DRY 13

[lilybetsy]

This is the thread for all those who are living, or committed to living, life free from alcohol.

I will quote a sober poster "I'm fitter, slimmer, richer, happier & healthier"

Go sober warriors !

Hi all,

Thanks for the reassurance about the tiredness. Completely knackered again today - drove home from work with my head feeling full of fluff! Off to bed soon...

I've had a couple of whispers from the wine witch over the last 2 days, but am ignoring her - mostly about the long term, holidays etc. Poured myself a raspberry lemonade with lots of ice into a wine glass this evening and it did the trick nicely without any of the guilt or drama.

Sorry Pillow, missed your post there. I'm obviously not really in a position to offer much advice, but from everything that I'm reading, all these anxieties etc get better over time, and all we can do is stick with it and wait it out.

There are other kinder ways to genuinely reward yourself, which don't make you feel like crap the next morning - it's just a case of finding which ones work for you I guess. x

Thanks jelly. Hope you get a good night's sleep tonight. Raspberry lemonade sounds lovely. I"m drinking a bitter lemon diluted with a bit of tonic water.

I know what you mean about kinder rewards. You're right. I'm just feeling like a big tantrumming thirteen year old tonight.

I don't want to get drunk any more but it doesn't mean I like being sober. It's not really a nice place to be right now.

Must be something in the air. Also feeling low and depressed here. I find that getting through each day is a bit of an endurance feat right now. Walking through sludge.

Raspberry lemonade sounds very good. I have not been having my special AF drinks lately, and am missing them.

On the plus side, I have managed to put another £300 of not-drinking-wine money into my holiday/emergency fund. It was originally set up for a Xmas trip to Lapland, but then DH lost his job. I am still squirreling away my AF money and it is adding up nicely. DH knows about the account but does not know how much is in it. I am feeling more reassured to have a little nest egg building up. And this is literally my not-drinking money. I would have judt drunk this money away. That makes me happy. :)

oooh.... x-posts. :)

I also feel a bit tantrummy today pillow.

At least it isn't just me. I am going for a bath. I think I'm allowed to sulk on my own in the bath where nobody can see me :)

Recommend some while you wallow in the bath.

I think the mood swings and self awareness are part of the process - another reason why it's good to read around and understand what's happening - but it doesn't make it fun. I find the info about changes in brain chemistry really interesting - that the reward receptors get messed up by booze and need time to reset. And It definitely gets easier as time passes. Koko 😬

Please don't throw things at me but sometimes turning it round and thinking of a positive choice to be sober helps - not giving up but gaining a new start.

Currently very tired, news isn't cheering me up and am avoiding the footie though there is wailing off stage so I guess we're loosing. Actually, the bath sounds a good option. Am off to raid the chocolate stash.

Very wise words sybil. I would echo everything you say. This sobriety business is a hard slog but so worth it. It does get easier and I am finding my moods are settling but it's still a rollercoaster.

I read around a lot and I find it really helps. Lucy and Lily both have excellent blogs which I find really helpful: www.ahangoverfreelife.com and www.alcoholfree2016.com or if you are really bored mine is www.sothisissober.com

I also love the Bubble Hour podcasts.

KOKO ladies and as Lily said keep posting here - that's what it's for. I used to get worried I was hogging the board with my struggles especially in the early days and weeks but I was firmly told to stop worrying and post away. The support here is wonderful.
X

Morning all. Wise words above.

Morning everyone, haven't posted in a while but have been following the thread. Welcome to Lizzy and Jelly. Hope you are feeling better today. The tiredness does pass so stick with it, take things easy as it takes a few weeks for your sleep patterns to adjust to sober night times!

Pillow you sound like me not so long ago! It's weird not having that quick glass of something to numb all your emotions isn't it? I felt very naked and raw without it, having to face everything in the clear light of sobriety. But it's like anything, the more you do it the easier it gets. And once the sleepiness and tiredness goes it's much easier to deal with as well.

I'll be at 6 months sober on Friday, which is absolutely unbelievable! I would never have imagined myself here when I started Dry Jan. I feel so much better (although not slimmer though! My digestive biscuit cravings made sure of that!) and calmer and more productive and happier generally.

Interestingly last week a friend asked me how my non-drinking was going, and was there a trigger for me to stop? I've never been asked that specific question before and it threw me a bit. I said something like yes but I didn't want to get into it just then (we were waiting for a concert to start). I particularly didn't want to say, yes mate, your Christmas party where I got so drunk I was utterly incapable of looking after my kids and, although I got them home okay I had gone into autopilot and took myself off to bed leaving them to fend for themselves. They were fine, they just thought they were getting a treat and staying up late. DH came home about an hour later and sent them to bed. But I was appalled the next day at the example I had set them and that was the beginning of then end.I don't know if I will ever tell him that; I suspect he will feel in some way responsible although of course that's nonsense.

Anyway he carried on talking and it turns out that, far from being the 'not-bothered by booze' type I thought he was, he actually has lots and lots of rules around drinking because, if he doesn't, he finds himself out of control. It made me wonder how many people are barely hanging on, determinedly gritting their teeth and controlling their drinking rather than being the take-it-or-leave-it people we here tend to think of as 'normal' drinkers?I suspect many more than we think!

