DRY 13

[lilybetsy]

This is the thread for all those who are living, or committed to living, life free from alcohol.

I will quote a sober poster "I'm fitter, slimmer, richer, happier & healthier"

Go sober warriors !

Ive just LOOKED at myself in the mirror. I am a lump. Today I am a bored, irritable, restless lump. I have a huge amount of work to complete to a tight deadline and I can't be bothered / can't settle to anything ,

Having a massive mood swing - this is horrid. I can't settle to drawing which I love , working, doing the ironing , watching TV : anything at all . Yuk

I missed yoga class because I thought it was later than it is - that pissed me off a lot

I think I am going to try and run

lily take a deep breath. You did absolutely brilliantly yesterday with the reunion. That was a huge thing and you did it. From your posts today it sounds as if you felt elated and now your mood has tumbled. Try and just be kind to yourself. You need some well deserved TLC.

I know you feel like a lump - so do I. But it's hot and sticky, you are tired and emotional and now is not the time to do anything about it. I am really going to focus on my eating this week. I'll be your healthy eating buddy if you want.

If I am on Day 67 does that make you Day 86 ??

Love and hugs. xxxxxx

Thanks for the responses about my sister.

Yep she is a funny fish. We had a rather odd childhood - we were very well looked after and a lot of stuff my mum did was better than other childhoods of the 70s and 80s - we were fed more wholesome food, physically kept safer, and so on. But we were very different from the other kids at state schools on rough estates in recession-gripped Merseyside, and we were badly teased and bullied. We have responded to this in different ways of course, as people do, but I know what makes her her; I would speculate (terrible homemade psychology here) that she internalised a sense of superiority to justify the alienation, and she feels very threatened when something causes the superiority to appear to be illusory.

She is also great in many ways as well... I know we all have our quirks.

Thanks everyone race went well. It was a Race for Life event, great atmosphere but very hot. Made me even more determined to look after my health by not drinking.

finnish glad you enjoyed the party sober. It's nice to have quiet chat and remember it. Same for you lily well done on attending the reunion. Bet you felt great this morning, you attended and no waking up with alcohol fuelled regrets.

Hope everyone feeling bit better this morning now the heat is lowering a bit!

May I join in? I read this whole thread yesterday, as I think I'm coming to terms with the fact that I have a drink problem.

I'm on a very early day 3 AF and the questions/thoughts that are buzzing around my head seem to occupy quite a bit of my day...

Ive downloaded so many books, read blackout in one day (Saturday) and I'm now a few chapters into the sober revolution, I have also looked into attending an AA meeting this week but I am so so scared.

I can't do this anymore, I am not the mother, wife, friend I should be. I have abused alcohol all my life, binge drinking, sinking wine most nights, even staying up to watch any old crap on the TV (pretending I wanted to watch it, just so I could stay up and have a few more drinks). I am having more and longer blackouts, the hangovers don't touch me anymore.

But I am struggling to see a life without drink, the socialising, the celebrations, the sad occasions, the relaxing, without it.

Sorry to waffle on, just wanted to pop in and say you've all inspired me and hopefully this is just the start of my journey.

howbad sorry to hear your sister is so challenging, we can't choose our families sounds like you are very tolerant!

bellini welcome. I've just finished 'Sober revolution' found it very good. Well done on 3 days and this is the place to be to carry on those numbers.

Welcome Bellini and congratulations on 3 days AF.

When I first stopped I immersed myself in everything I could get my hands on re not drinking. As well as books, blogs and this wonderful board I also listened to a lot of The Bubble Hour podcasts so you could try those.

Some people like Andrew Johnson's quit drinking app and also Headspace.

Most of all though take care of yourself.

Thank you efc1878 and vxa2 for the welcome, I downloaded the Andrew Johnson app yesterday and listened to it before I went to sleep and his voice made me cry! No idea why but going to keep listening.

Thanks again :)

hi bellini and welcome to the thread. Really well done on beng brave enough to admit that alcohol is a problem for you - and that you are going to do something about that. As you will know , you are in good company on this thread! There are new posters , just started on the journey , right up to some fabulous Soberista's who have been dry for a number of years; and everything in between.

