DRY 13

[lilybetsy]

This is the thread for all those who are living, or committed to living, life free from alcohol.

I will quote a sober poster "I'm fitter, slimmer, richer, happier & healthier"

Go sober warriors !

glad that's great news!

onewhite have a list in your head of how well you are doing and how much being sober is improving your life. Keep going back to this. dont feel you have to explain or justify to others if you don't want to. Who will be with you? Do you have someone who can back you up if you need to leave or go somewhere quiet for a while?

one I find that saying no to the first drink is key. Every drink after is easier. Pick a soft drink that you would not normally have for whatever reason (too many calories, too decadent, whatever). For me my 'special' drink for being out is pineapple juice and lemonade mixed together. Usually WAY too many cals! It gives you breathing space, rehydrates you and I find that once that drink is out of the way things are so much easier.

If appropriate, take your special drink with you. If you MN on your phone when things get a bit tough go to the toilets for ten minutes and MN or check sober blogs. I also have a few blog posts printed out that have really resonated with me in the past and I take those in my handbag and if things are a bit much I go and sit in the loos (or somewhere quiet) and re-read them.

Promise yourself a treat for the next day. It sometimes is that you spend all this energy not drinking at the main event and you are really pleased with yourself then you 'slump' the next day and lapse. That has been my experience anyway. Plan something special just for you for the next day - some sober treat.

Oh, and efc is right......if you need to, don't be afraid to leave early. :) That in itself can be a joy.

Oh- and thanks hadron upthread for answering my question about your sister. :)

Oh, and one your analogy about making something out of jagged little pieces and out of a tangle was perfect. Just perfect. I have written it down and stuck it above my desk.

Morning all!

Day 38 for me. Today I'm not drinking :)

I think that after the first excitiment has died away (oooh, look at me, I've not drunk for 3 days! I'm so cool etc etc) I felt really flat/low.

It was a bit of a shock that after the first few weeks, where I couldn't distract myself with either alcohol or the constant thoughts of not drinking alcohol, I'm still me, and I still have the problems that made me drink too much before hand.

I know this shouldn't have come as a shock, but it's quite hard living through stuff rather than drinking through it!

However, my funk about this fact appears to be lifting, and I didn't drink, so that's good.

sorry not to check in with you all, I'm multi-tasking with helping dd learn her lines!

Good Morning All.
I haven't been on for a while - I've been giving myself a mumsnet break. Been dealing with some issues with my DS7 and just needed a time out. But I am still firmly on that sober horse! I can't remember how many days weeks etc but I haven't drank since Easter. Life is good I've lost 1stone 2lbs in that time, although it could be more if i could just step away from the chocolate!
How is everyone doing? There's some new names I don't recognise so hello.
Vxa how are you?
Been thinking of you all. Xx

Back to feeling like I was before the lapse last week. Recorded on my phone just how good I felt this morning waking up sober and early and rested, looking forward to a productive and enjoyable day rather than a hangover, shame and guilt. If I have a wobble will play it back! Still have stressed life but feel better for speaking out and getting help. Koko sober warriors xxx

Hi there everyone, I hope you don't mind me crashing your thread but I'd love to join you guys and give and receive some all important help/support with quitting the nasty drink! To give a rough idea of my background, I've just had a month back on the cider and wine (weekends) after a fantastic 8 months off the booze! Prior to my 8 month sober stint, I had a pretty nasty bottle of wine a night habit topped up with a couple of ciders too at the weekend (ugh!) After months of playing with the idea and a whole load of anxiety, I took the step and quit and after pretty heightened anxiety at first (which landed me on citalopram) everything became much brighter, I had energy, lost weight, took up running and felt amazing! What made me go back to it after such a fab stretch? A friends birthday celebrations at the end of May bank holiday, I was worried about what her friends would think of me being sober, and I also kind of wanted to join in a little too. To cut a long story short, I thought that I'd be able to do just one night, but then ended up in the pub the next day too and then have drank progressively more each weekend up until this weekend where I've managed to have a drink every night until a bottle of red last night made me realise that things were going straight back to that rubbish place of always wanting despite knowing that it makes you feel terrible, and if I'm honest pretty down on myself too. I managed the last eight months on my own with just the support from my fab other half, but I'm thinking that this time round I should try to get involved with some sober blogs and threads like this fab one to help me to both give and receive some much needed support and understanding. So here's to my new day 1 and a big hi to all you guys getting sober

Welcome LovesChocolate :) Congrats on your previous 8 month stint too. You'll be back in the sober swing of it in no time!

Hi loves choc great name, good to have you with us 8 months wow

Welcome LovesChocolate

Still no sign of matron? And has howbad posted recently?

Feeling low here today, kids pushing all my buttons, have just snapped at them in public at the school summer fair. Humid weather isn't helping but aaargh, they drive me mad sometimes!!!

Feel miserable.

Hey all. Welcome LovesChocolate.

Hang in there joJo. I am also snappy this evening. Can you take some time out tonight - even if only after bath and bedtime?

