LO father put me in impossible predicament

[isobel79]

Hi all
just need to vent.
so I get pregnant in august last year for a Nigerian man. Assuming that all is OK and that he is allowed to stay and work in this country he tells me in January of this year that he isn't allowed to work. I was so pissed off. LO is born March. I tell father I ain't putting him on any legal documents which I didn't. I just didn't feel right and my gut was telling me something wasn't right.

Anyway he comes to me three weeks ago saying he needs help and that his lawyer says his name needs to go on birth certificate. I said I want to see all his paperwork.

Today he comes with his paperwork and I find out he is married to an eu lady by proxy. U can imagine my disbelief. I had no idea. I find out he isn't meant to be in the UK as of July last year.

So the man who I thought was genuine is a fraud. Only good thing to come out of this is LO.

I am not going to help him. Why should I feel pressured to help him. Is LO his last resort. I'm not going to lie for him. Why didn't he come to me with this when I first told him I was pregnant. He leaves it till nearly 12 months later.

Whats the general consensus? What would you mom's do?

I'm sooooooooooooo betrayed!!!!

Thanks

Thanks so much SoUnsureMaybe I will let u know thank u

Sandy how do I PM you?

Sandy I have PM u

What SoUnsure is saying is right and he will be deported if he doesn't get his way with you (unless he chooses to go missing). Are you happy to have your child's father completely absent from his life? Once he's been deported you'll never see or hear from him again. You might never see him again either way and he certainly doesn't seem to be interested in the child.
If i were you I would stay well clear and thank your lucky stars you listened to your instinct and didn't put him on the birth certificate.

In spite of everything, I agree that you should try and find out more about his heritage and background for your child's sake.

When your child grows up, they will want to know this and the lack of knowledge leads to them having an identity crisis in later life sometimes.

Knowing your roots is very important for everyone.

Get forwarding details so you can send picture updates from time to time.

I can tell you that being deported doesn't mean he won't return to the UK. There are ways and means and I've seen deportees return before now.

His mum might be a good link, because grandmothers tend to love their grandchildren regardless of the situation.

I'm 37 and to this day I'm not 100% sure who my dad is. Notwithstanding that I didn't want the same for my lo but my lo supposed father has made the decision for me by continually lying. I will try and keep in touch with him if I want to. His mom lives in Nigeria. When I asked him if his mom knew of his "marriage " he said he hasn't told her anything. Now why wouldn't he tell his mom that!!!!!!

He has done wrong. He is here illegally. Having a child or not he is is still here illegally and that's what it boils down to. He should have been honest with me from the day I told him I was expecting. That was august 2015!!!!

So it's harsh but I have to be strong for me and my lo why should I be blackmailed into putting myself in a position to help him. He hasn't even said he wants to stay for my child just for himself.

You say your baby was meant to be... maybe he was meant to be as the reason this man could escape deportation?

The one thing children are NOT meant to be is any form of crutch for a parent...

Iknownuffink might be worth reporting then.

I'm just disappointed in myself for letting this man into my life I just want him to go

How did you meet him? Was he at the birth?

Met him online. He didn't make the birth as I went into labour early. I was meant to be induced and he was coming for that but lo decided to come 4 days early. He doesn't live in the same city as me he lives 2hrs away.

You say your baby was meant to be... maybe he was meant to be as the reason this man could escape deportation?

How are you doing Hun?? XxX

can u effing believe it?. No.

Floggingmolly what do u mean?

SoUnsureMaybe I will PM u in 10 mins thanks for checking on me.