That Sunday Feeling!

[Hushabyemountain98]

Welcome to to my new thread. I hope that all my MN friends from Onwards and Upwards will join me and maybe a few new ones!xx

Hush I'm sorry to hear that your dog isn't getting any better. Both me and my daughter said the other day that in most cases we prefer dogs to humans! Much more loyal. I hope things improve.
Glad your happy with your hair - if you're anything like me you tend to come away either loving or hating your hair after each visit.
I've not really watched any of the football but the match was on in the background tonight. It's a shame that Wales didn't win. Still they've done better than England!

Good evening ThankGod.

Thank you. I like dogs better than some human too!
I am trying not to think about what is probably inevitable!
All I can think is that I have loved him and cared for him all his life.

My hairdresser has been doing my hair for 26 years. She normally gets it right. I know what you mean though!

Wales did really well. Unfortunately they were short of a couple of their good players tonight. Still someone has to win and at least they didn't have a penalty shootout!

I hope you are okay?

Good night xxx

Hello Hush (and everyone!) how are you today?

Hi WTAFF.
About the same I suppose!
How are you, did you have a better day today?
I hope you did.
My dog is about the same. No results from the vet yet.
I took my son for an interview and did the food shopping.
He has just had his hair cut and I went to pick him up.
My mind is all over the place.
I am spending a lot of time thinking of my dh being with the OW and doing the things we should be doing. I think I am going backwards.
I hope you have a nice evening xxx

Good morning all.
I hope you will all have a good day.
The weather is not much here yet! Maybe it will brighten up later?
I had a mixed day yesterday. My neighbour was very kind and invited me to her little girls sports day. It is a really nice school and we had a picnic lunch, which was lovely. It kept my mind off other things.
Once I got home my mind started to wander again. Then I had a meltdown!
My neighbour was really good to me again!
I watched a movie with my son from his collection. It was The Martian with Matt Damon and it was really good.
Hoping for a better day emotionally.
Have a good day xx

Good morning Hush.

How long is it for you now since this whole situation started? It's still quite early isn't it? Is your counsellor helping you do you think?

I'm glad you've got supportive people around you.

How is the dog doing?

Have a good day. Xx

Morning.
Weather here is awful at the moment although it is meant to stop raining in a bit.
I've had a busy couple of weeks which has been really good for me - stops me thinking too much.
Unfortunately now the weekend looms ahead and I'm on my own. My daughter is on her first girls holiday which is great but means I'm a bit lonely. I've got to get used to it though.
My friend who came round the other week (the one I hadn't spoken to in over a year) is coming round on Monday again which will be nice.
Weekdays are fine. I'm back at work full-time now so have people to talk to and then by the time I get home, walk the dog (if my daughter hasn't done it), cook, it's 6.30/7.00 by the time I sit down. Watch a bit of TV then bed. Pilates on Tuesday and my sewing class on Thursday fills out my time. Even weekend nights aren't too bad. Glass of wine and a film or a good book. But the days are hard to fill.
I've had no viewings on the house now for two weeks - which isn't good but I've decided not to stress out about it. It will sell or it won't. Meanwhile I'm living here, he's paying half the mortgage and having to live back at home with his mom and dad!
He WhatsApp my daughter on Thursday saying he hoped she has a good holiday. So she read it so he knows that she's seen it and then blocked him on that too!
Any improvement on your dog Hush? I've not seen the Martian so maybe that's one for me to watch tonight. I'm glad that your neighbours are so kind - one good thing that has come out of all of this is that I've realised just how nice some people are and how much they care. I have made a promise to myself not to take the people in my life for granted again. I was so wrapped up in him that I neglected everyone else. Never again.
Have a good day

Good afternoon WTAFF.

My DH left early in January. Although he went to be with her for the whole of the Christmas and New Year.
My counsellor is helping and she thinks I am much stronger!
My dog is about the same. I think a very hard decision will be facing me soon.

How are you doing? Do you feel any brighter?
Are you doing anything nice this weekend.
I am popping to a friends house later for her sons Birthday BBQ. I am hoping my son will come too as it is his childhood friend.

I better finish tidying up before I go.

Have a good day xx

Hi Thank God,

I hope your weather has improved. It is quite warm here and very windy but hardly any sun!
I am sorry that you are on your own as your daughter is on holiday.
I am glad that your friend is coming again, as you wondered whether she would. That is great!
I hope you find something to do during the day this weekend to occupy your mind.
I am going to a friends house for her sons Birthday BBQ. I am hoping my son will come too as it is his friend.
Try not to stress out about not selling the house. Stressing about it won't make it happen any quicker. I am a fine one to talk as I will be exactly the same.
My dog has not improved. Dreading getting the results from the vet!
When my son said about watching The Martian I didn't fancy it as it is not my type of film. He told me I would enjoy it and I did.
There are some very kind people about and as we know some horrid ones.
I felt yesterday that I was going under again. The trouble is I continue to do things that are only destructive to me. But I cannot seem to stop.
Well I better close as I need to go out.
I hope you have a good day xxx

Hi hush my lovely, the only way to stop these destructive urges to check social media is to block them. Block him and her and everyone associated with them. The only person it is hurting is you.

