Sleeping with someone on a first date....can I get a poll?

[monkeychop]

did you have sex with your DP on first date and did it a) lead to a relationship or b) he/she lose interest straight after? Just interested really?

Fair dos monkey !

I've had three ONS, two leading to long-term relationships, and one where he lived abroad so it was clear from the get-go that it was never going to be anything more. Didn't with DH for logistical reasons; this (him being the exception) is emphatically not the reason he is now my DH

Didn't know my partners well enough to do it - they could have turned out to be stalkers/maniacs for all I knew, so no.

Yes, I did, but had been introduced very briefly to him the previous night. Friend of a friend. We have been married 10 years now.

Salene that is the funniest thing I've heard all night. Brilliant!! So glad it had a happy ending!

Thank you for this thread monkey chop as it makes it clear that there are absolutely loads of us, when I thought I was the only one! I never revealed it before and felt embarrassed to tell anyone else which I realise is silly and ridiculous.
It absolutely wasn't planned, but it just happened and here we are 11 years later, married and 1dd.

Monkeychop we met on internet I was his first date ever and he was my 21st date. He said he was like a rabbit caught in the headlights and didn't know what else to do but run . Wimp he is 😜

Met at a party. Had sex then the first date followed. Together 12y+ married for 10

No, dated first for several weeks/months. Sex was something you only had once you got to know someone and trusted them. It was considered far too intimate to do on the first date.

Must admit, when I went to uni, I was surprised to find people had a much more relaxed atmosphere to sex. Think I lived ina more sheltered environment.

My friend always had a no sleep on first day rule and made them wait but in her experience it didn't make any difference whether she made them wait or slept on first date whether they stayed in touch so I'm not sure.

Nope, didn't even kiss on the first date. But then we were only 15 and 16! Waited about 5 months - still together and about to get married 8 years later.

"I think people give it away too early"
It's not a prize to be given away, it's a mutual pleasure to enjoy.

The STD argument is a red herring. You can have sex with a man on the first date but still sleep with fewer men over several years than a woman who insists on waiting for several months. Unless you are planning on living a celibate lifestyle, there is a risk of STDs. You can mitigate that by practising safe sex and limiting the number of sexual partners you have. How soon you choose to sleep with them is irrelevant.

Having discovered that my husband of 20+ years had been sleeping around, with women who had other partners, whose partners might have had other partners ... definitely more concerned about the stalker/maniac aspect myself. Though obviously you can't protect yourself against that entirely either, I'd still rather wait a bit ....

Had 3 ONS, which were very obviously only going to be that. Not much chemistry with any of them TBH.

Did DTD with DH on the first date, huge chemistry, still together 9 years later.

Most of my relationships haven't involved DTD on the first date though. I think the longest dating time was 9 months before DTD!

No. Left it a long and meaningful 5 days.

Its personal as to when you have sex. I like to wait and get to know them a little first as I need some chemistry to go on, or it isn't pleasurable for me.

Very sensible posts by AnecdotalEvidence. If somebody has an STDS it is not going to become non-contagious because you went on a few dates first.

The posters who have been together for 25+ years have presumably not had a great number of ONS in the meantime so the fact that things moved quickly 25+ years ago hardly seems very worrying.

Me and my fiancé waited a month on agreement

We waited 19 days here. No particular reason for that length of time. Still together over 14 years later.

Yes and still together 26 years later

I'm with WhatALoadOfBollocks would rather sleep with someone as soon as possible. With my now exh it was date 3 (though I was only 19).

Currently single so need to find out if someone is a crap shag as quickly as possible and make a swift exit.

I did with my current partner, but he was the only one. The connection was so strong. It still is.

Yes to STBXH (13 year relationship)

Yes to DP 1.5 year relationship.

No, we waited. and are still together thirteen years later (married ten years)

Nope he only got a peck on the cheek on the first date i made him wait 2 months for sex because I was pretty damaged from a previous bad relationship.
I did have a ONS once but I dont rate it 😀

Not just the first night but within the first 10 minutes of our first date. Poor chap didn't know what hit him but I'd been celibate for 6 years and once the genie was out of the bottle there was no going back. And he has such a sexy voice. That was 2.5 years ago. Hoping to get married later this year.