Partner is always horrible to me when I'm ill

[CopperPot]

Awful cold, cough, banging headache and fevdr for 3 days now. Plus my period just started and toddler and 6 month old to watch.

He says it's because of the way I talk to him- i got annoyed at him slamming stuff yesterday when I asked him to hold baby while I made breakfast for toddler and made bottles up. And that he's not a mind reader- how would he know to make me a tea/snack/bring Meds?

I'm just tired of it and feel even worse now. Anyone else have a partner who hates it when you're ill?

Wait til you feel better and are more resilient to make any changes you want, or have any difficult conversations, OP. It will just be really hard at the moment and you need to concentrate on getting better first. xx

He's a dick. An absolute Grade A Dick. But you know this.

But there is something I can't get my head round. Did your Dad hear him call you a cunt? I may be well off the mark here, but what is the relationship like between your parents? I am making massive leaps here, but if your DDad knows and still adores your DP, is this where you learnt how men treat women?

I apologise in advance if I am way off the mark or have touched too big a nerve. Just wondering if there is a pattern here that you need to break for the sake of your own dc.

I was about to play devil's advocate and suggest (kindly!) that maybe you do get snippy with him hen you're unwell, so he snipes back etc Then I saw he called you a cunt. That, for me, is the lowest of the low and completely unacceptable. It suggests utter contempt and hell would freeze over before I stayed in a relationship with someone who spoke to me like that.

Maybe I am snappy sometimes due to doing every single night feed for 6 months and being ill and on my period and looking after 2 kids...but I wasn't this particular morning. He started slamming things down because I asked him to hold the baby for 10 mins.

Rory mines the same. Hates being asked to do anything but looks after himself like a king. My mw had to tell him to look after me better when I was recovering. He just stayed in the office and didn't take paternity leave.

I'm so done with him. He just punched ds.

Ermmmmm, what??

He did what?? You've got family nearby. Gather up the kids, take them to your parents.

Please get help, call Womens Aid

0808 2000 247

Kick his sorry excuse for an ass out of the house

Or leave

Whichever you do DO IT NOW

Up until your post about your ds I was going to say he sounds like my DH - but mine would never harm our children. I agree with the pp's, get out of there pronto

Fuck leaving, calling woman's aid etc. Phone the police. Get him arrested. Take your ds to the hospital to check he is ok. Get a restraining order. Do not let him have unsupervised contact.

You HAVE to leave him..now..l hope your DS is not badly hurt how old is he?

Dad loves him.

Why? My dad wouldn't love anyone who called me a cunt :(

And he's just punched your ds? WTF? Call the police. He sounds vile.

What Mumoftwo said. Call the police now and get ds to hospital.
And when all of this is sorted, challenge your dad who heard this complete excuse of a human being call you, his daughter, a cunt and did nothing.

He's a vile man. Ds was swinging his teddy around and it hit P in the head and he punched him in the side - not really hard but a closed fist no less. Ds obviously bursts into tears so I turn him around and walk him out the room then spun round and kicked P in the back- wrongoing but it was an involuntary reaction to seeing my child get assaulted. I carry him down to bed as he was tired. He stops crying as soon as we get down to his room.
I told P to go and apologise to ds he said he wasn't ready to as he was 'restraining himself for doing or saying something he might regret'
He eventually goes and talks to ds. He probably placed blame on ds.
He's gone to spare room and I'm feeding baby. Ds is 3.5 and I'm so bewildered and heartbroken for him right now.

When I said you could've broken a rib or damaged him severely and how dangerous it is he said 'it wasn't hard, not as hard as your kick. What a great example you set' I said ds didn't see me.kick you. What a fucking mess.

I'm going to text his dad about it. He thinks he's a fucking angel and would be disgusted.

It's definitely over. I'm not waiting now. I need to protect ds. He's such a good boy. Doesn't deserve this at all. I'm so sad

Dont be sad, be strong & call the police. Hes just assaulted a tiny child.

You need to do more than make him sleep in the spare room and tell on him to his dad. Does your son go to nursery? If he tells them that his dad punched him then what do you think they will do?

I've arrived late to this, but just rtft and just want to say: this needs to be the turning point now. He punched your child. Tbere is no way, ever, that thete can be an excuse for that. If he's doing that to the poor little boy when he's 3, what will he be capable of when he's 5/10/15? Protect your children and get rid of that pathetic excuse for a father. You poor woman. Keep posting, everyone here will support you, but for your children's sake keep them safe and leave him.

Is he likely to be violent or aggressive again tonight? He's already hit your DS, if you and the children are in danger you should call the police. Or leave then call the police when you are safely somewhere else. You need to protect your children and yourself.

I'm sorry, you need to put your children first and fix this.
This is not fair for them.