My 51 year old husband had a Facebook friendship with a very attractive 37 year old - someone who had worked at his office some time ago. There were lots of likes between them, plenty of innuendo and lots of private messages. She has very sexy minx profile pictures and has public settings so I think she enjoys getting attention. She originally asked him to be a Facebook friend (and nobody else from their old office life). He decided he wanted to "get to know her better" as they got on so well - there appears to have been a real spark between them. He questioned himself whether this was the right thing to do but decided to do it anyway as life is too short. So he asked her if she would like to be meet up as he wanted to be "more than Facebook friends". He invited her out to an evening rendezvous in our local city centre on a night when I would be out. He even cleaned the car inside and out beforehand (something he never normally does) and gave her a lift home to her parents house - where she was staying as she no longer lives in this country but reguarly comes back to our city to visit said parents. He wanted to see her before she left the country again. He says he tried to tell me he was going to be meeting her but said I didn't appear to be listening so he assumed it would be ok. He said nothing about his evening out when I returned that night - the night of his rendezvous - but he seemed in a very good mood. The next morning he told me nothing. However I found a receipt in the bin the next day and didn't think much to it but casually asked him about it. He very sheepishly and quite dreamily said it was to do with "seeing his friend before she went back to . There was something about his response that set my alarm bells ringing, and I had to tease the information out of him to find out about his evening out. I think he would have been happy to not say anything. Does anybody else out there think he crossed a line and think he was entering dangerous territory? I think if he had doubts he should have made sure he sat me down and told me about his plans properly. I think she was possibly starting to "reel him in". He said it was platonic, but I feel very uncomfortable about it. What do others think?
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Did my husband cross the line with Platonic Facebook friend.
stridz · 21/05/2016 19:49
OP I am so sorry you are going through this 
Your H's behaviour is not conducive of someone who loves and respects you. He's putting a time limit on how you are able to deal with things because, quite frankly, your hurt and upset is an inconvenience to him.
The 'I tried to tell you but you weren't listening' wouldn't wash with me. I am pretty sure, no matter him much you were preoccupied, your ears would have pricked up at the mere mention of meeting another woman (more matter who they are). If his intentions were good he would have made sure you heard and understood what was going to happen. I also find it very underhand that he arranged the meeting when he knew you were away, that smacks of someone who absolutely knew the meeting was in some way inappropriate.....if there was nothing in it why not arrange for a night where you were at home, like he would if meeting a male friend?
My DP and I have been guilty of taking each other for granted, neglecting each others needs (life, work and kids get in the way) but neither of us have ever felt the need to secretly message people of the opposite sex and arrange a secret meet up.
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