I am about to go for a walk. DH bless him has (despite being snapped at) started tidying the kitchen. Might have to buy me him a huge chocolate bar. :)

Thanks for the welcome guys, yep, 8 months Absolute I felt incredible too, can't believe I brought myself back to craving the old vino all because of one night out with a friend who'd only ever known me sober prior to this and a bunch of strangers! Social anxiety eh? If I've learned anything, it's to put yourself first and not to worry about what others think to your not drinking

I'm still here! day 16 for me.

slimcheesy thank you for that. I think that's what we're all doing here, isn't it? I know that kind of repair work and making something useful and beautiful is why I like knitting and sewing.

efc and slimcheesy I don't want to out myself, so I am going to be vague. I can't get out of it unless I fake an illness, and if I did DH would be really really upset with me. So I'm going. It's a weekend thing. I'm going to take audiobooks, knitting, loads of sober treats and I am going to fake a UTI because I think having to explain it all (these people know me as a big drinker) will be more stress than I need right now.

finnishbiscuiteater you're describing exactly how I feel. I feel physically better - I'm sleeping better, I'm sure I look better and I have more energy. But all this other stuff I never had to bother thinking about is floating to the surface. It's like water settling in a pond, I think - now I'm calmer I can see straight to the bottom and it's very very very muddy down there.

It's weird. It's like every single emotion I feel, the answer to it is, 'I'll have a drink.' - Feeling stressed, upset, worried, exhausted, shy, angry, tired - any of those things - my brain's reflex action is to go 'have a drink.' I literally have no idea what people who don't drink do to deal with those feelings.

But I have not been a drinker all my life. This has crept up on me over the past six years. Before that I was a very moderate social drinker who could take it or leave it and never drank at home or alone. Never. Not because I wasn't allowing myself to, but because it wouldn't have occurred to me to want to. So I did used to deal with my feelings in other ways - I am just not sure I remember how right now.

Just checking in at Day 4.

I'm really enjoying the SoberMummy blog, am spending my evening reading through that at the moment.

Welcome choc - congratulations on your decision to get right back on the wagon! Eight months is fantastic - I'm sure you will have learned from the slip and be on your guard against it next time !

I gave PM'd matron, but I haven't heard - if you are reading matron pease check in !

howbad how are you doing ?.

Those of you using the Andrew Johnson app's, which do you use ?
I hAve just discovered the bubble hour podcast, which is great !

finnish and pillow , I'm with you. I'm struggling with an enormous number of intractable problems and am really finding it hard to know how to cope. I just want to crawl away and hide, and not deal with any of it.im so tired I can't argue any more, but nothing at all is going to change ... It's no different to how it was 4 months ago - but there is no escape now from the realities. On the plus side, this is hard sober, but it would be much harder drunk.

103 days .

Lily 🌷

Hi lily with Andrew Johnson I think Quit Drinking is the original and the best. Other good ones are Healing, De Stress and the lose weight one. I got Visualise Success for my DD, she liked it but it made me cry ( weird and probably not AJ fault) enjoy and let us know what you think

Wow 103 days Lily! Well done.

I'm not having a great day. very anxious about practical and money stuff. feeling quite alone. A bit blue and quite jittery.

sober though.

great to "see" you all. have been offline for a bit. Will check back and read everyone.

Welcome loveschocolate and well done on day 4 jellybean

Here am I bright and early on day 17 enjoying the sunshine and a cup of tea before the kids wake up. Who would have thought it? I don't think I've been this cheerful in the morning, ever, in YEARS. No hangover!

howbadisthisplease hope you're feeling okay. I've been in the same place as you these past few days - we've got LOADS of practical things going on at the moment, and work is hectic, and drink was my way of turning off and it's hard to find a different way to just get off the roundabout and give my mind a rest for a while. I've been sleeping a lot and listening to podcasts too. If you're interested in podcasts let me know and I will recommend some to you.

Special scary event is tomorrow. I'm off out this afternoon to buy some special sober drinks and treats. I've really been enjoying tonic water and lime in the evening.

What are people's opinions on AF beer and wine? Or other boozy-replacement-AF drinks like Seedlip? I don't like sweet or sugary drinks but wonder if fake-booze might be a trigger and a kind of gate-way drug to the real thing. Any experiences there?

Onewhite I drink all AF alternatives, including lagers, cider, wine & Seedlip. Never had a problem with any of them personally from a trigger point of view and in fact at social events I could hide behind them as a bottle of Becks Blue looks like any other bottled beer so it deflected questions!

Morning all. Just jumping in quickly (off to vote)

I think AF alternatives are a really useful tool at times, one. I partic like the Sainsbury's AF sparkling wine- it is sweet, but not as sweet as some things. I think for social events or just when you want to blend in at the pub they are great. I know plenty of people consider them to be a gateway but I think that is about how it affects you personally. For me it means that sometimes if I am feeling jumpy and conspicuous I can hide behind them like lucy says. It takes the pressure off a bit.

I drink Seedlip & Becks blue lemon, I enjoy both and dont find them triggery. I particularly like seedlip as i feels live a very adult taste and mixed up with good tonic and grapefruit segments its gorgeous !

I did hang in there yesterday thanks slim although it was a bit of a close call at one point!!

Feeling calmer today.

Good to see you howbad and everyone!

I like Becks Blue, Sains AF cider, Eisberg red or white and Sains sparkling is a very acceptable bubbly substitute :)

So glad I am back on being sober, as I had to make an emergency car drive at lunchtime to deal with a crisis. Wouldn't have been able to do that if I was still drinking.

Hi all, how's things going ?