Contact is only through email, not text, that way you can choose when to look at them, file them away under an insulting name of your choice, I can give you some help with that if you like..... :)

Knowing where they are and what they're doing is a form of torture for you, so why do it? The man you spent those long years with is gone, it's not helping your recovery wondering how he could do this.

Hush, you know you should listen to Hobbit

I'm fine Hush. Just having a quiet weekend.

I definitely think it's a good idea to block the ex and OW on social media. I found it reduced the temptation to have a look which only ended up upsetting me!

Have a good day. Xx

Thank you Hobbit. My dh doesn't do social media. I have blocked all the others.
I feel that people think I am crazy but I am not. I am just totally traumatised
by what he has done.
This afternoon was really nice with my friend and her family.
I hope you are okay?xxx

Hi Pisco,

I do listen to Hobbit xx

Hi WTAFF,

Thank you for your message.
I am glad you are fine.
I hope you are enjoying your quiet weekend.

I am taking the advice about social media.

Have a nice evening xx

You too Hush.

You're stronger than you know. You seem kind too. You will get the peace you crave soon I'm sure. Then you will look back on this time and know how far you've come.

Take care. xx

Thank you again WTAFF.
I hope you are right!

Take care xxx

Evening Hush and all.
Sorry to hear that you've had a wobble Hush. It's a roller coaster you're on so you will go up and down. Can you see there being slightly more ups than downs at times? I can see that on your threads I think.
I think we all at times press the 'self destruct' button - and then afterwards think... why did I do that? There will be times when you manage not to - can you work out what it is you do helps you do the positive for yourself? Maybe your counsellor can help you work it out?

I'm having a quiet weekend as well - met a friend for coffee this morning and then have just been pottering about here. Hope that tomorrow is positive for everyone. xx

Hi louisa,

Thank you for your message.
I suppose I can see slightly more ups than downs.
I think I do things that I shouldn't when I am thinking too much about things and when I know they are together especially when life is tougher than usual for me, like worrying about the dog and finding out that someone that I love is really sick. It just seems that my life is full of losses and not many gains!
I am more positive when I feel okay and when I have something or someone to focus on.
I hope you enjoyed coffee with your friend this morning.
I hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend.
Take care xx

Morning Hush.
You're right - it's the damn thinking that does it! Initially I made myself keep busy - I painted, I gardened, I ran my business, I changed the house around etc. Anything to keep me distracted. I think as long as I felt I could see progress - even if it was just a painted wall or a space after a trip to the tip, I gave myself the illusion of moving on.
It's only now that I can settle and be still and not plunge back into a mess of pity and sadness. But for me that's 3 years on.
Right - I am off to shower, watch the Andrew Marr show and wonder at what a mad and sad country we have become in the last weeks.

Good morning louisa,

I must try to stay busy and not spend too much time on the laptop or iPad wandering around.
I have my counsellor tomorrow. I did not see her thus week and I will be glad to go to her tomorrow.
I really have to watch it as I do not want my family and friends getting fed up with me.
I am glad that you do not plunge back into a mess of pity and sadness now. I think time can be a great healer.
I am watching Andrew Marr. I think you are right about us becoming a mad and sad country in the last few weeks.
The weather here is quite dismal and wet. Not good for dog walking!
Hope it is better where you are?
Have a good day.

Good morning louisa,

I must try to stay busy and not spend too much time on the laptop or iPad wandering around.
I have my counsellor tomorrow. I did not see her thus week and I will be glad to go to her tomorrow.
I really have to watch it as I do not want my family and friends getting fed up with me.
I am glad that you do not plunge back into a mess of pity and sadness now. I think time can be a great healer.
I am watching Andrew Marr. I think you are right about us becoming a mad and sad country in the last few weeks.
The weather here is quite dismal and wet. Not good for dog walking!
Hope it is better where you are?
Have a good day.

xx

hush sweetheart, I'm sure it's not the case that your family and friends will get fed up with you. You are indeed traumatised by what has happened, and that takes some time to get over. No one understands how hard this is until they have been through it, I know I didn't...
I know I will never "get over" what has happened, it will always be there in the background, but I have learnt to live with it, and through it have found who my true friends are, and who I can count on for support in my family.

Morning.
Weather here is very changeable. I hoping to get some gardening done but not sure whether to risk it.
Like Louisa said I try to keep as busy as possible. So far I've made a cheesecake, scrubbed the kitchen floor on my hands and knees and tidied round. I am sleeping a bit better which is a relief. Maybe the two glasses of wine I had last night watching a film helped with that!
It's ten weeks today since it all happened and the first weekend I've had to spend completely alone. It's been hard - really hard. I've not spoken to anyone since Friday and this is what I feared the most. I've text my brother and my daughter WhatsApped me from on holiday but I've not spoken to anyone other than the dog. Even the library is self serve. I'm feeling really sad and tearful. After doing so well for the last few weeks I'm struggling.
I suppose it will get easier and you all know how hard it can be - that's why Hush titled this thread as she did.

Thank you Hobbit.
You are right no one understands how hard this is until they have been through it. This is the third time I have been through this with him. But this time is so much worse as it seems so final!
I hope eventually I will be able to live with it.
I am amazed by the indifference of a few and the kindness of many. Including your kindness and my other MN friends.
Here come the tears again!
I hope you have a good Sunday xx