Anyway I'm waffling; hope everyone's doing okay today, it's very grey and miserable weather here so I'm making a big curry for dinner, yum yum!

KOKO

Hello all - too many to name check!
God I am so tired today :( Had 10 hours sleep last night (bed at 10 pm! Unheard of for me!) and still feel tired and muzzy headed. Wonder if this is PAWS, or just the very heavy weather?
If I discount the lapse of one evening a couple of weeks ago, now on Day 190. I don't know if I should reset the count or just ignore the lapse :) But I think, on balance I will just ignore the lapse :)
Life is good here, very busy, but good (apart from the problem family member, who I can do nothing about so am putting worries to one side)

Popping my head in for a TSP post................

6 months AF today!!!!!!!!!
To say I'm proud of myself is an understatement.
I woke up this morning at 4.30am for some strange reason and couldn't get back to sleep. It's ironic really, as that was about the time I got into bed on the morning of 28th December, having got absolutely shit faced once again. DH and I had done 5 bottles of red between us (I'm fairly certain that I drank 3 of them) It was later that day I made one of the best decisions I have ever made and went AF. I haven't lost an ounce in weight, in fact I've put some on but I don't care. People have asked me if I've lost weight and I think it's because I just look less bloated. My clothes still fit me, so it's fine.
I've managed quite a few social occasions, a wedding, a hen do and a holiday in Spain.......and I'm off again this Saturday for 11 nights. I've enjoyed them all far more sober than I ever have when I was drinking.
The anxiety I suffered with has all but gone, thank god....and I'm much better at dealing with "stuff"
No more blackouts and who knew? There's a day in the week called Sunday!!

I think (hope)this is it for me but I'm not daft enough to ever take it for granted, it's far too important.

Thankyou to each and every one of you, this thread has been an invaluable support.

Can't go without saying a massive well done to my sober twin and fellow Neil Young fan, Absolutebeginner We made 6 months!!!!

hurricane and absolute

Six months!! Well done😄

Well done Hurricane that's amazing - and very inspiring.

Good to hear that social events and even holidays are enjoyable sober. Logically I know this to be true, and I've experienced them all drunk so should realise how alcohol ruins them, but today have been struggling with the thought of a sober holiday. It's quite a few weeks off yet, so I'm perhaps using it as an excuse to give up, but today I was telling myself that of course I should drink on my holiday and it was ridiculous to imagine otherwise. I desperately want to experience and enjoy a sober holiday, just to prove to myself that it can be done. Anyway, I'll put that to the back of my mind for now, as it very nearly caused me to fall off the wagon today. I've restocked my fruity AF drink stores today so will enjoy something fizzy over ice later this evening. I really don't want to fail this time!!

Congrats cooee hurricane and absolute!

Hi lily slim fuzzy glad vxa and any regulars I've missed.

Am also feeling rather tsp today despite the weather gloom and the brexit gloom. Have been organising my house and finally getting round to doing stuff. I feel in control and I like it!!

Was thinking today about how I made the commitment to living alcohol free on New Years Eve after a horrendous hangover from the night before - I had never, ever felt so ill. I started with Dry Jan and although I've had slips since then, my commitment hasn't wavered. I feel so much better on every count - sleep, mood, weight, skin, hair, life and I wouldn't go back. This thread and the Dry Jan one before it have been instrumental in helping me do this, you're all amazing!!

If anyone is trying and slipping then I'm here to say keep on keeping on, it's worth it!

Hi all

Pillow what you say about feeling all over the shop really rings bells with me, I too have struggled to 'calm myself' without alcohol, and am smoking again ... Only 1 or 2, and some days none, but I'm using that, and Kalms tablets while I learn better responses. One thing that does work for me, is going to bed - listening to the radio, or watching something mindless. My kids are older and don't need me to put them to bed, so sometimes I just check out !

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉hurricane and absolute 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

Bloody fantastic !!! Well done and such awesome positive posts xxx

Whoops pressed post too soon

glad I would call it 190 days minus one for the slip - I don't think 190 days is undone by one evening xx

vxa you might not always feel it - living in your own skin every day, but you are much calmer and better than you were in the early days - it was so hard for you at the beginning and you were so brave and strong reaching out for help. You so deserve to be feeling a little better - day 90 today ?

jelly and lizzie keep going, don't look beyond today - you can manage each thing as it comes by planning and reminding yourself why you have made this decision. If you look too far ahead, it all becomes overwhelming ... I promise NOTHING is as hard sobers s you think it will be

cooee I've done that too. I'm very ashamed , and it's a major reason for needing to be sober now

Hugs to everyone - and really really well done xxx

Lily 🌷X

Hello all, had such a busy day at work had forgotten my six month anniversary. Go me! Thanks Hurricane and everyone for the good wishes. Just to add to the general positivity I have lost ten pounds in weight since Christmas and my mental health has never been better. I am still a worrier but I don't feel I need any professional help any more in that department. Thank you so much dear sober warriors xx

Thanks all for the welcome. Second day off work with bronchitis, been watching rolling news channels for part of the day and doing some work.

