So bit of history... Met bf 5 yrs ago at NCT group and our dd's are best friends.
My relationship with dp has been up and down for a few years due to various circumstances, one of them being his moods and depression and lack of sex drive and multiple losses in the family.
So last summer my friends dp became my friend too by hanging out with us when he was on shifts. I found him to be a bit of a pain and a bit loud to be honest and it sort of encroached on our time having chats about nothing in particular!
Anyway he started to offer me lifts when my dp was at work and dc were at school, shopping etc.
completely innocent in my eyes.
Then something changed and I began to like him more than a friend.
I am very very ashamed of this. He's not my "type" and a lot younger than me and eventually the inevitable happened.
I felt sick, cut all contact and backed off from friend in shame.
Have seen him quite a bit since in group outings and remained civil.
He told me lots of secrets that I wish I never knew, like experimenting with men while his dp was out, having numerous affairs etc.
She is totally oblivious and is like a slave to him, is totally obidient for want of a better word and loves the bones of him.
Within the last week he sent me a message, extremely long and told me he's tried to suppress his feelings but can't and is totally in love with me. I do not feel the same.
I admit there is a spark though I cannot work out why, maybe it's the attention he paid me, made me feel beautiful and wanted. Ridiculous.
What do I do?? I feel physically sick.
To make it even worse he's friends with my dp.
Sorry for such long post, been bottling this up for over a year.
I know I deserve the responses I'm expecting but need help, thanks for reading.