I feel like a bunny boiler but...

[Rup3rt]

So I met a guy, we went on a date a couple of nights ago which went really really well (he said so as well so wasn't just me haha) ... Since said date we have been texting pretty much constantly (obvious gaps when we are busy/asleep etc but generally have always been messaging)

Yesterday, business as usual, I had work in the evening and as I was going into work his last text was us discussing our second date and him saying he wants to take me somewhere really nice and that he's gutted he won't be able to see me for over a week. I reply then go into work... Come out of work, and had a message from him in reply... And then another message just making general chit chat about 2 hours before. Replied when I got home... And he opened it and ignored it! But at the time, I didn't think much of it. He was moving house that day and was probably busy. I'm sure I'd hear from him later. But later, this morning, nothing. But he had been posting on Facebook last night, an emotional post about him moving house. So, I liked it then sent him a message saying aww did the move go well then? Are you feeling all emotional? ... And again! Open message, no reply!

So my question is, would it be weird to maybe give him until later this evening and if I don't hear ask him? I'm not normally like this after a first date and feel like a bit of a bunny boiler, but I just don't understand how you can go from planning a second date and all the like, to not even dignifying my messages with a response, all in the space of 2 hours?? I'm not thinking an angry rant or anything, perhaps just a little sort of 'jokey message' like 'was it something I said?' ... I guess it's more for my sanity than anything really as I know deep down its hardly going to change anything... I am just going out of my mind trying to work out why the hell he has just done such a u turn all of a sudden and whether it really is something I've done?? I don't think he's ever completely ignored my messages!

I will be fine. I'm not really that bad with drunk texting to be honest!

Urgh, the worst part about all this is that I bought a new car charger which was in my handbag and his phone was running low so I let him use it and forgot it. I'm never gonna see that again am I and I won't lower myself to asking for it back!!

What eatsleephockeyrepeat said. If you detect a change then it has changed. Sorry. Write the car charger off and no more texting. If he does text, you could though reply, "Sorry, who is this?" - for your own ego and satisfaction - then delete and block.

Oh man, any time I find myself missing the 'excitement' of dating now that I'm in a relationship, I just need to read a thread like this! I do NOT miss that awful 'what did I do?' feeling that can just totally consume you after a guy pulls off a vanishing act!

I used to live with a male flatmate who would endlessly have to listen to my rants about guys like this, while I pestered him to answer my questions on behalf of the entire world's population of straight men! I asked him about this so many times. Why would a guy give off so many signals that he was keen, then just suddenly stop texting? Or why would he disappear for days and then send a cutesy 'how's it going?' message as if nothing had happened?

The only good advice my flatmate ever had was that I was trying to apply logic to something where there was none. You can't always rationalise every bit of someone's behaviour. They might text non-stop for days because they really like you, or because they're bored and have nothing better to do. They might stop texting because they're busy, or because they simply just don't feel like it any more.

All I can say is that, if he's making you feel this bad about yourself now, after only one date, then he's not worth it. I'm an over-thinker too, and I totally get it, but I really believe that when a guy's right for you, all that arbitrary 'wait three days to text back' and constant self-doubt goes out of the window. I met my boyfriend at the end of last year, after about ten fun-but-exhausting months being very active on the 'dating' scene. We were texting into the wee small hours every night before we met, and after our first date it was exactly the same. I've never had a single moment of questioning whether or not I should wait a certain number of hours before replying to his message, or any of that bollocks.

Have a fab night out tonight and forget all about him!

I have no doubt he will be in touch at some point, he isn't just going to disappear completely. But don't let him mess you around, and play him at his own game. Childish I know but satisfying.

What's that MN maxim - don't make someone a priority when you are an option to them.

Something like that, anyway.

It's not playing a game, or a game back, to not respond to future comms from him ; it is protecting yourself. He's shown he's not that bothered, don't be bothered back.

Leave your right arm phone at home tonight?

Just whatever you do, don't pose in stupid poses on FB, to show him what he's missing, he'll know it's for his benefit & inflate his ego. Drunk texts, would be a disaster as well. Why not leave your phone at home?

Do let us know when / if he responds.

You read my mind oyster....

I'm so nosey

He's gone in a huff because he sent the two texts you couldn't reply to until you finished work I reckon. Get him to fuck if he is playing little games like this already you will only be in for more confusion and upset and things progress. He clearly is ignoring you when he's been on fb.

Hmmmmm so, we have an update.

I received a text from him about half 8 saying sooooo you've been ignoring me all day? I left it for a bit then just said 'I messaged you last night??' And he said 'well ive not seen it. But glad to hear that anyway because I was gonna try and play it cool but yeah I was getting pretty annoyed! I would never ignore you, I quite like you'

I responded with 'well glad to hear you wouldn't ignore me! I was concerned for the welfare of my car charger'

I might be being a nob here but surely if my snapchat says he's opened the message he's seen it?? I think he may be playing 'treat em mean keep em keen here'

I'll go against the grain and say send the text. Ask a straight question and hopefully get a straight answer. If he doesn't reply this time it'll give you some closure. And don't blame yourself for wanting to know where you stand. All the stuff about scaring men off is the kind of bollocks 'The Rules' was wittering on about decades ago. If he likes you, he likes you, and another text won't change that.

Oh, missed your last post but red flags leapt out at me. He sounds like he might be a bit of a headworker - pretending he didn't get your messages and then accusing you of ignoring him! Be on your guard OP.

He is telling lies and as I wrote up thread he thought you were ignoring him before and decided to ignore you. I knew it! Delete him. He is a confused person and doesn't know what he wants.

I find snap chat quite unreliable actually so I would be inclined to give him the Benefit of the doubt!

If you liked him you should just move past this stumbling block, but just be on high alert for any other potential red flags x

I just don't like the fact that he said he 'quite' likes you! I mean it's early days but why say anything? Talk about damning with faint praise there, and you're right that the chances he actually didn't read your messages are extremely slim. I would trust your instincts on this, he doesn't sound very genuine unfortunately.
Just get your charger back and bin him off

Keep busy and if you don't hear from him over the next week then move on. You sound like you're ready to meet someone genuine and he sounds like he's unsure.

I would totally say "I quite like you" as a coy and flirty way of saying "I LIKE YOU", so no problem with that here.

I'm reconsidering my position in light of recent developments. It's entirely possible this guy's a player... But I have no experience of Snap Chat and pp says it's possible so I'd say that remains open... Ultimately you sound like a sensible individual who wouldn't have a lot to lose carrying on with this budding romance for the time being, certainly until you have a bit more insight into his character.

Be wary of 24/7 texting after one date though, yeah? If nothing else you open yourself up to all kinds head-fuckery. More for you, it's been a stressful 24 hours!

I've never seen snapchat say something has been read when it hasn't. Doesn't mean it doesn't happen, but if it hasn't happened to you before, i don't think it's likely that it did here..

And what about your second message? Did both mysteriously go missing? Have any previous messages not been received?

He sounds like trouble if I'm honest.

He is a wanker. Of course he got your messages. Move on. You met him once. It really isn't that important.

eatsleep in a different context I could see that being flirtatious, but in this instance it just sounds slightly dickish, to me anyway!

He's lying. Of course he got your messages. He ignored you and then is trying to backtrack for whatever reason.

So he didn't get your snapchats, texts and Facebook messages? How convenient. He's lying to you already, run for the hills.

IMO definitely leave it for now and let him respond when he's ready....much more dignified approach for you and then you know he genuinely wants to be in touch.

If I were you I'd send a casual message asking him to drop your charger by to wherever (or a very brief meet up for it on your way elsewhere).
That way you show him you're not impressed or fooled by his bs but not pissed off, it's just matter of fact and you're (by implication) probably moving on to better pastures. You don't even need to address his childish behaviour, just let your extremely casual attitude speak volumes
I don't like the way he tried to turn it round on you, jokingly or otherwise it's just a bit crass really, he knows you know he got your messages (or he thinks you're very gullible).