Sleeping with someone on a first date....can I get a poll?

[monkeychop]

did you have sex with your DP on first date and did it a) lead to a relationship or b) he/she lose interest straight after? Just interested really?

I've been on dates that ended up being a ONS but it was always me who lost interest after!

With my now DP we waited a couple of months and with my exH he made me wait!

I view it the same way Bollocks - sex is fun, and I was never one to pass up on an opportunity. Don't like it when its viewed as such a big important 'thing' in a relationship, too much pressure I think.

Surely if you shag someone on the first date and it doesn't work out you can't just pin it on the fact that it's because they 'got what they wanted'. You don't know them, they don't know you. Loads of people don't bother again after the first date.

Think I'd known my husband for abou an hour before we snuck off into a bedroom...

DH is the only person I've ever had sex with and the first time was on our second date I've asked him before "did you think I was a slag because I put out on the second date?!"......he's reassured me he didn't think that luckily!

Sex on our first date? Good God, no! The thought would never have even entered my head!

We did things the old-fashioned way - went out together for a few months, decided we wanted to be together, got engaged, saved up for 2 years, got married, then had sex.

I can't help but feel that people give themselves away rather too easily nowadays. I don't think waiting till one is married is a particularly good idea either though! Probably better to "try before you buy", so to speak!

Yes and been married 25 years next month!

Slept with DH before we actually had a date! Been together 15 years.

Did it once but it was someone I had already worked with for a year if that counts. It lasted a few years.

Didn't DTD with DP for a few weeks.

I don't know if I would DTD with someone I'd just met one a first date (as in met them for the first time on the first date). I can't imagine being that overcome by lust that wasn't being driven by the guy IYKWIM, which would make me think he was only after one thing and would put me off doing it.

60's I've always put out a bit too soon , always first or second date Even Ex H (can't bring myself to put in the 'D' - there's a pun there somewhere! ) who I was with for 14 years, but he turned out to be a sex addict so I'm sure the not having to wait was a positive thing for him
However after divorce I'm now entering the realms of dating again. I'm not in my 20's anymore and I'm hoping my libido may have calmed down a little but actually not holding out much hope of that, because well ....if you really fancy them its only natural to want to really, isn't it?

I don't think it makes a blind bit of difference.
If a man is put off by you agreeing to have sex on the first night, then he's a twat.
If he's only interested in the chase, he's a twat.
If making him wait changes his opinion of you, then he's a twat.

Have sex when you both want to have sex, whether that is within minutes of meeting or waiting until after marriage (though I really don't get that!)

I can't help but feel that people give themselves away rather too easily nowadays.

I can't help but feel that this is an old fashioned view of female sexuality, with the taking of your virginity as some sort of prize that was the reward for patience. That may have been necessary in the days before effective contraceptives and antibiotics but these days I think it's fine for women to want sex as much as men.

Agree with PPs that when you have sex does not determine how long the relationship will last. The only boyfriend I didn't have sex with in the first month was my first boyfriend when I was 17, after him sex was something I did pretty early on in a relationship but I didn't really do dates either. All my boyfriends were friends first so I guess I already knew them well enough. Had a couple of ONS but didn't go into them thinking they were anything other than a ONS. And actually I knew those men as friends first as well.

Yep,been together 27 years.

No. And wouldnt personally. Though poss should have saved a lot of heartache but roadxtesting him first!
He's a fumbler, bad chemistry, tries too hard, arrogant yet inexperienced with bizarre if not misigynistic attitudes towards women. and not v attractive. We're divorcing.

80s I think that outlook on it has a lot to do with "the times" and what kind of value family place on instilling that into their children. I was raised in a religious family, and was taught from a young age "why would he buy the cow, when he can get the milk for free?".....still didn't stop me though My poor grandma would be mortified if she found out I wasn't a virgin on my wedding day.....I wore white too

Yes and relationship lasted years.
However I made my current dp wait weeks even for a kiss and it made a big difference imo

clara a difference in what way?

Depends on how many STDS you want to gather, don't fancy loads myself.

thisisnow

You do realise you are allowed to wear a condom on a first date right?

Because I told dp I want taking any shit and I meant it. It was a bit of a test. I was a bit wary of being played and he was a bit risky they way back then but in hindsight it may have made no difference whatsoever - we are very in love and ashes an amazing step dad a year on

Oh yes. Here we are 12 and a half years later, nearly 11 years married, 3 children. Still think he's hot, still would definitely do him on a first date.

Met, slept with and moved in all in one night (in that I never went home again). Together 21 years now, married 16.

What bollocks said!!!

the ones where we waited were all a huge disappointment when it got to the sex.

of course I've had bad relationships that also started with sex.

but I'd rather not waste time getting to know someone when they are just crap in bed

Bit of a different situation as we "dated' online for 6 months before we met (LDR) so after travelling 2000 miles for our girst actual mert up we jumped straight into bed yeah!
Still together a year later.

Umbongo yes because condoms never break and cover all STDS?? I think not.