I'm on day 86, of my second serious attempt to stop drinking. Like you describe, I have been a heavy wine drinker, with increasingly alarming consequences,

My advice, for what it's worth is not to look at 'forever', just look at today - and if that's too much ( it has been for all of us sometimes) just look at the next 5 minutes . The preoccupation with alcohol does reduce with time, and it gets easier - the first couple of weeks are definitely the hardest physically. Have you ever tried to stop before ?

I have tried to reframe the decision this time - I'm not 'giving up' alcohol - this has negative imagery and connotations; no , I'm choosing to be sober which is a positive decision... Maybe try thinking like that, if you can...

vxa thank you. You are, of course right. I'm all in a tizz today with my emotional stability rocked. Mostly I'm stressed about a big work event I am organising / facilitating on Weds. I am not prepared and have, as usual,left everything to the last minute ... Aaaaaaaggggghhhhhh

I would love to be your healthy eating buddy - I'm toying with doing 5:2 - starting tomorrow ....

I did go for a run earlier - had to walk a lot - but feeling calmer now - and it's nearly bed time :-)

I am white knuckling at the moment despite being more than a 100 days AF. I think it must be PAWS. And stress from some major family stuff I have no control over but is seriously affecting my life. I just keep using Headspace (love Andy!) and AJ ( love Andrew!) and saying to myself it would all be so much worse if I were drunk or hungover tbh.
KOKO Sober Warriors :) xxx

glad morning, you are so right whatever is going on is best delt with sober. Even though it's tempting to blot out the troubles with drink it won't solve anything. Take care of yourself.

I am really trying to take on board a positive view to being sober not feeling like I'm missing out. I found Allen Carr gets this point over well.

efc big congrats on the run . There is nothing like running to bring home the benefits of being sober, and not continually injuring our precious bodies with alcohol!!

Lily sorry to hear you are still feeling low. I remember going through all sorts of emotional lows during the stage you're in. I think it's partly to do with the body still adjusting to life without the ups and downs of alcohol use/withdrawal, and being out of the early, exciting phase where it's all new and focussed. FWIW I would recommend still focussing on doing 'good stuff' for yourself - good nutritious meals, sleep, exercise, yoga, time for yourself as much as possible - rather than taking on something which means you're cutting things out (like 5:2). Of course you know what you're feeling, and what will help you; that's just my 2p

Welcome bellini life is so much easier once you don't have alcohol to worry about!

KOKO glad, you've got this .

glad I hope you are ok.

It seems that you know what the trigger is/ are? Are you missing being able to be 'out of it' and dumping the anxiety ? Being relentlessly sentient does get tiring - can you find another way to relax ?? Is there any other reason why you are missing the drink right now ? The weather ?

Good to share it glad. Don't bottle it up - that way relapse lies. Get it out ! Share your frustrations and we will help you find some alternatives ...

Big hug xxx

You ok bellini ?

Lily 🌷

Hi Bellini - I'm still (day 21 AF) at the stage where I can say I'm not going to drink today but start to panic when I try to project that decision forward - so I'm just focussing on the day to day.

I've told friends that I'm going to try 90 days - but that's mainly so they don't freak out! I'm secretly hoping to give up forever, but I can't actually plan that yet...

lily - you always talk such great sense, it's brilliant having you on these threads... my foster father said he spent his first 50 years stressing about how he always left everything to the last minute, then decided to just accept that about himself - he still leaves thing to the last minute, but it doesn't upset him - he just sets his alarm clock to go off at 5am on a Sunday so he can write his sermon then!

& glad

fuzzy - It's like Adriene is here when you say: 'you've got this'

or maybe it's just me with the yoga with Adriene obsession :)

finnish I think that's where I got it! Love Adrienne!

Yes, all okay here! Having a nice positive day, fell asleep listening to the Andrew Johnson app but I am sure some of it must be soaking in.

