. Thank you so much.

Enjoy this

I've made a decision

That's good, are you happy with your decision?

Hi This, I'm so sorry to hear things didn't go as well today. My first thought was that he isn't interested and is messing you about by telling you to decide etc. But the way you've said he was so sympathetic in now he spoke makes me wonder if he's got mixed up about what you were intending for Monday. Does he think you are asking him to do some jobs for you or something? I'm a little confused about how he has reacted today.

I bet your head is allover the place

Prof I've felt dreadful. But I'm with a friend having a few drinks. She tells me I've self sabotaged the situation. For B he was coming over on Monday and I basically told him to forget it. It's your decision means I'm clear what I want but I will respect your decision. She said to me that he agreed to seeing me without knowing why I wanted to see him. How many men would do that? He's supposing wrongly that I might be needing him to help me again. I have reached a decision though...

I'm really pleased that your friend is with you, I can see why you reacted the way you did if he was repeatedly saying its up to you. I think I would've taken that as being uninterested, especially if the tone wasn't right.

What is your decision This?

I am here!

So this what is your decision??

But this is what drives me mad Prof. He changes when he's at work. As soon as it's just him and I he opens up and is completely different. He was emphasisin that it was MY decision. Whether he was tired or not after a long weekend of car rally is not the point. He was willing but it's up to you. That was his message.

Can i be so bold and ask why - when you know what a stress head he apparently is and you know how different he can be at work - are you seemingly ready to shut it all down?? You've said yourself he can be a grumpy old man (maybe not quite those words) but the purpose of Monday was to see what opportunity there was between you two??

Would I be so terrible if I said to try and cut him some slack?

I personally do not see it as him wanting you to do all the chasing, I think it is just typical of him when stressed he mentally shuts down. I can be a lot like that and come across as a miserable bitch.

Some of use haven't really learnt to deal with stress appropriately

I hope I have not come across as harsh

Just read the update...First of all I think it's a shame you didn't suggest yesterday to meet up after work instead of postponing to Monday. Of course I don't know if either of you were too busy yest evening, but if you struch while the iron was hot (he was open and relaxed) I think you'd have already been somewhere much closer to clarity!
Today, I agree you were not direct enough - instead of asking 'how aer we to communicate' should have really said 'here's my number, call me to arrrange when you know when you'll be free on Monday', or asked him to have his number possibly. I said earlier that he is just waiting for the initiative from you - he feels a bit unconfident which is USUAL wit hmuch younger men especially with strong capable women like yourself. I think that the fact you declined his offer to come over (again, I wouldn't in that situation, but I know you have your reasons) - you should have offreed something else either yesterday ior today. Instead it was you in the asking question mode, while he literaly was waiting for instructions.

Also important - what was his tone and expression when he was saying 'as you like it' and 'I"m here to help'?

You have made an excellent point Crazy. Will you still be up in 5 minutes? I'm almost home.

I realise that my translation of our terrible communication conversation into English did not set the right tone. "C'est comme tu veux" was said in an emphatic, clear way. I will respect your decision even if it goes against what I want.

Having said all that he wasn't that great either in this conversation - i.e. he could have said 'I'd like to meet up' or 'I'll be tired but I can still meet up with you' especially as you were talking about a short meeting. He's sort of too detached which would irritate me too. But it sort of makes sense because he was much more forthcoming yesterday but his offer to come over got declined so probably he's extra-sensitive to any rejection afer the split from his GF. Ypu'd have to be exta patient and to get to know how he 'works' - whether you want to, well listen to your instincts! IME these decisions tend to change after a day or two passes (if negative) , see how you feel tomorrow.
Also how would you contact him about Monday if you do decide over he weekend that you want to meet still? phone him at work?

I'm still here for half hour, This.

Yup still here :(

Lol I meant :)

PGtips I'll be back in 5 minutes.

prof and muddle etc. My initial reaction was "won't you be too tired after your exhausting weekend?" He repeated, despite my negative comments such as "let's just forget about it" 3 or 4 times with a very clear and decisive voice "it's your decision". PGTIPS i couldn't go last night because I had the children at home. And he's away from this evening until tomorrow morning.

I'm home. Will answer about Monday in 2 mins.

I agree with PG that he doesn't sound very confident either.

Maybe too many mixed signals over 24hrs??

I agree with PG that he doesn't sound very confident either.

Maybe too many mixed signals over 24hrs??

Sorry away until Monday morning.

yeah you shouldn't have said 'let's forget about it' - was it his tome you didn't like? something must have jarred on you.

tone, obv

I know he's away till Mon - I was only wondering about last night, but that's not the most important point anyway.