On the face of it, my H is a good man.
Good job, works hard for us, does housework...etc. On paper he's probably the 'ideal' kind of guy.
But he's an asshole.
He does housework and then complains about having done it, like i'm lazy/not good enough... or to make a martyr of himself.
He's very much a 'children should be seen and not heard' kind of guy, so i spend most of my time trying to keep the kids in line so we don't get shouted at for being noisy.
He says he doesn't care what i do with my day, but then bitches and moans that i'm not pulling my weight because i haven't done the laundry as i spent the day with my mom.
He's sexually pushy and gets shitty if i say no 'well fuck you then' or gropes me constantly and says shit like 'i'm probably annoying you, but i don't care'
He dictates what and when everything happens in this house. Yesterday i said i didn't feel up to showering both kids (i have a bad back/hip) but he decided i would be doing both of them and made them both get in the shower. He decides when the kids go to bed, even though its me who gets them ready. He also dictates when they can get up, and kicks off if they're up earlier.
He can't cope with our Autistic DS.
He lets me have a lie in occasionally, but then is such a grumpy twat i spend the rest of the day walking on eggshells.
He bitches about my family constantly, to the point i avoid seeing them or don't tell him i have because i'm sick of the lecture.
He sticks up for me, but then in the next breath makes it clear he's only doing it because he can't be expected to 'pick up the slack' if i'm ill.
I was admitted to hospital a couple of years ago and because i didn't get let home quick enough he yelled at me down the phone because he was exhausted from looking after the kid on his own for 3 days.
He was vile to me when my dad died, i phoned from the hospital to tell him my dad had just died, and he was rude and then ranted about the kids behaviour, and was shitty when i got home. Then he complained he felt left out when me, mom and my brother arranged the funeral, because we didn't ask for his input.
He never asks me about my day, just comes in from work and spends hours talking about his day, and i HAVE to listen, or i get shouted at, if i so much as say anything i get told to shut up and stop interrupting... yet when i'm talking he thinks nothing of cutting me off mid sentence and ignoring me, making it clear he's not interested.
I hate him. I'm not financially dependant on him, i have my own money, i have no idea why i'm still here, but its so hard to make that step and have to deal with the fall out from breaking up a 15yr long relationship.
I want out.