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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Partner is always horrible to me when I'm ill

118 replies

CopperPot · 23/06/2016 12:10

Awful cold, cough, banging headache and fevdr for 3 days now. Plus my period just started and toddler and 6 month old to watch.

He says it's because of the way I talk to him- i got annoyed at him slamming stuff yesterday when I asked him to hold baby while I made breakfast for toddler and made bottles up. And that he's not a mind reader- how would he know to make me a tea/snack/bring Meds?

I'm just tired of it and feel even worse now. Anyone else have a partner who hates it when you're ill?

OP posts:
CakeNinja · 23/06/2016 21:09

Obviously yourself too, but you can defend yourself more so than a completely helpless and defenceless child.

spankhurst · 23/06/2016 21:13

Holy crap woman, either get yourself and the kids out of that house, or get him out! I would have murdered DH ifhe'd done that to DS. A massive LTB with neon

flashing knobs on.

FarelyKnuts · 23/06/2016 21:15

He just punched your child. Your small innocent 3 year old. And then refused to go near him to apologise because he was 'restraining himself for doing or saying something he might regret'... When someone tells you what they're like, believe them! He'd already done something he should have regretted. And instead of remorse he continued to rage.
If you don't remove your child from this what do you think he'll do next time he's angry with him?

cosmicquiteprobably · 23/06/2016 21:15

My STBXH left me because he couldn't cope with my thyroid disease. It had to be removed, and totally buggered life up for a while. I was anxious, exhausted and depressed.
Once I started to function again, he fucked off and left me with the kids. No other explanation, except he'd been unhappy since I was ill.

Oh, and when I survived without him, he accused me of being untruthful about my illness.
I was probably supposed to die.

Sometimes people are selfish shits.

cosmicquiteprobably · 23/06/2016 21:19

I hadn't RT whole FT. Sorry.
He is a massive entitled twat who doesn't deserve you, or his children. What a total prick.
Handholding.
Please PM me if you want to rant. I know what it feels like, and it's shit.FlowersFlowers

Lonnysera · 23/06/2016 21:30

Oh my goodness. OP you're out of choices. You can't stay with him.

And you're refusing to answer the repeated questions about him calling you a cunt in earshot of your dad.

I don't particularly get on with my own father but he would go fucking nuclear if he'd heard that.

Original poster
CopperPot · 23/06/2016 21:41

Sorry dealing with baby whow is very difficult at night I'm reading though thank you. You're all helping. My mum is minimising saying you stay calm and that we are going through a bad patch (she just doesn't want us on her doorstep probabl)

OP posts:
Hislopssloppyseconds · 23/06/2016 21:41

You could get this moved to relationships OP.

You can do this on your own, with DC of course. You really can.

Original poster
CopperPot · 23/06/2016 21:43

I won't let me son ever be harmed again. He is my first priority

OP posts:
Original poster
CopperPot · 23/06/2016 21:44

I feel awful ithe happened in front of me but I wasn't quick enough to stop it

OP posts:
Lonnysera · 23/06/2016 21:57

Keep talking OP. Where is he now?

Lonnysera · 23/06/2016 21:57

And what did your dad do when he called you a cunt?

Original poster
CopperPot · 23/06/2016 21:58

I said up thread I'm not sure he heard but he heard us arguing as he came and stopped it.

He's in spare room probably gaming.

OP posts:
Lonnysera · 23/06/2016 22:00

Sorry I missed that. Gosh I'm so sorry you're going through this. What sort of a man punches a child?

Original poster
CopperPot · 23/06/2016 22:03

The kind who had fist fights with his crazy mother I guess. She used to wind him up on purpose. He has a short fuse now. I can see why he's like that but my children won't suffer.
I want to report it to 101 but I know I'll have SS shit storm if I do.

OP posts:
Original poster
CopperPot · 23/06/2016 22:03

I would rather just leave and protect ds.

OP posts:
Lonnysera · 23/06/2016 22:09

He hit his mother? Shock

Has he ever been physical with you?

Having SS involved is no bad thing.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 23/06/2016 22:09

I won't let me son ever be harmed again. He is my first priority

How will you prevent it when your partner gets unsupervised access?

SeafrontDreams · 23/06/2016 22:10

SS will see you reporting it as a positive step, it will show that you are protecting your children.

Lonnysera · 23/06/2016 22:12

The thing is, if you do nothing, apart from give him an ear-full and even leave, he'll have got away with it. Sad

neonrainbow · 23/06/2016 22:21

He just punched your tiny child for fucks sake and hes still in the same house? Why haven't you rung the police? He ATTACKED your child!

bakeoffcake · 23/06/2016 22:25

OP you have a duty to protect your son.

If he gets away with this tonight, he will do it again. Do you want your son punched again?

You must phone the police.

Original poster
CopperPot · 23/06/2016 22:25

His mum was physical with him too. Would wake him up with a belt and other fucked up scenarios.

I'm thinking about what to do in the morning. Ds went straight to sleep. I don't want to drag him out of his bed into the rain to go to a hotel really.

OP posts:
Lonnysera · 23/06/2016 22:26

Has he ever hurt you?

Original poster
CopperPot · 23/06/2016 22:26

I would rather he left actually as it's a lot of upheaval for ds and me to go. Why should we.

OP posts: