I feel like a bunny boiler but...

[Rup3rt]

So I met a guy, we went on a date a couple of nights ago which went really really well (he said so as well so wasn't just me haha) ... Since said date we have been texting pretty much constantly (obvious gaps when we are busy/asleep etc but generally have always been messaging)

Yesterday, business as usual, I had work in the evening and as I was going into work his last text was us discussing our second date and him saying he wants to take me somewhere really nice and that he's gutted he won't be able to see me for over a week. I reply then go into work... Come out of work, and had a message from him in reply... And then another message just making general chit chat about 2 hours before. Replied when I got home... And he opened it and ignored it! But at the time, I didn't think much of it. He was moving house that day and was probably busy. I'm sure I'd hear from him later. But later, this morning, nothing. But he had been posting on Facebook last night, an emotional post about him moving house. So, I liked it then sent him a message saying aww did the move go well then? Are you feeling all emotional? ... And again! Open message, no reply!

So my question is, would it be weird to maybe give him until later this evening and if I don't hear ask him? I'm not normally like this after a first date and feel like a bit of a bunny boiler, but I just don't understand how you can go from planning a second date and all the like, to not even dignifying my messages with a response, all in the space of 2 hours?? I'm not thinking an angry rant or anything, perhaps just a little sort of 'jokey message' like 'was it something I said?' ... I guess it's more for my sanity than anything really as I know deep down its hardly going to change anything... I am just going out of my mind trying to work out why the hell he has just done such a u turn all of a sudden and whether it really is something I've done?? I don't think he's ever completely ignored my messages!

[ChitChatarunga]

SanityClause I love that. I will never contact him again, but I feel like sending that to the man who messed with my head by being my 'friend' for six months. The kind of friend who tells you he's your friend, and then ignores every boundary.

[ClaudiaApfelstrudel]

if it started like this I dread to think how it might have ended, he sounds incapable of managing his life tbh

[gamerchick]

To me it looks like he punished you somewhat for taking 2 hours to get back to him the first time he ignored you. Also tying himself up in knots backpeddling type of thing now.

Texting is wank, if you like him then give him a ring and sort out another date.. I personally would give one shot and dismissing the texting bollocks if I liked him. It doesn't need to be that much of a headfuck after one date.

[daisychain01]

Gaaad, he really has earned Knob of the Year award with that last message, hasn't he. Do yourself a favour and get rid, he's such a timewaster!

Maybe a brief, "no way back" message is in order -

I'll drawing this to a close thanks, it just doesn't work for me. Shame, never mind. Hope the house move went well, all the best for the future.

[blindsider]

I'd just text him, I'm sorry you're just too high maintenance for me

Definitely this, if you are having these stupid games one date in, run away....

[SanityClause]

Send him this.

[peppercold]

Fuck him off.

[eatsleephockeyrepeat]

Hmm, that last one's turned it around again hasn't it. He's stamping his feet because he wants your full on attention and adoration again now is convenient for him. I'm now pretty sure he was ignoring your snap chats while he was busy moving and had "better" things to do. Now he's pretending he thinks you were ignoring him to try and whip you back up into fawning over him and flattering his ego.

Bin him. I have never had a text argument with someone after one date and gone on to have anything worth having with them. In fact the thing you're most likely to have is a slanging match on your second date.

[CharlieSierra]

When I read these threads I always think there is too much contact now by text and social media in the early dating stages. Why after one date would you be in almost permanent contact with someone? You had one date, and suddenly that person is in your head all the time. It's really unhealthy to do this. Have a date, if you want to meet again get in touch and arrange. In the meantime live your life. All this texting and whatsapping plays into the hands of the player, you get totally over invested and they are likely talking to other people. As you should be at the one date stage, keeping your options open.

[Diamogs]

You are better than this OP - walk away.

[frieda909]

To add to my point you thought exactly the same as him (that he hadn't been in touch) but did you treat him badly or make him feel like shit. NO!

THIS.

