husband has lied about porn - worth him getting help?

[ChiefChocolateTester]

My DH used porn before we got together 13 years ago. I didn't have a problem with it, but told him I did have a problem with lies and secrecy surrounding it, as I find that hard to handle.

Since then, on more than on occasion, husband has used porn (more like the freebie soft porn girlie channels). Fine. But he has lied about it and denied it when I have evidence e.g. Channel on tv being left on.

Due to the lies, we sought counselling 10 years ago to look at the reasons why. Never did get to the bottom of it bar shame and embarrassment.

10 years later, its still happening. Its killing my trust for him, and DH is bereft. He doesn't know why he still lies, and is gutted because its getting to the point that I'm considering asking him to leave. DH says he wants to get counselling again.

Help and advice needed please.

Most people's natural instinct when theyre caught masturbating is to lie, because its embarrassing. And i sense you perhaps just arent as cool with the porn as you let on.

Having said that, he is being insensitive leaving tv on those channels. IMO he shouldnt be doing it when youre in the house, and should have the good grace to make sure it stays private if thats how he wants it.

The porn defenders are out in full force I see..

Thanks all for your advice. I have been a controlling twat and owe my DH an apology. Its lovely that you have taken the time to reply.

Thank you all

Its not your fault though op. I hope everything goes well for you x

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Am I reading this right?

You're fine with him watching porn
Walk in on him wanking over porn
Say oh sorry! I didn't realise I was disturbing you
He says you weren't/he wasn't doing anything/wasn't wanking/wasn't watching porn

Exactly! If you are so fine with it, why the atmosphere when you caught him? Shouldn't it be that you both laughed it off and carried on with life? Sounds like you're not totally fine with it, which is equally ok, I wouldn't be and many other women wouldn't be either.
Couldn't he have done it in another room at least, or made sure there was definitely no chance of you returning in the next few mins, so that the chance could arise that you could catch him.
Not understanding OP - how does you accidentally walking in on him doing something you're both equally fine with mean you're controlling.
It sounds to me like you can't win either way with porn, even if you are honestly cool with it, some men will make you think you're actually not, so as to make you seem like you are the "controlling" one.
Manipulation at its best.

If what I've written above is correct the problem is the OP being fine with him watching porn, her walking in on him watching it and him lying/denying it while his cock is in his hand like she's some sort of complete fucking idiot/mug who will believe him when she can see with her own eyes what he's doing if I've read it right, that's what she's upset about, not the actual watching of porn. Also doesn't read like she expects him to minute his wanks or tell her all about them after but as if she's literally walked in on him during him doing it and he's said he isn't

Ohhhh.. Ok, well in that case it does sound like he thinks she's a mug or stupid - or he's a compulsive liar. I had an ex like this. The lies revolved around porn particularly - there were times I actually caught him in the act and he would still lie, swearing on members of his family's lives, and his own - quite scary behaviour, and people say porn is harmless???