DRY 13

[lilybetsy]

This is the thread for all those who are living, or committed to living, life free from alcohol.

I will quote a sober poster "I'm fitter, slimmer, richer, happier & healthier"

Go sober warriors !

Ok posting a lot this w/e as things are all so grim. Have switched the news off - aargh.

Had a good run, lovely chat with friend over coffee but then struggled in the wine aisle in the supermarket. For the first time in ages. Resisted and bought some treats from the deli instead.

But have found some motivation. This is horribly shallow so if you are a high minded person you might want to move swiftly on but

..........

I weighed myself this morning and it's the lightest I've been for four years. So yes, am shallow enough to find this motivating because it's down to ditching the booze.

Brilliant Sybil - it's great news, and many of us have that as a side benefit of sobriety (I'm hoping that my cheeks will be less red too at some point!)

It's funny - the last 3 days have been sooo awful (the fabulous trinity of Work, Kids and Brexit!) and the last 2 days I've really really struggled with not drinking - but I suddenly feel great that although things got tough and there was a whole phalanx of devils on my shoulder saying 'surely after that kind of day you deserve some wine' I didn't cave into the cava

So, today is a whole new day, and I'm not drinking. I'm remembering that it's one day at a time, and right now I'm sober, and I have been for 41 days...

hugs to all that need them - sounds like this has been a really tough time for many of us -

one - sorry to hear that you have bad news - thinking of you

& to everyone made sad/scared/angry by referendum results...

Not shallow at all Sybil. I've got clearer skin and dropped a few pound too and as a result I'm wearing my nice clothes and taking care of myself more. Seeing positive results makes me less likely to drink. I work with older people and can tell at a glance whose been heavy drinkers.
I had a fleeting thought this morning of 'oh it's been two weeks maybe I could have a glass of wine tonight like a normal person'. BUT there's NO reason to drink. I'm staying DRY. Oh and I can't drink like a normal person.
I'm going to have a nice deli tea and sort out my work clothes tonight.

The referendum result has left me shaky too. It's also made the future come into sharp focus and I know I don't want to see myself as a mum drinking a bottle of wine a night in ten years time.

Lizzy welcome. You're in the right place.
Just dropping in to say hi to everyone.
Anyone struggling with being strong, just remember the incredible strength both physically and mentally that we all definitely have here. We had to be strong to be able to drink the way we did and still appear to function normally.......no doubt about it. So summon all that strength and use it like a super power to stay AF. KOKO sober warriors
I'm off to my friends wedding tonight and I can't wait. It was her hen do a few weeks ago and I stayed AF and I remember every single thing and it was a great day/evening. I had a really good laugh/time
All my friends there know I'm AF and they know why.......they've all seen me areseholed and out of it. Now that I've quit it appears that I'm a bit like a curiosity show initially and then they just get on with enjoying themselves. If any of them think anything bad about me for quitting, they haven't said anything to my face, in fact they've all been very kind and supportive,
And if any of them have had a secret snigger at my expense behind my back, I honestly believe that's their problem, not mine.
The reason I decided to tell them is that they are lovely and supportive, but to be really honest I'm very proud of myself for doing it. I honestly believe that we have got real strength of character to quit or keep trying to quit and that we really value ourselves and our lives in doing it.
It might also have been a useful factor in my not starting to drink again, not having to admit I've failed. Interesting.........I'll have to give that some thought

Anyhow, I know I sound a right TSP and I'm sorry.........
Absolute my sober twin, 6 months AF on Tuesday 28th!!! Now that needs celebrating......

Sorry Sybil should have also said, that's not shallow at all. You've worked hard and you've been running too, so you deserve to see a positive result

Sybil not shallow at all... Brilliant ! I'm waiting for this to happen for me ! My Botox and fillers are shallow , but I don't care !! Face is fine now thanks to whoever asked up thread. I'm really please with the results.

Welcome lizzy I agree with the others re planning ... I too was drinking about a bottle if white every evening (more at weekends) I feel a LOT better now ! And notwithstanding a big slug of the cravings today, In general I think about drinking much much less than I did.

I'm with you all re Brexit - shocked and very disappointed. My area voted remain - but sadly not enough of us did :-(

hadron I can tell the heavy drinkers too - it scares me when I see 80 year old ladies still putting it away, and the are so unsteady and frail ...

Hi to finnish jojo and glad.

slim thank you for your thoughts on AA - that's really helpful to he. I'm thinking about it ....