I thought I would find this week really tough - DH has been away since Sat and I really thought I'd cave to the wine witch whispering 'who'll know?' Actually it's been ok, I think the worst trigger time is 6-8.30pm. Originally when the DCs were younger (6 years ago) I would get in from work around 6.30/7 and for 2-3 years they would just yell at me for an hour solid. I had always drunk wine regularly but this was when it started being an everyday thing. Never blasted in the evening but rarely sober either. Often on my own - DH frequently away or working late. Always tired (DD2 didn't reliably sleep on her own until age 4 plus the booze didn't help) Making something to eat when I came usually involved a running battle with the kids and it would be 8.30 before they were both down. So H, L and T often present.

Sorry about the ramblings, it's helping me work out where I am at the end of day 11.

CooeeOnlyMe - we share a dry birthday - I gave up on NYD too,

Well done LikeaHurricane, congrats Absolute

Hi everyone, well done on all these milestones!

lizzy my dh worked abroad for 3 years, that's when my drinking really hit a peak, it was my way of trying to cope. So pleased I'm starting to learn new ways.

I have a 2 year old to look after tomorrow so early sober night for me!

Hi everyone!!

Not much posting from me at the moment as I am half way around the world right now, for a few weeks working in New Zealand!!

But just spotted the great news that Absolute and Hurricane have made 6 months... FABULOUS!! Well done both of you 👍🏻😀

And well done everyone else, from day 1-1000+. KOKO

Day 25 for me, feeling OK but also a bit sad that I can't enjoy just one drink in the future, especially at home as once that bottle's open there's no turning back. BUT I'm not feeling wretched on a morning with a hangover which means I'm more productive at home and at work and I'm getting up half an hour earlier which has reduced the stress levels pre school/work by a huge amount.

I have read the blogs by Lily & Lucy which really helped me - like Lily I get to see the devastation that alcohol can wreak on families at work, and it does feel a bit like I have avoiding such a horrendous situation by luck not judgement. I used to use these sad situations to justify my drinking with a "Well at least I'm not that bad" until a couple of year ago, this has been slowly changing to realise that actually I was not that much different and it is purely luck that I have maintained a job, home and family.

Busy day at work and then off to get my teeth whitened this evening - as I'm not on the red wine anymore I feel that I can justify getting them done (feel quite excited but also a little apprehensive as I don't want to end up looking like John Bishop!)

Congratulations to those hitting milestones and also those who didn't drink yesterday - it's another step in the right direction. Hope we're all feeling "fitter, slimmer, richer, happier & healthier".

Thanks all for your good wishes, they really mean a lot. I am very proud of myself.
Lucy, vxa and Lily......I read your blogs. Thank you for them, they are all beautifully written and all very different. Well of course, they would be wouldn't they? You are all individuals going through this from your own personal experiences and perspective.

Lily it sounds to me like you need some space or stillness to be able to think and feel clearly. The really good and positive thing is that like all of us, you are no longer numbing your feelings with alcohol, so you are able to feel. Sometimes though, it is really hard to feel your feelings isn't it? But as the likes of Brene Brown and Eckhart Tolle tell us, if you numb your painful, upsetting feelings with alcohol, food, whatever....then it stands to reason that you also numb any feelings of joy, happiness etc.
I can recommend reading A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. I think that might help you understand what's going on with you and DP. Some of his You tube videos are worth watching too, particularly the ones where he explains what he calls the "painbody" ........... I hope that helps They have been a tremendous help to me.

Fuzzy I'm fifty in February next year so I'm about to plan a month long trip to NZ......keep posting and tell us all about it!!!

Just going back to weight loss....please don't let my lack of it put anyone off..........whilst I have put about 4 or 5 pounds on, my body is definitely starting to change shape for the better.... and to be fair I do a lot of exercise and I run quite a lot. I always have done, so I didn't really need to lose any. And my clothes fit better which for me is the best and only guide, not the sad step (scales)
My problem area which is my stomach is definitely getting trimmer and flatter and it never has done previously. I have also "deflated" a little all over and it is all down to being AF.

Lizzy I hope you are feeling better today
Cooee and Miss - your 6 month milestone next!!
Girls the really good thing is that you are aware that you can't moderate. Neither can I. Not ever.... and it's fine. I promise you I enjoy my whole life so much more. So will you. You will be fine.
KOKO sober warriors

Morning ladies. Such awesome sober success on this board. Well done everyone celebrating sober milestones and also to those earlier on in the journey

13 weeks for me today. I never imagined I would make it this far.

I have a couple of days off as it is DD2s birthday tomorrow and I am making a cake. It probably won't look fantastic but it has a lot of love in it.

I got really upset with the builder doing some work next door. I ended up literally sobbing in my car. I am very frustrated at myself for losing it. I have felt much more together recently. I really need some time out. Usually on a day off I would have had a couple of glasses by now but I am sticking to tea today !

Keep on posting ladies. Xxx