I am on Day 4, I have got a baby shower on Weds which would normally be my excuse to sink a good few glasses of wine and then waste a day feeling crap at work on Thursday, so I am looking forward to not feeing that but dreading the 'why are you not drinking?' and 'go on just have one'...

I have tried dry January and sober October before lilybetsy but didn't get past 10 days and wasn't in this mindset at all so here is hoping this is different.

Well done to all of you so far, such inspirations.

Welcome Bellini from me too :)

Gorgeous day here!
Sending you a big sober hug glad. Hang on in there lovely. What doesn't break us makes us stronger right?

I love Adriene too. Not doing too great with the 30 days of yoga - struggling a bit to fit it in to be honest ..

Hope everyone is ok today - is very hot and sunny where I am, nice - and picks up my mood !!

Lily 🌷

Failed. Day 1 again. Got through half term and all the visits to parents, all the stresses and endless travelling without alcohol and then decide to 'reward' myself with a takeaway last night and somehow DH and I had some wine aswell. Usual result, no sleep, feel like crap. I actually think I'm allergic to the damn stuff - surely one bottle between two people shouldn't make me so ill?!? But I know this and still I fall for it. Am complete idiot. Sorry to fail again. Cried already this morning and now have to get through a busy day.
So glad to hear everyone seems to be doing so well, you give me hope.
matron how are you?

Morning Jojo - Onwards and upwards, as they say - I think it's fairly common to slip occasionally - but it sounds like it's been helpful, in a strange way.

How long are the 30 days of yoga Lily? I'm just about managing to fit in yoga camp, which varies between 20 - 20 minutes - that feels about right. Although I'm only on day 17, I'm starting to worry about what to do when it finishes!

Still really struggling with a stinking cold. Feels very unfair - I've not felt this ill for years! Can't sleep at night as I feel uncomfortable and have to blow my nose every 5 mins - then feel so tired all day. Still, after 5 days, I must be nearing the end of it!

Thanks finnish. I do understand my thought processes a bit better when this happens, I just need to get better at stopping them before it's too late. I should have seen this coming, it's a 'quiet' time in between big events for me which is always a danger, I got out of my sober routines and rewards and was tired, stressed and a bit emotional after seeing my parents who live a long way away and are quite frail. I should have gone to bed yesterday and been kinder to myself but instead I cleaned the house and did a million things. Sigh. I live and learn.
Thankfully my arrangements for this morning have been called off so I'm going to rest finally. Another big weekend on the way.
Hope everyone has a good day!

Hugs, Jojo, no advice really, but just wanted to say that I really get why it can happen so easily. Finally relaxing after a though couple of days, the take away, there's a habit there, to have a drink with it. It takes time, patience and concentration to change any habit that has been ingrained for so long. One lapse of concentration and you can slip up. Hope you feel better soon.

Managed to get through the long weekend with lovely weather and two barbecues. Not easy, after a long hill walk on Saturday I really, really craved a cold beer to 'relax', but managed to convince myself that sparkling water was just as nice. And you know what, it was.

Hi everyone

jojo sounds like you really didn't enjoy that wine, keep reminding yourself that. Is your do supportive or did he encourage the drinking?

Thanks drpiggle you're right in saying time, concentration and patience is required. I lapse when I take my eye off it. Still feeling lousy and poisoned - if anyone else is feeling tempted, you really don't want to feel like this!!

Hope your cold is improving finnish

Sorry, didn't see you there efc , you're right, I didn't enjoy it. It's so ridiculous to drink when even a couple of glasses make me very ill - really, it should be easy not to drink!! But the wine=reward thing is very ingrained in me clearly. DH is generally very supportive of me not drinking but I don't think he realises that I can't have any at all as he thought us sharing a bottle would be ok...perhaps that isn't totally clear in my head either because I accepted, although it should be by now! He has also stated that he doesn't want to 'police' me and quite rightly so, the resolve has to come from me. He has said he is quite happy to not have alcohol in the house at all which is great. I just need to get back in my sober groove again, the school holidays send me spinning a bit and I lose my way.