Hi vxa , edging towards 100'days !!! Xx

Today has been a very productive day. I like days like this, when I’m motivated, have clear things I want / need to achieve, and do them without procrastination. It feels good. So today I was up quite early, went to Pilates, packed the kids off to their dads and CLEANED the bedroom. I don’t do this as often as I should, so today was a very thorough, washing the paintwork, polishing the wooden floor type, clean. I washed everything, hoovered, dusted and threw away loads of rubbish. Very satisfying.

Then the trouble started. Early evening I decided to take the dog for a walk. The kids are all out, things are strained between DP and I, so I head for the park with the dog. It’s a beautiful evening and as I’m walking I start musing about drinking. Generally I allow myself space to do this as its too tiring pushing all the alcohol thoughts away. Generally my thoughts are about how pleased I am that I’m sober, and generally my thoughts are supportive of my decision not to drink. But not today , no, today I find myself missing drinking

I’m thinking that it would be easier to talk to my partner after a few drinks, that we might manage to communicate better after a bottle glass of wine … Really ?.. And then, almost before I know where my brain is leading I’m thinking that “I’ve done 106 days, I could maybe drink for a week and then give up again ” and I’m SERIOUSLY thinking that this is a good idea. I’m planning to go home via the supermarket …..

Don’t worry. I didn’t.

But it was quite an effort. Possibly the biggest effort I have had to make since the first couple if weeks. And it came from nowhere. What saved me was the memory that this is exactly what happened last time I was sober – just one day having a drink, and it took me 21 months to get sober again…

I was walking the dog FFS. Not at a party, at dinner, not with others who were drinking . Just walking in the park.

So I’m working through the checklist …. Initially I though none of the HALT emotions could be the cause of this Left field craving for alcohol …

BUT…

I guess I am tired after cleaning – but a ‘good’ tired (physically tired, not emotionally exhausted ) ; although come to think of it ….. It hasn’t been the easiest week…. : not hungry; Angry … Hmmmm well yes, still pretty angry with my partner , and no way to let that out right now. Lonely : well, yes I guess I do feel quite lonely .

OK, OK ,ok it’s perhaps not so unexpected … I probably need to be a bit more self aware

So… Early night, Becks blue, nice shower, movie in bed … Night all

Lily 🌷

Wow Hurricane 6 months is amazing, well done you.

Just checking in very quickly, quick hello to Lizzy, I'm on day 7 so similar to yourself. Just thinking back to my cringe-fest party last Saturday where I got totally wasted and am so glad that's behind me and I've got a week of soberness under my belt!

Great recovery Lilybetsy - scary how it creeps up and takes you by surprise.

Thanks all for your welcome. It's really appreciated. Thanks also for not minimising....IRL I guess I am ashamed and also know quite a lot of people who have similar drinking patterns. There are times when I have broached it with a friend and I think because I'm never out of control - I've never blacked out and haven't thrown up in many years, I don't tend to get loud(er) or pass out, I've never felt they've taken me seriously.

But I do feel that alcohol has a hold over me that isn't healthy. I've explained to DH that I want to go AF and he is supportive and has offered to join me.

Thanks for the feedback about AA. As it happens there are meetings all around. Irony: one of my oldest friends is a 22-year sober AA sponsor, yet I am too ashamed to admit to him that I am worried about my dependency.

Day 8 is now done. Roll on day 9.

Hi and welcome lizzy. Good swerve lily nice one. Hi hurricane yes who ever would have believed six months on Tuesday! When I stopped drinking, I never thought I'd last the week. Roll on the next six months. Go sober warriors

Must be post Strawberry Moon vibes or something ( post brexit blues?)

Well done lily! I had a similar day to you - reacted in similar way, went through similar checklist. Thank god for meditation and my new improved sense of mindfulness, is all I can say! NOT going to mess it all up again!

off to bed, sober and feeling ok. Busy day tomorrow.

Koko sober warriors xxx

I hear your pain - EU Vote on a Friday (worst craving day for me anyway), friends round that have been living abroad for almost 2 years = opening cava and celebrating their return and drowning sorrows over the vote - but I did not cave in

Gosh it's quiet on here today. I hope all you sober warriors are OK.

Applied for a new job and cleaned the house. Today was a good day to nothave a hangover.

By the end of today, I'll be 6 weeks sober! Feeling much more positive than earlier this week - glad you lot keptme going during the dark times of friday night!