I do think that technology can be unreliable and what he's said about your snapchat going unnoticed is definitely not impossible, but it's his reaction to it which is the problem here. When I got to the 'I quite like you' part, I thought aww that's sweet, these things happen and no harm done. But then I read your last update and he's being an arse.

You could have both just laughed at it all being a big misunderstanding and lived happily ever after, but instead he gets pissy and chooses to make his pissiness known to you, even after learning that you did nothing wrong. And after only one date! That would definitely have me on red alert.

[ChitChatarunga]

Blimey... I started out thinking just wait and see, don't write him off yet, he's moving.

But then I see your update! He actually used the word ''aggro'' with you, after he'd 1) opened your text and 2) not responded.

The only way to respond to that to preserve your dignity and stay sane is to dial back yourself. You did the right thing withdrawing, and tbh, I wouldn't have sent a subsequent text to the first one that he didn't respond to.

Mixed messages are a nightmare. I'm coming around to the way of thinking now, be clear, or you're not for me.

[hippiedays]

Now block and ignore because he WILL respond which I hope is not what you actually want to happen anymore.

There are lovely guys out there who will treat you nicely. Don't settle for the first man/jerk who shows you some attention. You deserve better than that. We all do.

[PreciousVagine]

You're wasting far too much energy and emotions on this one! You. Had. One. Date.

[UpsiLondoes]

I'd just text him, I'm sorry you're just too high maintenance for me.

[RedMapleLeaf]

Too. Much. Drama.

[missybct]

My red flag alert went off at him saying he was annoyed at you for "ignoring" him. Talk about overreaction, especially as it's probably bullshit as he read the messages anyway.

Agree with PP - way too much hard work, I wouldn't consider that kind of bullshit months into a relationship, much less after one date.

[FriendofBill]

This is after one date.
What's this going to look like in one year?

Make the right choice OP.

[DorindaJ]

What Cabrinha said.

[DaveCamoron]

He sounds like a twat, please tell him to get lost.

[bakeoffcake]

I hope you've deleted his number and snapchat etc after last night.

He's a nasty wanker!

[Cabrinha]

I'm despairing that your last sentence to us is not "so fuck him, I've deleted the number and won't be replying again".

Very very best case scenario that he really didn't see the message (and that's a steaming pile of horse shit - your texts too?) and he was annoyed at you not being crazy about him...? He's shown you that his reaction to that would be to get shitty with you. Nice. And not just shitty in the initial re-contact. Last night after you had already established this "error" (bullshit) he was was STILL sending you snappy messages.

You need to have a good look at yourself. A boyfriend should treat you better than any other person in your life. And yet you're prepared to let him treat you like shit.

First time is his fault. Staying in touch and letting him carry on - well, you have to take responsibility for that. Are you choosing to let him treat you like this? Why?

And FFS, just but a new phone charger. What price dignity?

[hippiedays]

I read as far as page four...... this guy is immature and doesn't want or is incapable of an adult relationship.

I spent over ten years with this sort of fuckwittery believing I loved someone who blew hot and cold before I finally moved on. BWhen the same guy got someone pregnant, he still sent texts, his child is now five and he still texts even though he is living with the mother of his child.'I regret ever having met him, such an absolute waste of my years and worst of all the signs were there from the very start.

Move on, meet a nice decent straightforward guy and forget texting/snapchat/Facebook. If you want to contact him, pick up the phone and talk. It really cuts out all the misinterpretation and misunderstandings.

[Ginkypig]

Iv just read the thread and your last post makes me want to scream so loud that I shatter glass fucking run as fast as you can and don't ever look back

His back is up by your perceived behaviour so he treats you like shit. You have to send him proof he's in the wrong before his attitude towards you changes.

To add to my point you thought exactly the same as him (that he hadn't been in touch) but did you treat him badly or make him feel like shit. NO!

[icedcherrytea]

He sounds like hard work already. Jeez.

Sorry OP. Please don't waste anymore time on this prat. Fizzle him out.

Be happy. X