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Relationships

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Original poster

Sleeping with someone on a first date....can I get a poll?

120 replies

monkeychop · 11/06/2016 16:56

did you have sex with your DP on first date and did it a) lead to a relationship or b) he/she lose interest straight after? Just interested really?

OP posts:

20thcenturybitch · 12/06/2016 19:46

Yup. Wasn't planned and wasn't my usual style, but I must have known he was different as been together ever since (16years - married 12)

JeepersMcoy · 12/06/2016 19:51

If I like someone I generally will sleep with them on the first date. I have never understood the whole idea that you need to string a man along to keep him interested. If they lose interest after having sex than it's better to find this out sooner rather than later in my view. Also at least that way I get a good seeing to out of it. :o

I slept with dh on our first date and we have now been together over 9 years.

M00nUnit · 12/06/2016 19:54

I slept with my DH on our first date. We've been married 3 years. My best mate slept with her DH on their first date and they've been married over 20 years.

DerelictMyBalls · 12/06/2016 20:19

We didn't even get to the date part, just went straight to bed, and hardly left it for the next few weeks! We have been together for 15 years now, married nearly 10 years.

I have always gone to bed on the first date: there's no point getting together if you're not sexually compatible. I'd be so crushed if I spent weeks/months getting to know and like someone only to find out they were a disappointment in the sack.

mixety · 12/06/2016 20:28

No. Both times I slept with someone v quickly I couldn't say it was on the first 'date' as they weren't dates, they were people I met at parties. However, neither one developed into any kind of relationship, although I'd have liked them to.

With DP we slept together on our 2nd/3rd date, depending on which of our encounters you define as dates or not. It has lasted 7 years so far. However I honestly believe we'd still be here together if we'd slept together on the first date.

Imnotbilly · 12/06/2016 21:14

I had a 3some with 2 guys I used to work with, married one of them and now have 2 dc.

Ihatechoosingnames · 12/06/2016 21:20

I knew DH socially (met up as groups of friends on nights out a few times) and slept with him originally as a one night stand. Had our first date a week or so later. Been together almost 5 years now and have 2 children.

whimsical1975 · 12/06/2016 21:30

No, he tried but I wasn't having it! He completely respected my decision and have been married 12 years!

Goingtobeawesome · 13/06/2016 12:39

Reading some of these posts makes me realise most people don't care how many people they sleep with. I have a new hang up to add to my issues.

LordoftheTits · 13/06/2016 13:03

I've made guys wait and then they've left afterwards anyway - there's no guarantee! Sometimes waiting longer makes them enjoy the chase and gives them more satisfaction when they finally "get" you.

I slept with DH on the second date and it all worked out fine!

SueTrinder · 14/06/2016 22:05

Reading some of these posts makes me realise most people don't care how many people they sleep with.

I think there is a difference between self destructive promiscuity and people who are sexually confident who aren't influenced by religious teaching who might sleep with people quickly but actually have very few partners because those they do sleep with they tend to form LTRs with.

But really, what number is acceptable to you? One? Less than 10? Or is the number irrelevant? I had a friend who had an affair and left her husband for the other man. She said to me 'Well, I've still slept with fewer people than you!' I was amazed that she thought sleeping with only 2 men while being married to one of them and shagging the other behind his back was better than my serial monogamy? That's fucked-up priorities.

heyday · 14/06/2016 22:22

Wouldn't dream of it. I like to get to know a person first. I am terrified of sexual diseases too so would avoid first date sex at all costs.

MrsSchadenfreude · 14/06/2016 23:07

Date? We had a shag after a party, then another shag the next night and it went on from there. I think we went out to dinner a few weeks into our shagfest. Married 23 years...

Goingtobeawesome · 15/06/2016 08:09

I wasn't criticising anyone SueTrinder, but thinking about my feelings about it. Clearly cheating is worse than a few lovers.

YouMakeMyDreams · 15/06/2016 08:23

Yeah we are married now.
Dh and I were both divorced when we met so I'd been back out on the dating scene and I discovered some men will lose interest after sex whether you do it on the first date or the tenth. I met men that were very charming and persistent that I didn't sleep with immediately but never heard from again after I did and did have sex on the first date and continued dating. I don't think it matters much if the guy is open to a relationship he is regardless of whether you jump into bed on the first date. Although dh wasn't looking for serious neither was I but we had no intention of dating other people we just didn't plan on moving in together or marrying again. Thank God we ignored that.

eatsleephockeyrepeat · 15/06/2016 08:36

I hit OLD after my divorce and slept with dp on our third date; what a cliche!

In my 20s I used to be of the opinion (expressed by previous posters) that sex was fun and if the opportunity was there and I wanted to take it why not! It's probably fair to say I found the sex more important than the "who" I'd had sex with.

Then when I put myself back on the dating scene I found things had changed, and that having had even the most mind-blowing sex wasn't worth it to have had it with a complete and total wanker. There were a few times when I went on to find out someone was, by my standards, a fucking psycho tosspot (or similar) and I'd be cursing myself that I'd shared myself - my wonderful bloody self! - with such a tool. Regardless of the quality of the sex I'd rather not have done it at all in retrospect; ugh; these are men I wouldn't have given them the rubbish from my bins had I known them better.

So... I went for just waiting until I could be fairly sure they weren't heinous. It's pretty easy to have a game face the first few dates; I like to wait until I'm sure the walls are down and I'm not drinking with the devil. They don't have to be amazing or "the one" or any of that crap, just someone I want to sleep with and not a total dick :D

MariposaUno · 15/06/2016 11:04

Not on first but 2nd or 3Rd date's ☺ usually after speaking for a while,and a couple ons.

I don't think about it,sex is just sex until you meet the man with chemistry then it becomes dare I say make love (boke) / fantastic sex with the emotions included.

Sex is a desire/bodily function that people can choose to please themselves with or choose it be something sacred and carefully given.

For me it's only important in monogamous relationships, outside of that have fun.

It's personal choice and neither affects the outcome.

autumnleaves123 · 15/06/2016 13:02

We kissed the first night we met. We didn't have sex on first date, but on third or fourth date, which is pretty close. We're still together after nearly 20 years. (His friends who were there when we met still call it "the ONS that went on for too long :))

I don't think having sex on the first date will determine whether the relationship will last or not, especially in the UK - in other cultures is a lot more risky to do that if you want a relationship to last - and if you are sure you want it, it can be fun.

MumOnACornishFarm · 15/06/2016 13:10

Yes and I went home 4 days later!! Now THAT'S a date. We met online and spent weeks emailing and chatting on the phone before meeting. Moved to a different county together after 6 months. Together 8 years now, with DC2 on the way

LBOCS2 · 15/06/2016 13:13

Yep. It wasn't even a date - we knew the same people and hooked up on a night out.

Got married 11 months later, been together 7 years now. No regrets at all :)

Honestly, do what you feel comfortable with. And use a condom :)

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