Thanks everyone - you're all great :)

Still here, doing productive but unexciting things on a rainy Sunday (e.g. ironing!). Well done to all of us as it has undeniably been a grim weekend and so great to see some good numbers stacking up. Lily and glad and all who need them here are

Absolute and hurricane! six months! 😀

I've been feeling very restless yet droopy today - slept for 9 hours last night but still napped for an hour this afternoon, and have been wandering around the house mostly eating any crap I can get my hands on Dreary rainy Sunday feeling all round.

Some pokes from the wine witch tonight...ridiculous as I have bronchitis and a fever so nothing tastes right.

But still dry.

Day 9 done.

to you all for your own achievements and your support.

Hi all, hurricane and beginner well done 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟SIX MONTHS! That's so impressive..

jelly I know I was absolutely and completely exhausted for the first two weeks or so - let yourself rest xx

Today is my day 107. This is the longest time I have drunk no alcohol since I was 18 ... 🙂🌟

Hi everyone- what a wet day. Long early beach walk today with kids and dog while dh slept off his hangover- these are the times that make it worh being sober.

Morning all!

That's the kids up and to school, and my morning meeting has been cancelled, so can get on with some much overdue work. Am looking forward to today, which is a nice way to start Monday.

I do feel that when weekends go well, they feel much better than a weekend of drinking - it's like I've had a proper rest from the working week, instead of alternating between poisoning myself and feeling ill!

There's still a large part of me that wishes I could drink like a normal, and a bit of a voice that tells me I can reset my drinking so I'm more in control - but that's why it's one day at a time, I guess

Today, I'm not drinking

efc long walk on a beach sounds amazing!

lily - 100 days and a week - that's very good work, you star

well done for hanging in there lizzy

jelly - I'm like Lily - I was sooo exhausted the first couple of weeks - it wears off, soon you'll enter the TSP phase...

Waves at VXA, miss cookie, and my fellow productive but boring sunday person sybil

Hello All

Back from my trip away. I didn't managed AF, but did have only three small lagers the whole break so not too bad. However I just couldn't bring myself to tell my friend I have a problem with alcohol and have decided to give it up, despite the fact that I know (a) she probably knows I have a problem and (b) she wouldn't care and would support me.

Back on track yesterday and today and feeling very focussed, one little slip does not mean the beginning of a binge.

I also think I need to man up and tell a few friends that I've decided to give up (my OH knows and is supportive but I probably need a bigger circle of supporters).

I'm not even mentioning the political situation as to be honest it would drive us all to drink if we thought about it too much!

Hi everyone

finnish good luck with the work! I feel refreshed too it makes sense not to send the weekend poisoning ourselves then recovering as a way to relax.

girls welcome back! It is upto you how much you tell people but it might help that they know you are AF. I have started telling people but all I say is I'm not drinking, for me I don't feel comfortable going into details with friends.

onewhite hope you are oK.

Have a good day everyone.

I am still here. Kind of shocked and reeling at Brexit, upset about it, scared about the future. Worried about my family. Overwhelmed, suddenly, at work, due to a colleague's sickness. Exhausted and stressed.

But I have not drunk. That is all I can say right now. I am reading here though and will post when I am in a better mood and not likely to bring the side down...

You can post here whatever your mood pillow ... Hope you are feeling better

Like you pillow - I am beyond upset about the events of the last few days. It's beyond weird and going to get weirder I think.

But as my DH observed on Friday, the sun will keep on rising and setting. Taking the view that it's better to concentrate on the gifts life has given me, I'm trying to keep a balance - have had 3 days just with my two girls as DH is away, focusing on what I'm doing differently - like putting them to bed sober, not drinking pints of water before bedtime to avoid a hangover. No empty bottle accusing me of weakness yet again.

Hope you are doing ok.

I'm okay - by which I mean I am still not drinking. I am three weeks today. Which I am so glad about.

BUT I think it's taken me three weeks to realise the enormity of the task in front of me. It's not just not drinking. That is the main and most important part of it and I am, day by day, doing it touch wood.

But now I am not drunk or hungover the whole time, I can see so many other things. I can see that I literally do not have a clue how to comfort or calm myself when stressed or upset. I don't know how to wind down or reward myself.

I realise I have to learn these things, but I am exhausted and stressed and sad and I have some decisions to make and I don't know what to do, and I just feel like stamping my feet and wailing and saying, 'no, I don't want to do this!!!'

I am realising that being a drinker is like being a baby (for me). No decisions to make, no worries to have, no stresses about the future. A lot of the time I didn't even worry about getting home safely - I just left that for my friends to deal with. A complete abdication of practical and emotional responsibility. It's pathetic, I know, but that is what I was doing. And I know I have to grow up and take responsibility for these things myself.

But I don't want to. I want to be looked after.